Christian & Rose: Unexpected Love
by DelenaJate
Summary: Rose has always been in love with Dimitri right? If this is the case, why does she start having unexpected feelings for Christian? This is a story about how love can come from the most unexpected places and how some moroi/dhampirs aren't what they seem..
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, the amazing Richelle Mead does!_

**Chapter 1**

Dimitri was the guy I was in love with right? After everything we had both been through together, it was only logical to stay together and to be in love; but if this was the case, why is it I seemed to have these _unusual _feelings for none other... Christian Ozera, my best friend Lissa's boyfriend.

Ever since I had met him and seen him with Lissa, we had always had a weird sort of relationship. Christian was a very troubled moroi and he specialised in fire, whereas Lissa specialised in spirit and was also a highly regarded moroi royal. Christian on the other hand, hadn't been accepted into our moroi society ever since his parents turned to the dark side and changed into strigoi; although Christian himself would never willingly turn into a strigoi, people were wary around him; people didn't know what to expect from the son of two, now dead, strigoi parents.

Lissa had always been sure about him though. I remember when I had a hard time trying to block out Lissa and Christian having sex in secret. Before you think I'm a perv or something, I'm not. Lissa and me, we have this bond. I can go into her mind and read her thoughts, and I can also see everything through Lissa's eyes wherever she may be; I remember the feeling of excitement when I realised I could do this. Lissa hadn't been thrilled about it though and I didn't blame her. Having someone reading _my _thoughts and being able to see _me _having sex was not something I wanted to think about and this is why I _hate _it when I can't control my mind to stop wandering into Lissa's thoughts. Especially during those _sexy _moments; although I have to admit Christian has a _hot _body; hotter than hot in fact; which brings me back to my dilemma.

When Lissa turned Dimitri back into a dhampir, I thought I would die with happiness; I was finally going to have the man I loved back. I would end the world for him. I would do _anything _for him; what I didn't expect was for him to push me away, telling me when I finally did confront him that "love fades" and that he didn't ever want to see me again. I was heartbroken. I hated myself for feeling jealous when I saw him with Lissa and the worship I saw glittering in his eyes when he looked at her, but I couldn't help the rush of bile I could feel coming up my throat. It was _me _who had gone to Russia, choosing him over my best friend to kill him when he was still a strigoi. It was _me _who had risked my life while there and it was _me _that broke into a highly secured prison to break out when of the most sought out criminals of all time in the moroi world to find out the information to turn back Dimitri into a dhampir. It wasn't Lissa, so why didn't he look at me the way he looked at Lissa?

That was the least of my problems however. The day I told him about the age restriction for young dhampirs being able to fight at sixteen instead of eighteen, was the day I was thrown in prison for the murder of Queen Tatiana; a death I _know _I didn't cause. You would think that I would be able to free myself, or at least Dimitri would be the one to save me as a thank you for helping him over the past four months. However, it wasn't him, or Lissa, or Adrian for that matter. It was Christian. Well, mostly Christian; Dimitri had wanted to save me from the cells for his own reasons, which didn't include wanting me to be safe...

I had been in the dirty cell for two weeks, waiting for my trail which I was expected to be seen as guilty at, when I heard a loud noise outside the door a few feet away from me, leading to the entrance to the prison, I knew someone had come to save me. At the time, I had thought it was Dimitri, finally coming to his senses, coming to help _me _for once; when Christian came flying through the now opened (and burned) door, using his speciality, fire, to burn the three guards outside my cell, I had to admit to myself that all I felt was disappointment. It crawled inside me, becoming stronger; it was like an unstoppable force and although I knew I was close to freedom at last, freedom didn't seem worth it if Dimitri didn't want me. Not to mention the fact that everyone thought I had killed the late Queen and therefore wouldn't want anything to do with me, and if they saw me, I would find myself back in the cell again. I would have to be in hiding forever.

I watched in numb silence as Christian burned the three guardians that had been watching my cell to a stake and then burned the bars that stopped me from escaping the cell and waited for me to leave it.

"Come on Rose!" He whispered in a quiet panicked voice, but I couldn't move. It was like my body was frozen in place and every thought and feeling I had was put on hold. Christian began to walk towards me and I started to inch backwards until my body couldn't move anymore due to the wall my back now rested on. Christian leaned in towards me and grabbed my face in both his hands. "Rose, we have to leave now before the guards come and I'm thrown in prison with you. Then neither of us will be able to escape; this will be our one and only chance to get you out of here. I'm running out of energy already and I don't think I will be able to hold the fought any longer by burning people to a crisp. You have fighting power though. Although looking at you now, I'm not so sure..." Christian trailed off, looking at me pleadingly to go with him, to be out of this hell hole once and for all. But I still couldn't move, or speak for that matter. "Okay Rose, I didn't want to do this, but..." Before I had chance to process his wording, I felt a slight sting in my lower arm as he stuck something sharp there. The next thing I knew, everything was becoming darker, until eventually everything went black.

I woke up to find myself in a small(ish) bed in a small room I didn't recognize. It smelled strangely of chocolate, something I hadn't had in a long time and all of a sudden craved. As I felt my mouth watering, it was then that I saw Dimitri, of all people, sitting in a chair opposite the bed I was in, happily eating a bowlful of chocolate and vanilla ice cream. He must have realised someone was staring at him because he then looked up and straight into my eyes; it was weird looking into his gorgeous brown eyes, seeing the warmth and love there that I hadn't seen in a long time, not since before he turned into a strigoi. I actually found it overwhelming to see something I never expected to see again after his "love fades" comment. It was at this moment that Christian walked through the door, ruining the moment I had with Dimitri.

"So sleeping beauty is finally awake." He said with a huge grin on his face. I didn't understand why he looked so happy, until I remembered that I wasn't in jail anymore. Christian had _saved _me. The question was, how had Dimitri come into the equation? And what had put me to "sleep"? Surely Christian hadn't drugged me...?

"Of course I'm awake. I would also like to know what happened. What I missed while I was "sleeping"." I said to him with my best judging him but pretending not to be face.

"Well we, me and Dimitri that is, wanted to help you escape from the prison. You know you would have died if you had been found guilty of killing the late Queen. We wanted to protect you from that."

"What, by burning the guardians to a stake, kidnapping me and making sure I have to live in exile for the rest of my life, because you know this is what's gonna happen. Anyone that sees me isn't going to protect me; they will report me straight to the authorities if they see even a hint of me walking around anywhere."

"That is not going to happen Roza." I had actually forgotten Dimitri was in the room. As I had been yelling at Christian, Dimitri had walked upto the side of my bed and was kneeling down, so that his face was only inches from mine. He had enlightened me with his statement with a cool scary voice, that I would have feared if it was a statement that was threatening me. The statement also cleared my panic a little. Dimitri would be able to protect me, right? I had always felt safe around Dimitri, from the day I had first met him. I'm not saying I have always liked and loved him, but the only thing I have ever had to fear around him was whether I would be expelled from my school; which turned out not to be the case.

I reached out and pulled him onto the bed, which turned out to be easy as he didn't resist at all. He pulled me into his arms and we hugged for what seemed like ages; I really couldn't bring myself to release my hold on him – this was the guy I had and always would love. Nothing else mattered as long as I had him close. It was then that I realised Christian was still in the room; he had occupied the chair that Dimitri had been sitting in when I first woke up, and he was eating the chocolate and vanilla ice cream Dimitri had been eating before too. He was looking at me with a puzzled expression on his face, but other than that, his expression was pretty unreadable. Sometimes I really couldn't understand Christian; one minute he was his annoying cocky self, irritating the hell out of me, then the next it was like we were the closest people ever; in a platonic way that is. There was also the rare times, like just now, where he wore this confused, or puzzled look on his face which suggested he was thinking too much about things he probably shouldn't – yeah, I was great at understanding people...

"So are you guys gonna tell me where we are and how Dimitri fits into all of this?" It turned out to be a question I didn't want the answer for.

Christian was the only that explained how after my first trial, the one that would decide whether I was going onto the bigger and scarier trail, Christian took off, away from Lissa, his aunt and Adrian, and sought out Dimitri about my "problem". They both realised, with his fire power, and Dimitri's fighting skill, they could help me escape jail. What they didn't realise, was that there were thirteen guardians guarding the prison. Five in the main office, another five leading to the cells, and three outside my cell; this meant they had needed the help of a spirit user, and seeing as the only spirit users they knew were Adrian and Lissa, they had to ask one of them to complete the task. At first they contemplated asking Adrian to do it, but then turned against this idea because not only was Adrian a drunk, (well he drank a lot due to spirit's side effects) but he was also madly in love with me and would want to be involved with every chapter of getting me to "safety"; whatever that was. This meant switching their plans to asking Lissa to do it. Although they didn't really like this idea as Lissa had been using spirit quite a lot recently, they also knew that Lissa would do anything for me and she would also back off when Christian and Dimitri told her to. That was that plan sorted; they planned to "free" me in exactly two weeks – not straight away because they knew how safety was supposed to be in prison's and although it was always high tech, it always loosened up after a couple of weeks of the criminal being there.

That was when the real fun started. On the day they planned to release me, both Dimitri and Christian decided that it would be better if Christian went to retrieve me from the cell because it would be too emotional if Dimitri was there; Christian agreed.

When they arrived to the opening of the prison, killing or at least knocking out the moroi and guards on duty was a real risky and hard task. But they managed to somewhat do it and while Dimitri held the forte in the main office, Christian went to do some guard crisping in the holding cells where I was kept. After killing the guards that had been holding me, Christian tried to plead with me to leave with him, but when I didn't move, he had to drug me to go with him.

"Wait a minute! You drugged me?" Christian and Dimitri could feel my anger rising and tried to control it by doing the one thing they knew – making me feel guilty or that I was responsible for their actions.

"I had no choice Rose. You wouldn't come, you just sat there like a stature and I didn't know what to do. I brought the drugs with me in case this happened, but if I'm being honest I didn't expect to use them. I thought you would want to escape that horrible place." I knew Christain was being honest and I accepted that, but it still annoyed the hell out of me. Who was he to drug me without my permission?

"Come on Roza, he did it for your own good." There was Dimitri again; my rock. He always knew how to put me straight, another reason why I loved him so much.

"Okay, I'm sorry Christian. Well tell me how we got here then." And on the story went. It turned out that we were actually still _in _court. How they thought staying in court would be the way to keep me safe, I don't know. "You're telling me, that after this whole escape route, we didn't even leave court? That we're in the place that is probably the least safe place for me right now?" Again I felt my anger rising, but it turned out that there was a good reason I was still here; this time it was Dimitri that filled me in.

"The reason, Roza, that we are still in court instead of fleeing the country, is because you are no longer the person charged for the murder of Tatiana." He paused for a minute as he said 'Rest in peace' under his breath, something I always found so sweet about him, the way he cared about people/moroi/dhampirs so much; he looked so fierce on the outside, but on the inside...

But Dimitri wasn't able to carry on with his speech to me, as Christian beat him to it. "What he was about to say was that Adrian was charged for her murder. They found significant proof that it was him and not you." That made me speechless.

**Okay if you read this, I know there isn't really much Christian/Rose action and it's more Rose's "love" for Dimitri, but it will change as the story goes on. Please review if you DID read it and tell me what you think ;)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

I couldn't believe I was hearing this. Sure, Adrian wasn't my favourite moroi ever, but he was the _last _person that would have killed the Queen. Tatiana doted on him like he was her own son and he doted on her like she was his mother; well, he treated her as nice as Adrian treats _anyone._

"No, that can't be true, right? Adrian's the last person that would do that; this has to be some sort of mistake." It was then that Dimitri looked at me again full on in the face with a serious expression that I had seen numerous times before, that had always freaked me out.

"Rose, calm down. Yes, this is all true and we have to live with that. You're free and the real culprit is behind bars as it should be." The weird thing was, he actually _believed _that. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"I have to get out of here." Before either Dimitri or Christian knew what was happening, I had raced out of the room and I was out of the court's buildings.

As the cool breeze hit my face, I tried to think about all the information Christian and Dimitri had bombarded on me in such a short space of time. The one thing that confused me more than anything was that Dimitri genuinely believed Adrian murdered Tatiana. Either that or he knew more than he was letting on.

I walked around the grounds of the court, until I started to feel my feet hurting and therefore I went to sit on a deserted nearby bench to carry on with my dismal thoughts. I think I stayed sitting for a couple of hours, sometimes wondering how I could help Adrian, other times not thinking of anything at all, when I looked up to see Christian staring down at me. He sat down beside me, and we sat there in silence for what felt like an eternity until finally Christian spoke.

"I don't think Adrian killed Queen Tatiana either." He said; it was then that I finally looked at him. When Christian had told me that Adrian had been charged with the Queen's murder, instead of me now, all I had felt was numb. I hadn't known what to say. I mean, what do you say when you have been knocked back speechless because of something that obviously _can't _be true. When I saw how Dimitri was convinced Adrian was guilty, I hadn't had a chance to see what Christian thought of all of this; as I processed yet more information, I realised that he must have thought I hadn't heard him, because he repeated what he had already told me. "I said, I don't think Adrian killed the Queen either."

"I know what you said Christian, I do have ears; or is this news to you as well?" I didn't mean to snap at him, but I was just so overwhelmed by the situation. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. Crazy lifestyle fit the bill for my life.

"Okay, okay. You don't have to snap. I guess I just thought after Dimitri's "shocking" outburst, you would have been glad to see someone was on the same page as you." As he had spoken this, he had been waving his arms in the air in a gesture of maybe giving up, because he knew a fight against me, whether physically or by words, was useless. I would _always _win. Well most of the time anyway. Something that puzzled me however, when he was speaking to me again, was the fact that when he had said "shocking", he hadn't said it seriously, it almost sounded sarcastic. I didn't want to read anything into it though, so I didn't mention it.

"Sorry." I mumbled, before I stormed into my speech about how we could (possibly) save Adrian. "Listen. You and Dimitri both saved me from the cells, why can't we do that for Adrian as well? He doesn't deserve to be locked down there, just as I wasn't. There has to be a way to save him, I mean-" I wasn't able to finish my sentence as Christian cut me off.

"Rose, you don't understand. Dimitri and I got in so much trouble after the debacle with you a couple of days ago. The only thing that saved our bacon and stopped us from being your neighbour in cells next and opposite you was because of the "evidence" that came to light that Adrian was the murderer. I mean, I'm on clearing the paperwork duty, just for killing and injuring guards! I mean, you would think it would be worse... I suppose moroi are starting to see that moroi can help dhampirs in the fight against strigoi..."

"Christian, back on subject. We were talking about Adrian...?" I know what Christian was saying had a lot to do with this, but if I was being honest with myself I didn't really care; selfish yes, but then everyone was being selfish around here lately...

"Right. Anyway, I was saying that we won't be able to help Adrian escape from prison for a number of reasons. One – there are now _double _the amount of guards that were there when you were there; they're more conscious of an attack or an escape since we freed you; two – Dimitri-" He wasn't maybe to finish his sentence because at that moment Lissa came stumbling out of court, Mia on her heels. I heard Christian say "Talk about it later" under his breath as he jumped up from the bench and walked over to Lissa who began making out with him as soon as he arrived before her.

While they were making out (it was very pukey to watch, so I avoided watching them, although it didn't help when I could feel myself being sucked into Lissa's head), Mia came over and sat next to me. Mia was a beautiful blonde moroi who was a servant at court. She was well respected for a servant, although royal moroi still looked down at her and thought they were better than her just because of their title. I remember a time when we were sworn enemies. When Lissa and me came back to our school, after being forced back by Dimitri and his crew, Mia gave Lissa a hard time because Mia was dating Aaron, Lissa's ex boyfriend, and Lissa's ex boyfriend was still in love with Lissa. What Mia didn't realise, was that by picking a fight with Lissa, meant picking a fight with me. After lots of petty fighting, stealing boyfriends, our feud came to an end when I, unintentionally, saved her life from the hands of a strigoi, who was about to turn her. We've been close friends ever since.

"So how are you Mia? Still servicing the stuck up moroi's?" I asked her, and Mia gave me an amused smile before answering.

"Yes I am Rose. Why, does that surprise you? You know I have to do this because of my father and our lack of wealth. Besides, I'm practising fighting with Christian behind closed doors so it's not so bad." She winked at me then and for some reason, the thought of Christian and Mia "fighting" behind closed doors irritated me to no end. It was bad enough that I had to watch him making out with Lissa every second they were together. Or the looks of love and longing they gave each other whilst passing each other in court. "What's up Rose? Are you worried about Adrian?" She mistook my look for worry over Adrian, which wasn't far off the mark, I mean I _was_ worried about Adrian.

"Of course I'm worried about him. He didn't murder Tatiana, anyone with half a brain would know that." I could hear the anger and bitterness in my voice rising again, and Mia slowly backed off. Good job. Anyone that knew me, _knew _what I was like when I was angry.

At that moment I found Christian and Lissa walking towards us after finally ending their make out session.

"Are you okay Rose? I thought of you straight away when Adrian was locked up." That was Lissa all over; she cared so much about the people around her...

"Yeah, but he's the one locked up after all. He didn't murder the Queen. I don't get why people are so insistent he did." I told her, although I was pretty sure she knew what I was thinking anyway, we knew each other that well.

"I don't know Rose, the evidence against him is looking pretty much like concrete." I saw her watch me as my mouth went wide open. When I looked over at Christian, I could see he was wearing the same expression as me, but Mia's expression was unreadable.

"You can't be serious Lissa." It was Christian that spoke this time, I had nothing to say, I was too shocked at what Lissa had just said. "You _know _Adrian wouldn't do something like that; especially to the aunt that adored him and vice versa. Surely you of all people-"

Lissa held her hand up as she spoke again. "Christian, haven't you seen the evidence against him? As soon as the moroi police could get a hold of that human gadget thing that can tell who's finger prints are on an item, they found Adrian's fingerprints there; he's been in trouble so many times for drink driving, it was pretty damn simple to find out the real culprit. Top that with the fact that his earlier witness confessed he had no idea where Adrian really was and you have yourself the murderer."

I'd had enough of this. First Dimitri and now Lissa as well? Next Adrian's mother would be saying she was an eye witness! As Lissa and Christian carried on with their argument, one person defending Adrian, the other making him out to be some sort of monster, I walked away and went to my room. It occurred to me then that I hadn't seen Dimitri since Christian had first dropped the bombshell on me.

Later that day, after I had a few hours sleep, I heard a knock at my door. I knew who is was before I opened it. "Hey Christian. Here to finish our earlier conversation?" He gave me a big grin in return. I just wasn't sure if it was serious or not. I remember when he was telling me the reasons why we couldn't get Adrian out of prison and how his second reason had begun with Dimitri. I think that's probably why I was anxious to find out the other reasons so much. What had Dimitri got to do with Adrian being locked up? Wouldn't he want to help him be freed if I wanted that to happen? It didn't made sense to me and I think that was why I wanted, no _needed, _to know what Dimitri had to do with all of this.

"Okay, I'm not sure how you will feel about this Rose, so bare with me. Don't blame me for what I'm about to tell you. Look at me as more of a messenger and you know what they say - 'Don't shoot the messenger.'" I could tell that Christian was nervous, which didn't really make me feel any better. Christian was the type of guy that didn't become nervous that easily; he was a lot like me in that respect. "Okay, well Dimitri was the one that reported Adrian in the first place. If it wasn't for him, the moroi police wouldn't have collected that human gadget to find out who's finger prints were on it in the first place. You know what the moroi community is like; a scandal as bad as killing the Queen scares everyone, therefore they need someone locked up fast to ease their panic; you were the easy target. Someone coming forward claiming it was someone else that did the deed is not something that people want the public eye to know about. They had to make sure it didn't get out and cause more problems, so they had no other choice but to retrieve that gadget thing." He couldn't be right, right? Or if this was true I was dreaming...NO having a nightmare. It couldn't be my Dimitri he was talking about.

"I don't believe you." I said to him, quietly and coolly with my face void of expression.

"Rose you have to believe me." He replied, as he started walking towards me slowly with a look of hurt and panic on his face; what for, I didn't know. I had never seen him look at me the way he was looking at me now. It was like he was _pleading _with me to believe him; like, if I didn't believe him, no one would or it didn't matter if anyone did, as long as I did. It was actually a look I had given Dimitri numerous times. What did he expect though? That I would automatically go "Oh I've always known that Dimitri would do something like this, that he would put Adrian behind bars, especially after he knows how close Adrian and I are." I love Adrian as a best friend nearly as much as I loved Lissa; it was a big deal to me. I also knew Dimitri would _never _do something like this.

"Get away from me Christian. In fact, get out. I don't believe you and I don't want you anywhere near me. The Dimitri you're talking about is not my Dimitri; it's just a figment of your imagination. Or it's you, so just get out." I said the last two words more quietly and again coolly, as I watched Christian hesitate for a moment, nod and then walk to the door. Before he left, he had some final words to say: "Dimitri isn't some wonderful god you think he is Rose. Some day you will work that out and I will be waiting... for you to apologize. Also remember I'm the messenger. It wasn't me that put Adrian behind bars; maybe because I _know _he didn't do it." As he walked away, I kept thinking, 'don't hold your breath C and whatever.' Why would I need to ask for his forgiveness? If anything, it should be the opposite way round. Christian was supposed to be my _friend_, he wasn't supposed to make up stupid stories about my boyfriend. Plus, I didn't understand what he meant when he went on about he didn't make a red herring out of Adrian. What did he mean?

It was an hour later, after I had finished cursing Christian when I finally decided I needed to speak to Lissa again. I needed to know why she believed Adrian would really murder _anyone, _let alone the late Queen. Adrian was a spirit user just like Lissa, so this was partly the reason why Lissa had genuinely confused me. Apart from me, Lissa was the closest person to Adrian.

When I reached her dorm, which was on the opposite side of court to where my room was, I realised that Lissa wasn't on her own; me being me, I _had _to know who was with her. I gently put my ear next to the door and listened to the muffled conversation on the other side. One of the voices was definitely Lissa, but the other voice I couldn't distinguish at first. It turned out I didn't need to; I found myself being plunged into Lissa's head and the sight I saw quite literally froze me. It was definitely Lissa, and she was getting hot and steamy with another guy. But the guy wasn't Christian, it was Dimitri.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

This couldn't be happening, I had to be having a nightmare right? What I'm seeing is just an allusion, one of my biggest fears. Lissa wouldn't do this to me; _Dimitri _wouldn't do this to me.

After everything we had gone through, I thought the angst was finally over. I thought I would be able to say "Dimitri and I have finally had the happy ending we both deserve; I've got the best and closest friends a girl could wish for – Lissa, Christian, Adrian, Eddie and Mia." But no.

First I find out that Adrian is in prison for the murder of Queen Tatiana, something in which I'm convinced he was framed for; Dimitri comes along and is being iffy about Adrian, same goes for Lissa: both believing that Adrian, who was drunk most of the time anyway, was capable of murdering someone, particularly the one moroi he doted on more than anyone; but here comes the biggest piece of cake: Christian tries to open my eyes to what Dimitri is really like, that he isn't the dhampir he makes himself out to be and I threw it all back in Christian's face. Why? Because I love Dimitri so much and I didn't think he would want to hurt me the way he obviously has. What Christian failed to mention was that Lissa would also break my heart...

When I was back inside my own head, it was then that I couldn't hold the tears anymore; I cried and cried, and I knew I wasn't being quiet because I saw fellow moroi coming out of their dorms to see what was going on; that wasn't the worst of it though. The worst was when I could sense Lissa realising something was up outside her door and untangled herself from Dimitri, as she walked over and opened it, to see me standing there with black blotches around my eyes from where my mascara had run, and red eyes that might confuse people into thinking that I was a strigoi; she knew I knew what she had done.

"Rose I-" She stopped mid sentence as Dimitri appeared beside her, looking a mixture of embarrassment, sadness and shock.

"Roza." He said as he walked towards me, but I could feel myself moving backwards, I felt unaware I was moving as I felt so numb and the pain of seeing Lissa with Dimitri was just too much; I couldn't stop replaying the image of Lissa and Dimitri having sex; it was like a broken record. "Please come here. I can explain; please let me explain." He kept saying over and over, (at least I thought so, however it might have just been me replaying it in my head repeatedly) but I couldn't listen, I just _couldn't._ It was then that I saw Christian walking towards us from the corner of my eye.

"What's going on here?" He asked coolly, looking at us one at a time until his eyes rested on me. He took in my blotchy and red eyes, Dimitri now only inches away from me and Lissa looking terrified. He knew something was up; in fact, I would say he knew what this was all about. Or, he didn't know what this was about _specifically, _but knew it obviously had to do with me.

"You okay Rose?" He asked me softly.

"Do I look alright to you? I've just found my boyfriend shagging my best friend; how would _you _feel?" I could see the pain smudging his eyes; I immediately wished I could take it back.

"Go away Christian. We can handle this, you don't need to be here." Dimitri told Christian in a dark voice, making me realise tenfold how much I wanted Christian to _stay._ He couldn't leave me with this, this..._monster _and his bitch. He had to protect me from them; I had to acknowledge to myself the fact that I always tried to portray to the world how I didn't need to be looked after, I could stand on my own two feet and the only person who could make me feel better was me. That was until Dimitri came into my life. Now I wished he had never entered it in the first place.

Christian obviously could tell I didn't want to be left alone with Dimitri and Lissa, from the angst and pleading in my eyes and he walked over to stand next to me. "Why don't you to just leave Rose alone? Don't you think you've caused her enough damage? Look, I don't know what this is about, but it's obviously something serious for Rose to be feeling like she is." When it looked like Dimitri wasn't going to listen, it was then that I saw how Christian's body stiffened and how Dimitri's stiffened in return – out of fear or anger I wasn't sure. Although I was pretty sure it was out of anger, because Dimitri didn't do fear; well, he didn't do fear when it involved Christian. The only time I had ever really seen Dimitri scared was after he turned into a dhampir again after being a strigoi for so long. I should have noticed the closeness between Dimitri and Lissa even since he changed back; I couldn't believe how much of a fool I've been. Thinking about how he refused to see me out of fear of what he had put me through was probably just an excuse to keep me away from finding out about the secret affair he was having with Lissa; but then, why didn't he get back with me?

I watched as Christian cleared the space that separated him and Dimitri, and poked his finger into Dimitri's chest. "If you don't leave now, I'm going to make sure you're in that cell that Adrian shouldn't be in. You got that?" He said to Dimitri, but there wasn't an ounce of fear trailing off Dimitri; in fact, he looked like he _enjoyed _it.

"What, the guy that murdered the Queen?" Dimitri replied in a jokey voice that didn't fit into this conversation. I was shocked to hear this from Dimitri, from the guy I had been used to hearing speak softly, being vulnerable; this wasn't the guy I knew. I didn't like him. "You know what, fine; I will go. I'm not standing here listening to this freak show." He said in a voice leaking with sarcasm, half the sentence directed at Christian, the other at Lissa. As he turned to go, he looked at me one final time. "We will speak later Roza." He told me; like I wanted to see him ever again.

As I watched him walk away, I heard Christian say under his breath "Hell hath no fury than a woman scorned." I wasn't sure what he meant by that, but I guessed he was referring to me; whether that was a good thing or a bad thing, I wasn't so sure. To stop me from thinking about it, I turned to Lissa who was still standing there, like she was waiting for me or Christian to give her some direction.

"What are you still doing here, you selfish bitch?" I asked her, my voice laced with ice that I saw give Lissa the chills. It was the first time since finding Dimitri and Lissa having sex that I saw the look of fear in Lissa's eyes. I didn't know why it was there: she didn't deserve this fear; she had brought it all on herself. However, I also realised what I had just said. Technically, I was outside Lissa's dorm, not the other way round. Before I was able to receive the reply off Lissa, I stormed off, trying not to listen to the hushed conversation between the moroi in other dorms who had seen the mental fracas taking place in the hall. I'd forgotten they had been there.

I didn't walk back to my room. My mind felt like a hundred clouds were blocking out my thoughts and I was glad of it: having a blurry mind was much better than thinking about the truth.

I walked around the grounds in a haze, trying not to think about anything; thinking involved Dimitri, Lissa, Adrian, and Christian, something I wasn't ready to face yet, if ever; however, I was only able to hold this up for a couple of minutes before memories flooded my brain, mainly of the happy times with Dimitri.

I remembered when Dimitri was teaching me how to fight as a dhampir guard and how much I took his advice to heart. I was desperate to be Lissa's guardian, more than anything else in the world. I had promised her parents and they had promised me, saying that I was the only person in their personal opinion who was suitable to be Lissa's guardian. They had seen how close Lissa and I had been since we had first met at the age of four. All I had ever done was protect Lissa; rarely did I think about my own needs. Dimitri was great at showing me the basic guardian training I had forgotten in the two years Lissa and I had been on the run from the moroi world. Once we had moved onto the harder moves, it was then that I started to fall in love with Dimitri and vice versa. I knew he was falling in love with me because the chemistry between us was electrifying and never did I doubt the heat and tenderness that reflected in his eyes when he looked at me. The first time I had pressed my lips against his had felt like a breakthrough in a life I had always felt was more like static than exciting; Dimitri had opened the door that allowed me to feel excited again; I think I did the same in return as well.

About an hour later, Christian found me in my room staring blankly at the television screen I had obtained from my father Abe. I didn't look up as he entered because I knew it was him and I didn't want to speak to anyone and surprisingly, mostly him.

"Rose, look at me please." He pleaded with me for the second time that day. I looked at the clock and saw that it was actually quarter past twelve in the morning, which meant actually, the second time in my life. I tried to ignore him, but after a while of hearing his pleading voice, I decided I might as well face (part) of the music. When he saw me looking at him, he speed walked to the edge of my bed, so that he was sitting next to me. From looking at his expression, he showed that he was both worried about me and relieved I was finally acknowledging he was in the room.

"I don't want to speak to anyone Christian, it hurts too much to think about it." I said to him, trying out my own pleading voice to see if he would get the hint and leave me alone. It didn't work.

"What, so you can mope around here and not face the problem in hand? Rose, can you honestly look me in the eye and tell me you will ever be ready to think about it? One of the hardest things in life is being able to deal with issues that can break our heart; but we have to deal with it, otherwise it will be like a piece of glass slowly breaking into a million pieces until you can't fix it anymore. You have to think about it now Rose, otherwise it will become worse. By thinking about it now makes you a brave person." I wasn't actually sure how to reply to this. I had never heard anyone say something so blunt out true before. The only people who had ever given me good advice before had been Dimitri and Lissa and I doubt I would be asking anything of them again. Besides, their advice felt shallow to the unexpected piece of advice about opening up and dealing with what I felt was a problem, which I had received from Christian.

"What did you say to Lissa?" I asked him; this time I saw him pale in front of my eyes, like the truth was not something I wanted to hear. However, wasn't finding your best friend shagging your boyfriend one of the worst things to happen?

"She-she filled me in on what I missed. She said that you were freaking out and acting jealous because Dimitri was there and all she was doing was giving him advice on how to make his relationship with you a successful one." Lissa lied to him? I shouldn't be surprised. Lissa's new personality, one that could have always been there but I was just too naive to see, was starting to shape out to be something I despised.

"But I told you while we were all there that Dimitri and Lissa had been having sex! Why would I lie about something like that? You even said Dimitri wasn't what I thought! I saw it all in my head when I was sucked into Lissa's mind. Believe me, it wasn't something I enjoyed seeing!" I remember hours ago when Christian tried to tell me that Dimitri wasn't Dimka: sweet, adorable and romantic guy but really was _Dimitri: _hard faced, selfish and evil guy; how the tables had turned so suddenly.

"Exactly what you just said! 'I saw it all in my head'! Rose, what you saw is just something you _wanted _to see. Face it: If anyone around here was likely to sleep with their best friend's boyfriend, it would be you." It was then that I realised that Christian had to be off his head; this wasn't what Christian was about; whether he believed this or not, he would always keep it to himself. He wouldn't want to hurt anyone, especially one of his closest friends. No longer thinking about my own problems, I thought that maybe Lissa had compelled him, but then I dismissed the idea. Was Lissa that powerful that she could compel a fellow moroi? Either way, when I had heard that sentence from Christian it was like a slap to the face. Christian was a very complicated moroi: sometimes he was easy to read, other times he wasn't.

Anyway, the fact remained that whether Christian believed it or not, what I saw was _definitely _Lissa and Dimitri having sex, something that would haunt me to my dying days. It wasn't in my head, the fact that the two culprits more or less admitted it in front of me, some of it while _Christian _was there...

"Christian, why are you being like this? Basically what you've just said is that I'm a common slut. Not to mention the fact that you were there when the coversation about whether or not Dimitri and Lissa slept together was discussed. You _heard _me say they had slept together. You-" I cut myself off when I realised that nor Lissa or Dimitri had mentioned what I had seen; only I had mentioned it as I acted hysterically.

I looked up at Christian who looked down at me in a mixture of pity and sadness. "Rose, come on! The amount of moroi you've let taste your blood!" When he saw the look on my face I could tell he instantly regretted saying that. It didn't stop him from breaking that spell and putting me in further misery though. "When I said Dimitri wasn't what or who you think, I meant that he was the one who killed Tatiana. It wasn't Adrian; Dimitri framed him."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

I looked at Christian like I hadn't looked at anyone before; I looked at him with pity in my eyes. Dimitri had slept with my best friend, one of the worst things that had ever happened to me. He had also not seemed to care that Adrian had been put in a jail cell for the Queen's murder and would be standing in trail in a couple of days; same went for Lissa as well: she hadn't seemed to care either.

However, I also knew this was beyond anything that Dimitri had and would ever do. I doubt after everything he himself had been through, falling in love with me, being turned into a strigoi, being turned back into a dhampir by Lissa, being put in a cell because moroi/dhampirs didn't trust him enough to allow him to walk free, would turn him into someone who thought it was okay to frame someone, especially a teenager, for something as serious as this.

I watched as Christian's eyes narrowed at my refusal to believe this latest piece of news. I found the whole situation ironic. I knew that Christian had been telling the truth in a way when he had told me that Dimitri wasn't the dhampir I had always believed him to be, but this just couldn't be true; I _wouldn't _believe it.

"Rose listen- Actually, it doesn't matter. I went through this once with you, I'm not going through it again." With that he stormed out of my room, leaving me speechless. I decided not to follow him, because I knew what he was feeling, whether I believed him or not. It still hurt to see him leave, but we could discuss it later; my friendship with Christian was too important to me to screw it up over a silly lie. Instead, I decided to see what Lissa was up to, seeing as I could still see inside her head, never mind our latest erm... disagreements.

I found Lissa just arriving at the cells where they were holding Adrian. She was wearing a silky silver dress which ended at her thighs and as per usual, made her look gorgeous. I obviously couldn't see her face, as I was looking through her eyes, but seeing the dress was clear because Lissa and me I suppose, kept looking down to see this rather expensive dress. I wondered why Lissa was dressing up; she puzzled me sometimes.

The guards at the doors looked at her with a mixture of lust and respect as they let her in and led her to Adrian's cell. Once there, they left her to speak to Adrian. Adrian had seen her immediately and had already made his way to the front of his cell to see and speak to her.

"Hi Adrian, are you okay?" She asked him, in a calm and cool voice that I had never heard before, it was like poison had sneaked its way into her voice; well, it felt like my voice considering it was me looking through her eyes at Adrian. On closer inspection, Adrian looked awful. He had large bags under his eyes and all I could think was that he looked ill and miserable. Adrian, who was only two years older than me, being twenty years old, looked way older. I desperately wanted to see him and give him a hug. I knew I still needed to see him, but with the latest traumas in my life, Adrian had completely by pasted my mind; I felt like such a bad friend, but I knew I would make it up to him when I could. It broke my heart to see someone I was so close to look so depressed.

"Like you care, you sneaky bitch. Why don't you just get out of here? I'm miserable enough without you adding to it with your fake sympathy and caring nature." His voice was laced with anger.

"Come on Adrian! It's hardly my fault. You kinda brought it on yourself." Lissa replied with humour in her voice, and being inside her head I could feel that this was exactly what she thought of this whole situation.

"We slept together _months _ago Lissa! Why was he so mad about it? It's in the past, something I deeply regret and never want to think about again." I saw how is voice seemed to be on the verge of breaking, and he looked like he was going to cry. I wanted to comfort him so badly. Hearing that they had slept together was news to me and I knew it would be something I had to confront Lissa, Adrian, or both of them about, but I knew I had to deal with things one at a time.

"He's just protective of me that's all. Since the change... he's been very loving towards me, when he found out that you err took advantage of me, he flipped and knew he had someone to take his or more appropriately, Rose's, place in jail. It helped Rose from going down for the murder she didn't commit and stopped him from going down for the murder he did commit." Being in Lissa's head, it made me feel sick to think that Lissa would feel happy about any of this.

"But-but I don't deserve to be here. Everyone knows I wouldn't want to hurt, _especially _kill Tatiana. Plus I didn't take advantage of you, you were the one that offered it me on a plate!" He had a pleading note in his voice now and well as pain at this horrible situation.

"Dimitri doesn't need to know that." She paused and I felt her wink at him and in return get a look of disgust. "Also, why are you in a jail cell if people knew how much you adored the Queen? I will tell you why: because although fellow moroi know you probably wouldn't be the one responsible, the only way to make everyone feel safe is to know the criminal has been caught and punished. Both you and Rose were the ones that got in the cross fire, just that Rose was lucky enough to have someone who still cared about her looking out for her."

"What? Dimitri? Tell me: does Rose know that you two are sleeping together or that Dimitri was the one that killed Tatiana and would have happily left her to rot in this cell if I hadn't come into focus?" I couldn't listen to anymore, it was becoming too much. I quickly plunged myself out of Lissa's head and went to sleep in my bed trying not to think about the events I had just seen and heard through Lissa's eyes.

The next day I knew I had to speak to Christian, to apologize _again. _He had been nothing but honest to me, and I had thrown it back into his face. The only thing that bothered me was that he didn't believe me when I said that I had seen Dimitri and Lissa sleep together through Lissa's eyes. Whether that was down to loving Lissa too much or being a bad judge of character, I didn't know.

I also knew I had to go and see Adrian. I knew I had to see him ever since finding out he was in a jail cell for killing someone he hadn't killed, but since what I saw through Lissa's eyes last night, my desire to see him had been increased a lot. He had looked like he was on death's door and it wasn't a look I liked or was familiar with when I looked at Adrian. Sure, he was annoying, but he was also one of my best friends and his cocky nature and drunken ways were a part of him; seeing him look like the death reaper was not a look that suited him.

When I was outside Christian's door, I knocked and came face to face with Lissa in one of Christian's shirts. She smirked at me and said: "Hey Rose, wasn't expecting to see you here. Come to join the fun?" Which was obviously said sarcastically; Christian then appeared beside her. To be honest, I was actually quite shocked to see them together. Not because of everything that had happened, but because I usually ended up in Lissa's head when she was about to have sex with Christian. Thank god I didn't this time; but then, I wasn't sure whether being shocked at seeing her there was a good thing or a bad thing. However, Christian looked as shocked as I had at seeing Lissa, when he saw I was the one standing at his dorm door.

"Rose! What are you doing here?" He asked, as he put his arm around Lissa's waist. I watched as Lissa rested her head against his stomach; I found myself feeling a bit jealous when I saw this.

"I wanted to speak to you about what you told me yesterday." I told him.

"Sure, you can tell me now. I'm sure Lissa would be interested to hear what you have to say as well." He said to me and he _had _to be kidding me. I watched as he gazed adoringly at Lissa after saying this statement. It made me want to puke.

"Okay if you wish. I poked into Lissa's head and found out you were telling the truth: Dimitri _is _the one that killed the Queen and he _did _frame Adrian. I came to apologize for not believing you." Both Christian and Lissa looked at me in stunned silence. I think Lissa was the most shocked though. Her earlier smirk had now vanished from her face, and she had gone pale. She looked a bit like Adrian now, she looked so ill. Except the difference was that she deserved to feel like she did, Adrian didn't. It also reminded me of the fact that her and Christian had been dating for just over six months now, which meant that Lissa hadn't just cheated on him with Dimitri, she had with Adrian as well. Not to mention the other guys she had probably slept with that Christian and I didn't know about. Lissa was such a slut. Christian didn't deserve this; I mean, Adrian didn't deserve what he was going through now, but he still slept with Lissa while she was still with Christian and because of that, once this mess was sorted out, and I had convinced myself it would be, I would be giving Adrian a grilling about it.

Eventually, Lissa was the one that broke the silence. "What are you talking about Rose?" She asked me, faking surprise and shock at not "knowing" that Dimitri had killed the Queen. "Adrian is the one that killed the Queen, that's why he's behind bars."

"Did you believe that when I was in that cell?" I asked her in return.

"No but Rose, there is a lot more significant and important evidence that's stacked up against Adrian."

"Actually, you're lying there Lissa, you _know _Dimitri killed Adrian, stop lying for god's sake." Christian came into our conversation in a voice filled with anger.

"Not you as well Christian! What's wrong with you two? Can't you see that Adrian is guilty?" It was then that Dimitri appeared out of nowhere.

"What's going on here?" He asked as he joined our group. I saw Christian stiffen at Dimitri's approach and I knew we were in dangerous territory; something bad was going to happen, I could feel it.

Before anyone else could speak, I spoke up first. "Oh, we were just talking about how you killed Queen Tatiana and framed Adrian, so nothing much." I said, even to my own ears hearing how sarcastic I sounded. However, it worked in making him stiffen just like Christian had before. The difference was, Dimitri didn't look angry with Christian but looked angry at _me._

"Roza, why do you have to try to cause a problem with everything? It's like you damage everything you touch. I can't believe I ever loved you." He told me in a thickly accented Russian voice, and although I knew what a monster he was, hearing him making me out to be some sort of bitch and someone who was stupid was like being stabbed repeatedly in the stomach; probably worse.

As I felt tears streaming down my face, unable to speak, I felt Christian move away from Lissa and stand next to me; he put his arm around me. "That's enough Dimitri. I don't know why you're being like this, but we both know that you killed Queen Tatiana _and _in cold blood just because she refused to let you become a fully fledged guardian again. If anyone round here needs a tongue lashing it would be you, not Rose."

I watched as Dimitri turned from looking at me and looked Christian straight in the face. "Do you know that Lissa and I have been sleeping together as well? We've been getting it on every chance we get." He said as he smirked at Christian's look of pain. Before I had a chance to speak to solve this very heated discussion, Christian launched himself at Dimitri and punched him repeatedly until they both fell to the floor. Christian wasn't as strong as Dimitri though, due to the fact that Dimitri had a lot more training than him and it was Christian that was nearly in a position to pass out right before my eyes.

"STOP!" I screamed, but no one was listening to me. I felt Lissa trying to pull me into Christian's room, but I shrugged her off and before I knew it I was in the fight between Dimitri and Christian. It wasn't easy trying to split them apart, especially because Dimitri was a lot stronger than me, having had more years of experience in battle but I managed to do it. Christian looked very bloody from the punches and kicks he had endured from Dimitri. As for Dimitri, apart from being able to see a purple bruise beginning to form around his eye, he looked mostly unharmed.

I turned around to look at Lissa then, who having seen that the fight had finished, had come back to the door entrance looking both relieved and terrified; she was probably waiting to see what Christian would say having heard from the horse's mouth what she had been getting up to behind his back. "I hope you're happy with yourself Lissa; look at what you've caused." I told her, as I began dragging Christian away from the scene, in the direction of the hospital section in court. I didn't look to see what Dimitri's or Lissa's expressions would be like, but then, I had gone past caring what they thought of me. Well, that's how I felt when looking at the mess Christian was in; it just fuelled my anger.

Neither me nor Christian spoke as we walked to hospital and once we were there, a nurse led Christian away and I was left standing there in the reception area, so I left.

I decided that it was worth a try to go and see Adrian, to see if he looked any better than when I saw him through Lissa's eyes yesterday. I doubted it, but I had to try and see him anyway; his trial was tomorrow and if he was found guilty, he would be hung to death and then I would never know what went on in that cocky head of his again. The thought depressed me and it wasn't a good feeling.

As I walked towards where the cells were, I saw Lissa starting to walk up to me. She didn't look happy for once and looked worried (probably about herself, she didn't seem to care about anyone else) but tried to hide it under a mask called her face.

"Rose! Wait!" She said to me, as I began to walk a bit faster, to be able to get away from her. "Please hold up!" But I wasn't listening. I walked faster still, until I was nearly running, until I managed to get to the doors of the entrance hall to the cells, and Lissa had finally given up and walked away.

Inside, I looked at the dull looking grey walls and unhappy looking moroi working in there. It looked exactly how it had when I had last been there, being dragged to the door at the end, which led to the rows and rows of cells; it wasn't filled with sunshine in here, put it that way.

The moroi behind the desk, Bill was his name, from what I saw on his name tag, looked up when I approached. "Hello Rose, wasn't expecting to see you here so soon." He said with a smirk on his face. "What can I do for you? Are you looking for a cell to rent out?" He said and obviously finding his little joke funny, laughed.

"Actually, I was hoping I would be able to see Adrian. It's his trail tomorrow and I don't know whether I will be able to speak to him again after it."

He hesitated and for a moment I thought I would have to go on the floor and beg him to let me see him for maybe the last time. "Okay. He hasn't said he wouldn't see you, so I think it's allowed." He nodded towards the guards guarding the end door and I took it as my quay to go there so they could open it and allow me in the room full of secrets holding Adrian. I would see him and then watch him face a charge he wasn't involved with.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

When I saw Adrian it literally made my heart stop for a second. Seeing him in there, looking both clueless and terrified, put me on edge and nervous. If Adrian, one of the only moroi I knew who always portrayed to the world how he was confident and happy, even if he wasn't, was looking like it was the end of the world then something had to be wrong. I walked up to his cell and although he didn't see me at first, when he did, he slowly walked to the front of the cell.

When Dimitri had been turned into a strigoi, I had wanted to take that pain away, to not feel it anymore, and when Adrian had told me he was in love with me, I had lunged on that and made sure we became a couple. We only lasted for a month because although I loved Adrian, I wasn't _in _love with him as much as I tried to be. I knew I would be living up to this bitch status a lot of moroi and dhampirs had given me. Breaking up with him was one of the hardest things I have ever done, seeing the dumbstruck and heartbroken look on his face isn't something anyone expects nor wants to see from Adrian. I suppose it must have been sometime after that that Adrian had slept with Lissa; I had to ask him about that.

"Hi Adrian, are you okay?" I could hear my voice start to break; I was on the verge of tears. It amazed my how all through my short eighteen years of life, I had been a very strong dhampir and didn't need to cry, and I always tried to suppress it and pulled my mental pain to the back of my head. However, over the past six months, since Dimitri was turned into a strigoi and the problems since, I haven't been able to suppress it. I have become way more sensitive than I liked.

"Rose, what are you doing here? You shouldn't be here. You _can't _be here. I need to know you're safe." He replied in turn to my question. That was one of the things that had always annoyed me about Adrian: his ability to turn a question into another question.

"I came to see you obviously. Your trail is tomorrow and I don't know whether or not I will be able to see you again afterwards. Adrian, I just have to be clear about this: Dimitri framed you right?" I asked him. Of course I knew the truth, but it was always better to hear it from the horse's mouth.

"Yes." His voice was filled with angst and I couldn't stand it. I wished that there was a way to stop him from going down for the murder he didn't commit, but I wasn't even sure how. Dimitri had already more or less proven that he wouldn't come forward and _he _was the one that had framed Adrian in the first place! Sometimes it sucked when people relied on you to be the mastermind in a situation like this. All I knew was that I had to give Adrian my support, it's the only thing I had.

"I don't know how to help you Adrian. I wish I did but-" Adrian cut me off with a moving speech of his own.

"Rose listen; I didn't kill Tatiana, I swear I didn't. But at the end of the day, maybe I'm being punished anyway. I slept with Lissa because I was so heartbroken when you dumped me; I know that's no excuse, but I wasn't thinking straight at the time. I hate myself for doing that, for sleeping with someone who has a loving boyfriend all ready. But she handed it me on a plate and I hadn't been aware that she fancied me till now anyway. She kept coming to my dorm room after we had had sex and all I could do was refuse. Lissa doesn't like being refused, she likes guys swarming around her all the time. Eventually, a month ago Dimitri found out about Lissa and I having sex; he didn't like it because he was her latest squeeze and he felt like he was angry enough that she was still with Christian and shagging him. Add me to the equation and he's _furious._" I turned off for a minute when he mentioned Lissa and Christian sleeping together. I mean, I know they're dating and have for a while now, but lately the mention of Lissa and Christian together makes me feel nauseous.

"I wanted to ask you about that actually. I guess you can read minds now." I said, laughing nervously when Adrian gave me a puzzled look. I explained to him about how I had followed the conversation he had had with Lissa when she came to visit him the previous day. I told him it was how I had finally accepted it was Dimitri that had killed the Queen and he had framed Adrian. I told him how I had known all along that Adrian wasn't capable of murder, particularly the murder of Queen Tatiana; I just wasn't sure who the murderer actually _was _until now. I had refused to believe it was Dimitri.

It didn't feel like I was there for that long, speaking to Adrian and telling him how ill he looked and how when this was all over we would have to get him to a doctor and then we would have to go camping or something (he laughed at this and said there was _no way _he would go camping with me again) and we talked about all the fond memories we had together. I was thankful to Adrian that in the short time we dated, he had made me feel like the most special girl in the world; sure, I wasn't in love with him, but when you feel like your heart is breaking, friends are there to help pick up the pieces and make you feel happy again, like it's worth the risk of finding love and joy in the future again.

I had only been speaking to Adrian for about an hour, seeing his once dead reaper persona turn back into a _little _of the old Adrian that I loved, when I was told I had to leave now. I tried to hug Adrian through the bars as much as I could, I think I nearly squeezed him to death, but then he was doing the same in return when I turned around and quickly walked to the doors which would lead me out of the cells area. I couldn't see his last look before I left; it would probably make me refuse to leave and make me feel heartbroken again.

The following day was the day I dreaded: Adrian's trail; this would be the day that would either make or break Adrian. I tried to convince myself that Adrian would be found not guilty, but there was always this tiny part of me that dreaded that the outcome would be that he would have to be hung; I hoped this wouldn't be the case.

I dressed in a sophisticated black dress which I had borrowed from my mother; before you say 'Why would she wear clothes from her MOTHER?', everything I own wouldn't have been suitable for the trial; I would probably end up being charged for not wearing enough pieces of clothing or something. My mother on the other hand, has been to a lot of trails and funerals (I dread to think who's funeral) as part of her job and so had clothes available for me to wear; I had told her to buy me a new black dress for the trail, but she refused on the grounds that it was too much money. Sometimes mum's were a real pain in the butt.

When I arrived, I found Christian already there. We both sat together in one of the end lanes, with Eddie and Mia, who had arrived to see the fate of our best friend as well. Dimitri was in the witness stand along with Lissa and a few other moroi and dhampirs I didn't recognise.

I watched in silence as the judge named all the "evidence" that stacked up against Adrian, who I saw standing with a scared expression on his face not that far from me, with two guards near him and his lawyer, which was the Ivashcov's family lawyer and Adrian's mother's cousin, and then pointed to Dimitri to share why he was a witness and then to Lissa to do the same. It went on for a lot longer than I had expected and near to the end, when I knew that the results of whether he was going to be found guilty or not were closing in, I felt Christian next to me squeeze my hand; it wasn't the biggest comfort in the world, but knowing there was someone there that (sorta) shared my pain or was at least willing to give me some support because they knew how much Adrian meant to me, was a real comfort. It put my mind at ease a mini bit.

Just before we would find out the results, we were all allowed to get a drink, have a bite to eat or just go to the toilet. However, the break would only last ten minutes and I was too on edge and nervous about Adrian's fate to care about food, drink or needing the toilet. Christian however, was thirsty so went to get a drink.

Fifteen minutes past and although Christian wasn't back here to give me his support again, Eddie and Mia were still there and I felt Mia put her arm around me and give my shoulder a squeeze of reassurance. Whether I needed it or not, I didn't know.

I watched as the decider of finding the "culprit" guilty or not stood up to either relieve our pain or make it worse.

The judge asked "Do you find Adrian Ivashcov guilty or not guilty for the murder of the late Queen, Queen Tatiana?" She asked the decider in her sharp voice.

I waited for what felt like ages until I received the dreaded news. "We find him GUILTY."

After that everything went by in a blur. I watched as the guards dragged Adrian away to prepare him for the death he didn't deserve and I felt Christian trying to pull me out of the court room; Christian had just arrived when they had made Adrian guilty. I knew he found it hard at first to drag me away because I was a strong person and I didn't give up easily. Plus I was in so much shock that even I myself felt like a statue.

Once I was out of the hall, all I could do was burst into tears. I felt Christian's arms circle around me and I leaned my head into his chest. I had never cried like this before in my life. Sure, I had cried more in the past few months than I had _ever _cried in a life time, but this was too much; I hadn't even cried as much when I had found Dimitri and Lissa having sex! Thinking about that made my anger come to the surface as well. It was _their _fault that Adrian was about to die for killing someone he hadn't. _They _were the ones that had framed him; I wanted to kill them just like they had killed Adrian. After all, they might as well have put a knife through Adrian's chest and killed him themselves.

It was at that moment that Dimitri and Lissa walked out of the court room to face my fury. I pulled away from Christian and lunged myself at them; this caused Lissa to fall to the floor and me to have a hurt hand when Dimitri didn't even move from the place he stood in. "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" I screamed in pain and anger as Dimitri stayed where he was, looking at me with a look of indifference. I think that was the worst of it; the fact that he didn't seem to care either way whether Adrian died or not. I kept slapping him on the chest anyway, knowing it wasn't hurting him, until Christian pulled me off him and dragged me away. At first I resisted, but then I couldn't be bothered with fighting anymore. One of my best and closest friends was going to be dead in an hour or two and I wouldn't be able to see him to say goodbye or _anything._ All I could promise him, without telling him, was that I would do my best to avenge him. Dimitri and Lissa would pay for what they have done. I wouldn't allow them to have a nice fairy tale ending where Dimitri isn't accused of anything and moroi and dhampirs still think Lissa is a cute little princess. I couldn't allow this to happen, I felt like my life _depended _on it.

I must have been in so much pain that Christian felt that lifting me up was like carrying a bag of candy floss, as he picked me up and put me on my bed in my room. Once I was lying there, all I did was stare at the ceiling, trying not to think about all the mental pain I was in. Adrian was going to _die _and he didn't deserve it. There was nothing, absolutely _nothing, _I could do.

I felt Christian come and sit beside me on my bed and after not moving for a further five minutes, I laid my head against his chest. He started stroking my hair, murmuring 'It's okay, it's okay...' over and over, although I knew it wasn't okay. How could it be okay when someone was going to be hung for doing something they hadn't actually done? Also, to make matters worse, this person was _framed _and was _my _best friend. I didn't know how I was ever going to get over it.

An hour must have passed before I realised I had been sleeping (and drooling) on Christian's chest. I quickly sat up and looked at Christian who I saw must have fallen asleep around the same time as me. However, he must have sensed I had woken up because I watched as his eyes slowly opened and took him in with my hair probably looking a complete mess. He smiled slowly and I smiled in return, until I remembered that Adrian was about to, if not already, be killed.

I didn't want to think about it though. Pain and I just weren't right in the same sentence, I had gone through a lot of it already in such a short space of time and anymore would probably make me die here on my bed. Eek, I mentioned 'die' and that brought up Adrian. I started to cry again.

I felt Christian wrap his arms around me again, but this time I resisted. I didn't want _anyone's _arms around me anymore. Instead, I reached and kissed him full on the mouth. I was expecting him to respond, and us ending up having a make out session here on my bed, that would possibly lead to more things, but it didn't work out that way. Christian pulled away before I had a chance to further the kiss. "No Rose, not when you're like this. I can't." It felt like I was being rejected again. I couldn't stand it. I quickly picked myself up off my bed and rushed to my door to leave my room and Christian, as well as my humiliation behind. I heard Christian shouting out "No Rose, come back!" but I wouldn't listen; embarrassment and pain will do that to a dhampir.

I went to my favourite place in the grounds and sat undo a massive tree. I gazed at the sky, which was a dull grey with clouds, which reflected my horrible mood, when I saw Mia walking towards me with an expression on her face I didn't ever want to see again.

"Rose, I have something to tell you." She said to me, once she was under the tree as well.

"What is it?" I replied in a voice which I could feel breaking. I knew I was about to break down again.

"It's Adrian. He's-he's" I could tell that Mia wanted to cry as well "He's been hung Rose. Adrian's dead."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Adrian is dead. Adrian is dead. Adrian is dead.

No matter how many times I said it in my head, I just couldn't process it. He _couldn't _be dead. I sat where I was for what seemed like hours. After Mia had told me this heartbreaking news, news I knew I was expecting but still felt like a blow to my stomach when she told me, I just shut down. I couldn't cry, I couldn't speak; for once in my life I felt like there was no point. After a while, I knew Mia gave up trying to make me open up because I saw her scramble up from her seating position and walk away with some bitterness. Not long afterwards, I saw Christian running towards me with a determined stride.

"Rose! We've been so worried about you. Come on, you need some rest or a drink or something." He said to me. I was surprised to see myself getting up to face him. He put his arm around my shoulders and I let him lead me to wherever we were going. If I was being honest, all I felt was numb. I found myself in the court's main cafeteria and was soon seated at an end table, where I saw Eddie and Mia already seated. When I had walked in, I had seen rather than heard that everywhere had gone very quiet. Moroi and dhampirs were obviously curious as to what my reaction would be and whether I looked happy or not; they had seen how hysterical I had been in Adrian's trail and then afterwards when I had caused the mini fracas with Dimitri and Lissa.

When I looked over at Eddie and Mia sitting opposite me, I hadn't realised until this moment the looks they gave each other; they weren't those people gave to acquaintances or friends/best friends, but the ones that people gave to the people they fancied or were in love with. On closer inspection, I guessed they probably just fancied each other like crazy. That was the good thing about being in so much pain you felt like you might not be able to breathe eventually: it made you more observant of other people, because it stopped you from looking at your own problems and made you focus on someone else's.

There was silence at our table for a couple of minutes, as Christian went to retrieve a drink of water for me and something to eat for him. When he turned, he placed a glass of water in front of me, along with a plate of fries. "What is this?" I asked him. I wasn't hungry and someone buying it especially for me wasn't going to change my mind.

"I think that's pretty obvious Rose. You need something to eat. I understand you're upset, I mean we all are. What happened should never have happened but that doesn't stop the fact that you _need to eat._" He empathised the last three words to express the importance of what he felt I should be doing.

"I said, I don't want this damn fries." I said as I shoved the plate away from me and I watched as it landed in Mia's lap. She looked down in shock, then back up at me with a look of humiliation and hurt on her face. Eddie beside her looked furious. I also realised that the whole room had gone quiet again; it was at this point that I realised I couldn't stay here anymore. I know I had upset both Mia and Eddie, probably Christian as well and that it was safe to say I wasn't Dimitri's girlfriend anymore, or Lissa's best friend, which made me feel worse. I scrambled out of my chair and stormed out of the room, hearing whispers all the way down the corridor.

Before I had even managed to see my door which lead into my bedroom, Christian appeared beside me. "You shouldn't be on your own at a time like this. You need moroi and dhampirs who care about you and ones that know what you're going through. Eddie and Mia back there, know that you're upset and they're not mad. None of us are. Just _let us in._" Christian said to me, just as I was stood outside my bedroom door, key in hand. I opened it and Christian walked in before I had a chance to. I walked in afterwards.

"I'm sorry about the fries Christian. I'm _sorry."_ I burst into tears again and once again felt Christian's arms circling my waist. It felt good to feel his hands there. I know I cried for a long time, because eventually I felt Christian pull me onto my bed and I rested my head on his chest, until soon my tears died down.

"Rose, can I ask you something?" Christian asked me sheepishly.

"Okay sure." I replied, wondering what this was about.

"Were you in love with Adrian?" He asked me to my astonishment. I didn't understand why he was asking me this. I know I hadn't been in love with Adrian because I had dumped him _because _I wasn't, but hearing someone asking me this question, particularly Christian who I had already discussed this with, was a complete shock.

"Of course I wasn't! I never have! Why are you asking me this?" I returned in a voice completely off course.

"Okay okay," He said, waving his arms in the air, "I was just asking because of how heartbroken you seem. It's like you're not grieving for your best friend, but for the lover you've lost in such a cruel way. I'm not saying it's wrong to grieve so badly for your best friend, but like I said..." His voice trailed off at realising he had started to waffle. His words got to me though. I mean, I had broken up with him because all I had felt when thinking of him, was those feelings we all had for our friends: purely platonic, like we had for a brother or sister or something.

At the time of our break up, I was still cut up about Dimitri turning into a strigoi to really think whether I had more feelings for Adrian than I had first originally thought. Maybe I had; the thought made my insides turn in, a pain worse than it was at first. What if questions kept flowing through my mind; I tried not to dwell on it.

"Listen Rose, I've been thinking." Oh that wasn't a good thing was it? "Why don't we get away from court for a few days? You need to go somewhere to clear your head of what's happened today and everything else as well. I sincerely think this is it. We could go anywhere you want. In fact, we could even leave America! Just for a few days that is." I wasn't sure. The last times I had been on "holiday" had turned out to be a disaster. I went to Russia on my own to try and kill the strigoi Dimitri and look how _that _turned out. The second time was in Las Vegas with Adrian, Lissa and Eddie, when we freed Victor from prison to retrieve information that could save Dimitri; that wasn't so successful either. But maybe...

"Okay that was a bad idea-" I held my hand up to indicate him to shut up for a minute. I actually felt that this was possibly what I needed. Today felt like it had gone on forever, what with Adrian's trial, him being found guilty and killed, all my crying, being humiliated. I could feel myself wanting to cry now, but I stopped myself. I knew my eyes were all red and puffy from the amount of crying I had already done, not to mention the fact that they were beginning to sting a bit. No, that wasn't going to help.

"Actually, maybe it's a good idea. I've always wanted to go to Ibiza, what do you think?" I smiled at him the best I could and he returned it with a sweet smile of his own.

"You're on!" He replied and before I knew what was happening, I was packing some belongings and Christian and I were rushing to the airport for our flight. Christian had managed to get us a couple of tickets for the flight only because two people had cancelled at the last minute for the flight we would be attending; talk about _luck._ Well, maybe not luck exactly with Adrian dying and all, but at least I _felt _like I was being lucky for once. I've always told moroi and dhampirs how I have always felt I was the most unlucky dhampir in the world. Maybe a bit of an exaggeration, but oh well.

Before the flight, we had to wait in the airport for what felt like ages, and when Christian went to get some chocolate (I always found it weird how moroi had to have blood to survive, but could eat chocolate afterwards. Yuk.) I found myself being hit on by a very good looking man that was probably ten years older than me. I didn't realise at first, but I soon did when I saw how he seemed to lean in closer to me (we were sitting next to each other near the entrance to wear my flight would depart) and then whispered something in my ear, something he wanted to _do _to me; it actually sounded quite good, but I wasn't a slut and I didn't know him. Also, with him obviously being _at least _ten years older than me, I didn't want to go there. I mean, look how it turned out with Dimitri and he was an older guy...

When Christian returned, eating his bar of chocolate, he had this weird look on his face when he saw how closely me and this stranger were sitting next to each other. If I didn't know better, I would say he didn't like it and he was probably _jealous._ That thought made me quite happy; it was the first time all day I could actually say I felt at least a mini bit happy after Adrian's earlier death.

Not that long after, we were called to board our flight. Both Christian and I were split up in the plane and were in opposite ends, so I wouldn't be seeing him until we landed in Ibiza. I found myself sandwiched between the good looking guy who had been trying to hit on me in the airport and a quiet, obviously book worm type woman next to the window who had already started to read a book that had about 700 pages.

The hot guy next to him obviously recognised me and began flirting with me even before the flight took off. Eventually, when he began to slide his hand up and down my leg, I knew I had had enough. "Please can you stop that now? I just want a peaceful trip; this is going to be a long journey. I'm not in the mood for flirting." I told him, seeing his annoyed stare.

"What got your knickers in a twist?" He asked me and I returned straight out with my reply, shocking him into silence.

"My best friend was killed today." I said with tears in my eyes, as I got my iPod out of my pocket and flipped to a sad song to reflect my mood, which turned out to be a love song called 'All the things she said.' I put the volume up to maximum which I knew was bothering both my partners beside me. Bookworm girl tried to turn her back to me to read her book and the guy who had previously tried to flirt with me was sighing heavily while trying to watch a movie he had paid for to watch after my dismissal of him. Just the way I liked it.

After the flight, I met Christian had the arrivals desk. We had ended up losing each other when we came off the flight because we were so far apart in the actual flight.

"Are you okay Rose?" Christian asked me with a look of concern. To be honest, I didn't like seeing it there. We had come to Ibiza to have fun and not think about real life and the things that were upsetting both of us. Adrian dying upset me the most, but I knew Lissa's betrayal hurt Christian more.

"You don't need to ask me that C. We're here to have fun. Let's not think about that." I said, my eyes burning with unshed tears. Christian decided to listen to me and with his suitcase in one hand; he grabbed my hand in the other. I had just stuffed some clothes in a duffel bag, and my duffel bag was on my back, so I was okay. What was weird was that strangers looking on would probably think Christian and I were boyfriend and girlfriend. I mean, I wasn't being big headed or anything, but we would be a damn _hot _couple if we were one.

"What are you thinking?" He asked me, bringing me out of my thoughts as we got in a taxi that began driving us to our hotel.

"Oh, nothing much." I replied with an 'up to no good' smile which I saw Christian smirk at.

The hotel we were staying at wasn't 5 stars or anything, but it was gorgeous anyway. As we had booked so late, Christian and I had to share a room, with a _double bed._ I wondered how we would decide who slept where, but I didn't want to think about that yet. I wanted to dump my stuff in my room, wear my hot purple dress and go clubbing with Christian. As Christian was a moroi, most of the flight had had to be in darkness for him because the flight we took was in daylight, so he had taken a lot of risk for me. I knew he would be tired, I mean I could feel the jetlag catching up with me already, but I wanted to make the most of the Ibiza clubs which the country was known for. I mean, it was the reason I had chosen here for our destination.

I told Christian of my plans and he seemed okay with it as I had a quick shower and put my dress on. I heard rather than saw Christian's look of approval of what I was wearing. He in turn was wearing some casual but not casual trousers with an Hawaiian shirt on. I really couldn't fathom why he would want to wear that, but I didn't mention it.

"You look hot." He said to me as he stepped closer and I could feel his warm breath on my bare shoulder, which made me shiver. The tension between us was really intense at this point and I had to admit to myself that this tension was probably _sexual _tension.

To break the awkward silence, I spoke first. "Come on soldier. Let's get moving onto these clubs before they close." I laughed nervously and so did Christian as we left our room to the first club we came across near the hotel.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

It turned out we couldn't get into the first club because we didn't possess an ID card each. Christian tried to compel the security guys at the door, but it didn't work. Eventually we gave up trying and tried our luck at the next one; this time we were allowed in.

The club was packed out. When I looked around for a table, I saw that every booth was taken up by at least twelve people. When Christian went to the bar to order us some drinks, I found myself being asked whether I wanted to join some people at the far end of the room and before I had a chance to reply, I was being ushered with this mystery person. Once there, the people occupying the table made some room for me to sit down. I will admit on closer inspection of these strangers, I felt quite nervous. Sitting opposite me were two identical girl twins, who both looked about twenty and were dressed like sluts. I don't think they intended to be, I just think they tried too hard and the end result wasn't desirable. The guy who had brought me over was very good looking and had his arm around a stunning woman, who I realised was a moroi with silky blonde hair that went down in waves to her shoulders, with chocolate brown eyes and flawless skin. I envied her beauty. When the girl saw me looking at her she winked and I blushed. I didn't know what was coming over me.

"And what's your name sweet girl?" She asked in an Australian accent. I always found it funny when I heard moroi and dhampirs speaking in English, Australian or other type accents because I only ever imagined our kind to be American. I don't know why, but there you go.

"I'm Rose. What's-" At that moment, Christian appeared beside me carrying two beers. I wondered how he had managed to get it in here. Well, the fact that we had been allowed in this club was proof enough we wouldn't have been _not _allowed to have an alcoholic drink.

I wasn't the only one that had noticed his sudden appearance here. I saw the hot girl who had asked me my name staring at him with a mixture of lust and approval. "Is this your boyfriend?" She asked me as both Christian and I replied at the same time "Oh no! Oh no!" I could have kicked myself for saying it. Not only did it make us sound suspicious, but also it meant this girl could try and get her filthy claws into him. I didn't like her anymore, not to mention she was making me as jealous as hell. I also wondered what her boyfriend thought of all of this. I soon found out.

He bent over and whispered in my ear about how him and his girlfriend were into kinky stuff and they wanted to have a foursome with me and Christian. I was horrified. I knew Christian was too because I saw his eyes widen and gestured to the door; I took the hint and disentangled myself from the man's arms in which he had put around me and both Christian and I raced out of the door. Too bad we never had the chance to have those beers and have a good dance and laugh.

When we were out of the club, I felt my ears feel quite numb at being in an environment in which it was _so loud. _I found myself laughing at the hilarity of the situation. I hadn't said good bye to the moroi and humans at the table, but I could just imagine them looking on in fury at our obvious dismissal of them. I looked over at Christian who had started to laugh as well. Before we knew it, we were nearly collapsing from all the laughing we had done and I felt my stomach hurting a bit from the amount of laughing I had found myself doing.

Eventually, when our laughter had died down, we ended up nearly falling to the floor as we became closer and were near each other, with just a small gap between us to breathe. I looked up at the sky for a moment and saw a shooting star and made a wish. The moment I was in just felt too surreal and too corny, but even though I knew I shouldn't feel so happy because of Adrian, I couldn't help it. I was happier than I had been in a long time. When I looked back into Christian's eyes, he was looking at me oddly, and before I knew what I was doing, I leaned in to kiss him on the lips passionately. I wasn't sure whether he would rebuff me like last time, but when my lips crashed down on his, he didn't even hesitate in kissing me back. Before I knew it, I felt Christian's tongue in my mouth as he pushed me backwards until I was against a nearby wall; his hands were doing crazy things to my body, one minute they were holding my face as he kissed me like there was no tomorrow and then the next he was moving his hands down my body slowing, groping my breasts and then moving further downwards. I dug my sharp nails into his forarms which had impressive muscles and I felt Christian groan in pain and desire and me in return.

I knew we were getting too heated and too overcome with lust in the moment so reluctantly I pulled away from his lips. "Christian, stop." I told him softly, doubting I would be able to keep my mouth from his much longer. I was so overcome with lust it shocked me. I wasn't even sure where it had come from; I had been friends with Christian for what seemed like ages and it was only over the past few months we had become closer. I just never realised how close until these past couple of days. I watched Christian as reality set in and he groaned from the obvious torture of not being able to touch me anymore, as I pushed him backwards so we wouldn't end up giving into our lust in front of possible passersby.

"You're right. We shouldn't be doing this. Lissa-" That's when I realised I had made a big mistake. After everything Lissa had done, he still cared about her opinion? Sure, I knew feelings didn't just vanish because the person you love treated you badly, I mean after everything Dimitri had done, I knew deep down that although I hated him with all my heart, especially because of his involvement in Adrian's demise, I also loved him as well. Life really was a bitch sometimes. However, it hurt seeing that Christian still had obvious feelings for his ex. But was she really his ex? I had never even asked him, I had always just assumed they had broken up since the truth about her and Dimitri came out. I felt tears at the backs of my eyes beginning to come to the surface, and I was determined not to let Christian see them. Therefore, I was going to leave before he hurt me more.

"It doesn't matter Christian. Just leave me alone." I said to him as softly as possible, trying to block out the hurt I felt. I walked away, hearing Christian calling my name out into the night, and I didn't reply or listen at all. I couldn't face him. Not yet. I had gone through too much already.

I found myself entering one of the beaches surrounding Ibiza. I had seen it when Christian and I had been in the taxi on the way to our hotel and we had both admired it from a distance. We had promised each other that in the short days we were in Ibiza for, we would come here even if it was for a couple of hours. We had to make the most of this holiday as much as possible; we might not get another chance.

I took my sandals off and felt the slow burn of the soft sand crushing around my feet. Even though it was very late here in Ibiza, I could still smell the hot air and hear large groups of people walking around the streets laughing and joking, some obviously drunk. The sand was still very hot as well and that's one of the things I loved about being a dhampir; whereas humans would have kept shoes or sandals on in the sand to keep their feet from burning, I didn't feel it as much. It just felt warm to me.

I walked along on the sand, until eventually I found myself at the edge of the sea, and I could feel the water lapsing over my feet and I felt how cool it was. On a moment of impulse, I stripped out of my dress and standing in my fancy underwear which I had bought from a human underwear shop called La Senza, I rushed into the freezy cold sea and began to swim. Even though I should have been shivering from the coldness of the sea, I enjoyed the sensation of the sea around me, and at first I laughed because I hadn't been in the sea for so long. I think the last time I had been in it was when I had been forced to learn to swim by my mother. As I swam along, I couldn't help but think about Adrian. Now that I was alone, my mind kept wandering to the last ever conversation I had with him. I hated myself because I hadn't told him how much he meant to me and how much our friendship meant to me. I hated that he had died for doing something he hadn't done; this was one of those occasions that I cursed the day hanging wasn't classed as illegal anymore. It caused deaths for people/moroi/dhampirs that deserved it, sure, but then there was always someone, like Adrian, that was killed when they hadn't done anything wrong. I felt the tears I had been holding being released then. I cried about Adrian, about Dimitri and Lissa and I cried about Christian as well. Maybe I was feeling sorry for myself, but the problem was it didn't make me feel any better. I wished for a moment that I had been the one that had died instead of Adrian, to stop me from feeling this much pain. I knew it was selfish of me to think it, but I felt it nonetheless.

As I swam further and further, I suddenly felt a small tinge in the side of my left leg. As I bent down to rub it to try and maybe remove the pain somehow, I saw a big jellyfish slowly swimming away from me and realised that I had been stung. I turned round, trying to rub my leg at the same time and I saw that I was really far away from the beach now. I began to panic as well, as I accidently swallowed some sea water and I tasted a horrible taste, like salt and I knew that I was in danger. Waves had suddenly become vicious and before I knew what was happening, a strong wave thrust into my face and then everything went black.

I woke up back at the hotel, with Christian leaning over me with a look of concern that nearly blew me away. I had never seen him look so frantic before. "Rose! Are you okay hunny?" He asked me, and I realised he was lying next to me with me in his arms and he was stroking my hair delicately. "I was so worried..."

"What happened?" I asked him slowly.

"Well after you walked away... I tried to go after you and I found you at the beach in the sea. I watched you for a couple of minutes and then the next thing I knew you were struggling to keep yourself above the water, to stop yourself from drowning. I began to panic like crazy so I ran to the shore and swam to where you were. Moroi are exceptional swimmers so there wasn't much risk of getting myself drowned in the process of saving you." I heard his voice break and when I looked into his eyes, he actually looked like he was going to _cry. _I hadn't realised until that moment how much he must have cared about me.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled into his chest as I began to cry. I couldn't believe how much of a bitch I had been. The next thing I knew, Christian had grabbed my face into his hands.

"You don't need to be sorry. It's _me _that needs to be. I shouldn't have, maybe..." He was struggling to form words, I could tell.

"I shouldn't have walked away. I should have let you explain." I said and I hadn't realised that the way I had said it had been like I was leaving a hidden message there; I wanted to know what he was going to tell me before I walked away to the beach. Christian got the message and told me what I wanted, or maybe not wanted, to hear.

"Lissa hurt me so much, I can't deny that. But I also can't deny that I still have feelings for her. They're not just going to go away as much as I wished they would. I mean, how do you still feel about Dimitri?" He asked me. He must have seen something in my face that gave my answer away, because he didn't give me the chance to reply. "Exactly. We don't choose who we love, as much as we wished we could. I remember when I was visiting my Aunt Tasha and she forced me to watch this show called Veronica Mars. The main love interest of Veronica in it said, 'Spanning years and continents. Bloodshed. EPIC.' I think this has such a good meaning. I mean, I'm not saying Lissa and I were an epic couple, but real love, the epic kind anyway, takes a lot of work and there will always be people that are hurt. After I found out that she had cheated on me with Dimitri, I had kept replaying that quote in my head over and over, to try and convince myself that that was the kind of love Lissa and I had. I know that's not the case though now. Before we left to come here, when I was getting my stuff together, Lissa came to my room to try and explain about her and Dimitri. In the process, she let slip that she had slept with Adrian as well. Well, that was when I brought Adrian into the conversation. She flipped when I mentioned it and when she mentioned she had slept with him as well, she had put her hands over her face, like she wished she could have taken the words back and then she had ran out of the room. After that, I knew it was over with her."

I saw the obvious torment in his eyes, and I wanted it to go away. I didn't want Christian to be feeling hurt over Lissa. He deserved better than her and I knew that one day, when we weren't teenagers that Christian would make a great husband for someone. The thought of someone else with Christian actually made me want to puke though.

"Listen Rose. There's something else I need to tell you. I hadn't realised it until you kissed me that first time, but well I think I've developed feelings for you. I mean I don't know for sure, but..." I placed a finger to his lips to make him be quiet for a minute as I smiled at him, and I felt Christian's soft lips kiss my finger. The next thing I knew, Christian took my finger and placed it in his mouthed and sucked on it. The sensations of his tongue mixed in with his fangs was almost enough to make me climax, even though we hadn't even had sex. I felt a sharp pain in my finger in his mouth and knew he had bitten on it and drawn blood. I then felt him sucking the blood away.

Eventually, I pulled my finger out of his mouth and this time placed my mouth on his lips and for what felt like hours we made out. It was the best make out session I think I had ever had. It was then that things started to get a lot more heated. I felt his hand go up my top (well actually it was my pyjama top, which I guessed Christian must have put on me. The thought sent shivers down my back) and in turn, like it was almost subconscious, I was unbuttoning his hideous Hawaiian shirt. The rest you can probably guess.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

I woke up the next morning with Christian beside me, sound asleep. The time of day it was meant that all moroi would be asleep so they weren't affected by the sun; me on the other hand, could go in the sun so I scrambled out of bed, quickly retrieved my bikini which was hooked on the door knob and I put it on. I was off to the hotel outside pool.

The sun hit me full force when I was out the door of the hotel. It dominated the sky in waves of glitter, which was empathized by the very light blue skies; there was no cloud in sight. The pool itself was huge and was only a shade darker than the blue sky. I could see the sun reflected in it, as young children swam in it with parents and mindless teenagers played games with each other. I walked to the edge of the pool and sat down, with my legs dangling in the cool water and swayed them to and throw.

Parents with children smiled at me and nodded as I glanced at the rows of people on sun loungers and looked at the people who were reading books, obviously in a world of their own. As I was gazing around, I didn't realise the person who had approached me and had sat down beside me, doing the same as me, putting their feet into the water. I looked at the person and realised it was the mystery guy from the previous night who had offered Christian and I a foursome, which both Christian and I had laughed at as we left the club.

I hadn't been able to have a clear view of him then, but on closer inspection I saw that he had black hair like a raven's, a sharp edged nose and blue eyes the colour of the sea and seemed to hold secrets and when you looked closer at them, it was like he had seen so much through them and although he was obviously about twenty, his eyes told a different story. His cheek bones and chin were an odd shape, which instead of making him look 'hot' made him interesting looking. His muscles were well defined and although he was quite big, it wasn't on the chubby side; it was all muscle.

"Fancy seeing you here." He said with amusement in his voice, "I thought you would be sauntering off with your boyfriend somewhere." He carried on, and seeing me blush, he raised his eye brows.

"You could say that. What are you doing here?" I asked rather sharply, because I felt like where ever I went, I seemed to bump into the same strangers. Next, I was going to bump into the guy from the plane.

"I'm staying here with Sandy." That must be his girl friend I thought.

"The girl from last night that was eyeing up Christian?" I asked, trying to keep my voice neutral.

"No, this is her sister." I was so shocked, I felt my mouth immediately widen in shock. When I saw him laugh, I blushed again. "Your face. Yeah, it's my girl friend. Although her sister is very good in bed; better than Sandy, but don't tell her." I wasn't sure if he was lying or not, but I knew then that he was definitely a wanker. I scrambled up, and without looking at him, walked back to my hotel room. I heard the faint, 'bye' coming from him, but I didn't listen.

When I was at my room again, I opened it to see Christian still in bed, but he was awake now and he had his head leaning against the head board and when he saw me enter, a faint smile touched his lips and I watched his deep blue eyes crinkle with something I didn't recognise.

"Where have you been?" He asked me.

"I just went to have a swim in the pool; I wasn't there long anyway and I didn't get a chance to go in the pool because wanker guy was there being, well a wanker." I told him.

"Who's wanker guy?" He asked as he burst out laughing. That was the thing about Christian – his ability to see the funny side in most situations.

"Oh the guy from last night who wanted a foursome with us and his girlfriend. Anyway, off topic, what are you doing awake?" I asked; I had now seated myself at the edge of the bed.

"I heard you go out the room and I wanted to know where you had gone. Obviously I couldn't because it's daylight outside and from what I can see through the curtain on the window, it's scorching outside. Also, I've lost my cell phone."

"I really think you should go to sleep now. You don't want to be sleepy tonight when we go out. I also think you should buy a new cell phone." I told him, amusement filling my eyes. He had lost his cell phone while we were out the previous night and I had teased him about it ever since he told me he had lost it.

"There's something else I would rather do." He said as he lifted me into his arms and began trailing kisses down my body. I didn't need any more encouragement. I gave him butterfly kisses on his shoulder, until eventually he lifted his mouth to my lips and he gave me a French kiss that took my breath away. He then moved his mouth again to my neck and started licking and stroking me there with his thumb. I knew at that moment what he wanted and what I wanted as well; Christian wanted to bite me and so did I.

I nodded at him to say I wanted him to do and although he hesitated at first, I saw his fangs extend and he made two very small cuts in my neck and then bent down to retrieve the blood. I sighed in contentment and groaned and I heard Christian groan in return. However, my groans soon turned to panic when it looked like Christian wasn't going to stop biting me. I repeated his name over and over, but I wasn't even sure I was saying it out load. I began to panic and I tried to untangle myself from Christian's grasp, but he was surprisingly strong. Although I was a very powerful and strong dhampir, when a vampire is in the middle of a feed, they can be classed as the most powerful beings on this planet. However, I hadn't realised how strong because although I had been bitten before, I had never had to try and stop them from the feed, they usually finished when they knew they were draining more blood than they actually needed from me.

As I began to feel myself going pale and could feel myself drifting off, I knew Christian had suddenly realised what he was doing. He stripped his mouth away from my neck than was humanly possible and looked at me with a mixture of panic and fear. "Rose! Rose! Are you okay? Please Rose, saying something!" He said those words over and over, until eventually I knew my eyes had closed. He had drained me quite badly and even though I had tried my hardest to keep my eyes open, this time I wasn't strong enough; blackness engulfed me again.

The next thing I knew, I was waking up in the double bed in the hotel room and when I looked at the window, I was aware that it was no longer light outside. The curtains were now open and outside the sky was pitch black with only a sprinkle of stars scattering in it. Christian was on the balcony there, looking at the sky as well and he seemed lost in thought. However, he must have sensed that I had woken up or at least moved, because then his head snapped in my direction and he moved at vampire speed to the edge of the bed. "Rose? Are you awake?" He asked me calmly, trying to stay calm but I could still hear the panic and fear in his voice.

"Yeah, I think so. You drank a lot of my blood." I said, stating the obvious.

"Yeah, I don't know what came over me. I guess I should have had more of my daily dose of blood and I wasn't drinking as much as I should. I'm sorry." He said the last two words in a breaking voice and before I knew what was happening, Christian had started crying. I reached out and gave him a hug, trying to reassure him that everything was okay and that he didn't have to apologize, but my words didn't seemed to affect him in the least. He looked devastated.

After another hour of convincing him it didn't matter, eventually he let it drop. I was feeling enormously better and therefore I prompted him to get him to come out with me. We were on holiday after all; after a little persuading, (he was hesitant because of before) he eventually agreed.

For the rest of the holiday, we seemed to do a lot of coupley type things. I mean, I knew we looked like a couple to passersby, with us hold each other's hands, kissing each other every so often. We even went out to do dinner together, which was very cute because Christian wouldn't let me pay for my part of the meal. We also went skinny dipping. I had never done if before and I was hesitant because we were going to be doing it in the sea I had nearly drowned in, but when Christian had stripped out of his clothes and dived into the sea, I thought why not? There was no one about and the fact that there was always this chance that someone could walk by on the beach and catch us, was irresistible to me. Therefore, I followed suit and swan towards Christian, who had already swam quite far in already.

We couldn't stop laughing when we were in there and Christian wouldn't stop splashing me. At first, I was furious and kept telling him to stop, but eventually I couldn't contain my laughter for much longer, mingled in with the fact that I had started to splash Christian back, was making me feel like I was going to tip overboard. I was much better at the splashing than Christian, but Christian thought it would be funny to distract me from it, so he used his moroi gift and made fire appear on the water. At first I was transfixed by the beauty of it and how much it took my breath away. It made me happy to be a part of this world where the impossible was possible; this was proof.

Christian had used this moment to launch at me and he picked me up and with me in his arms shouting "Stop!" To the top of my lungs, but not getting the words out right because I was laughing too much, and I wiggled about there. Eventually, he threw me into the sea. I tasted salt water in my mouth as I came to the surface, with Christian right next to me with a huge grin on his face. I tried to launch myself at him, like he had done to me, but he was aware of what I was trying to do and kept dodging out of the way.

When I decided to stop, we were really close to each other, with the water surrounded us and I could feel Christian's eyes burning into me. It was like he was trying to make me his own. I reached up to him and put his face into my hands and I kissed him on the lips. He put his arms around my waist under the water, and kissed me back with a deep need, and then moving his hands so they were on my breasts and making me groan. It was in this moment that the way he kissed me was like he was making sure I knew I belonged to him. He was kissing me with such passion, I felt like he was trying to leave his mark on me. Before I knew what was happening, things had gotten a lot more heated between us and I knew we were about to have sex. The thought made me giggle; I had never had sex in a spontaneous place before, expect for a good old fashioned bed. But then, my sexual experiences weren't that good. I had only ever had sex with three guys: Dimitri, Adrian and now Christian. I squashed those thoughts to the back of my mind and on my last day in Ibiza, I had sex with Christian Ozera in the clear blue sea, with no one else in sight.

Going back to America and back to Court was a depressing thought. I knew I wasn't the only one feeling it, because Christian kept glancing at me with a sad expression on his face, and I returned it, trying to reassure him of something I wasn't sure about myself. The truth was, after everything that had happened between us in Ibiza, I still wasn't sure what was going to happen between us. Christian hadn't mentioned anything, and when I had tried to bring it up, I saw a look of fear on his face and he kept changing the subject. I gave up eventually.

If I had expected arriving at Court with flowing red carpets on our arrival, I was mistaken. The gates opened at our arrival, just like when anyone returned to court from their trips, and as we were scrambling out of the car, I saw Eddie and Mia in the corner of my eye walking towards us. I turned to look at them full on in the face, with a huge grin on my face, but Eddie was looking at me sadly and Mia with a look of pity in her eyes; what for, I didn't know, but it scared me to death.

I looked back at Christian, who had gone pale at their arrival and expressions. It was then that I knew something was up, something they weren't telling me. What I didn't understand was why Christian was looking so scared now, when for most of our stay in Ibiza he had seemed happy with life and the world.

"Can you guys tell me what's going on?" I asked quietly, but instead of answering me, Mia grabbed my duffel bag and walked me into Court. I looked back at Christian, who was still standing there with Eddie and talking in hushed voices. Just when I was rounding the corner with Mia, I saw Lissa appear with a smirk on her face, ready to speak to him for whatever reason, but I was beginning to think it had something to do with what Eddie and Mia looked guilty about too.

"What's going on Mia?" I asked her when we arrived at my room and she was about to walk away.

She turned back to me and said, "That's something I can't tell you. The moroi who needs to tell you is Christian, seeing as it has to do with him." Before I could respond, she walked away in hurried steps.

I entered my room, which looked exactly as it had when I had left, and plonked my duffel bag on my bed. My room smelled of cold and disuse and I could see some of the surfaces looking dusty. I went to my computer and turned it on; I needed to email my mom about my holiday before she butchered me to death. Although my mom and I had a estranged relationship, we still loved each other and recently it had become a lot better. Even though my mom was a guardian, she still expected me to bring her up to date on the events in my life and I gladly filled her in. When she came to court on guardian duties and to visit me, although we sometimes argued, generally it was always a pleasure to see her.

Once I had emailed her, I left my room in the intention of seeing Christian and seeing where he was up to and what he was hiding from me. It turned out I didn't need him to tell me. As I was rounding the corner to Christian's dorm, I bumped into Lissa who had just come from there. "Off to see Christian?" She said with a snide grin on her face. "I've just been there. We've just had some... fun and a great talk." She laughed maliciously as my face paled.

"What's going on?" I asked, my voice barely audible.

"What's going on you ask? Well firstly, Christian and I are officially a couple again and secondly, I'm pregnant; with Christian's baby."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

I looked at her stunned; this really couldn't be happening to me. Could it? I knew I was dreaming... or having a nightmare. There was _no way _this could be true; if it was, Christian would have told me before we left to Ibiza, or at least while we were there. But he hadn't mentioned it nor had seemed scared or upset about anything. Well, I had seen him upset, but I had never imagined that it would be this.

"You're lying." I said slowly and quietly, feeling tears filling my eyes, ready to explode. Lissa gave me a cool and evil look, like she was enjoying my torment and I wouldn't put it past her to actually feel this way.

"Fine; so you don't believe me. Go and ask Christian and find out for yourself. I'm sure he would be happy to fill you in." She winked at me and as she was walking away she said, "I would love to be friends with you again Rose. We used to have so much fun together; we never used to allow men, well in this case dhampirs and vampires, come between us. Sure, I slept with Dimitri and Adrian; so what? It wasn't anything other than physical. Besides, Christian and I are putting the past behind us for the sake of our baby and so should you." Then she walked away.

Feeling numb and in shock, I walked around the corner to where Christian's dorm stood. I knocked on the door quietly, because even though I knew I was supposed to feel devastated, it was like my body was refusing to allow me to feel it and therefore I knew if someone walked past me now, I would give off the feeling that I felt indifference to the world; it probably wasn't far from the truth.

Christian opened the door, in some faded blue jeans and no shirt and when he saw me standing at his door, I saw his eyes glitter with shock. I registered how his eyes had a hint of red there as if he had been crying and how he was shaking slightly. He wasn't the Christian I was used to seeing. "What are you doing here Rose?" He asked me, and I couldn't help but feel incredibly hurt at this question. He was acting like what had happened between us in Ibiza had never happened and I couldn't understand why he would act like this. I supposed it was due to Lissa's baby, but even then I didn't understand how his personality had changed so suddenly. He had been with me for a couple of days in Ibiza, in which he seemed to act like his normal self; therefore, to see him act like this was a complete contrast.

"I-I wanted to know whether or not it was true." I asked him. When he looked at me in confusion, I elaborated as much as I could. "About the baby..." When he guessed my meaning from this, I saw him tense and gaze into nothingness as he processed it. I don't think he had ever prepared what would happen if I was to find out about this misfortunate news. Whether he saw it like that was another matter entirely.

"Rose, I'm sorry. I-" I held my hand up to tell him not to continue and as I felt the tears I had been holding becoming loose, I started walking really fast away from his room. I heard him calling my name, but I didn't listen. However, I knew I had to stop when I felt his hand circle my arm in a hard grip. "Please Rose, let me explain."

I didn't turn round as I said, "Get your hand off my arm Christian. I don't want to speak to you about _anything. _I hope you, Lissa and her bun in the oven all have a wonderful life together. As long as I'm not a part of it, I don't really give a shit what happens to any of you." I said, feeling the raw emotion filling my voice. I felt Christian loosen his grip on me with mild reluctance.

"Okay Rose, but you know we need to discuss this. I don't want there to be any problems between us. Our friendship is too important to me." _Friendship. _That's all he saw us as; it was like Ibiza was just a dream, or I had made it up in my pathetic head.

I didn't turn round to look at him, or agree verbally or by nodding and walked away, in the direction of my room. On my way, I didn't see Dimitri until I bumped into him. He steadied me as I felt myself about to fall on the floor with tears in my eyes, and then I looked up into his face, not hiding any of the emotions I felt inside me. I knew I was very vulnerable in that moment and that even the slightest bit of kindness would do me the world of good.

"Roza. Are you okay?" He asked me gently. The thing was, even though Dimitri had put me through hell and upset me beyond reason, I felt that it was _Christian _that had hurt me more.

"No, I'm not." I said honestly, not trying to hide my tears anymore; I broke out in sobs. I felt Dimitri lead me somewhere and even though I didn't actually know where I was going, I honestly didn't care. Nothing seemed to matter anymore. I mean, to some people/moroi/dhampirs finding out that the guy you were falling in love with was having a baby with your ex best friend, who had also happened to have slept with your ex boyfriend and best friend, who was now dead, might not be that important; or, they would get over it eventually. I knew that losing Adrian should have been the worst thing to happen to me, and in such a horrible way, but it wasn't; as selfish as that was.

Dimitri took me to one of the Court's cafes and he sat me down at a corner table. He left me for a minute and came back with a couple of diet cokes for us both to drink and two small cakes for each of us to have. We sat in silence for a couple of minutes, me munching on my cake and drinking my drink, Dimitri barely touching his drink and food, until eventually Dimitri spoke.

"What's this about Roza?" He asked me softly.

"Lissa's pregnant." I whispered. At my statement, I watched as Dimitri gazed at me in shock, trying to take in my words at such an unexpected moment. I wondered what he was thinking during the silence that followed; I'd already wondered why Lissa was so sure that Christian was the father of her baby and not Dimitri, but I knew that Christian wouldn't be that naive and believe Lissa if he wasn't so sure himself.

"Wow." Dimitri said, almost subconscious. He freaked me out when he went into his own world like this. "Wasn't expecting that."

"Well as you can see, I wasn't either." I said, tears forming in my eyes. I had stopped crying before just as I was entering the cafe, but I knew they were coming again. Knowing that I knew I had to change the subject in order to (sorta) get my mind off the whole situation, I brought another subject up; one that still caused me pain on the inside of me, but one that I had to try and pull out of my chest. "Why are you being so nice to me Dimitri? What about Adrian and what you did to him?" I watched as Dimitri's eyes darkened at my question. I knew he was struggling to answer, because every time his mouth made movement ready to speak, he closed it again, obviously trying to think of something better to say.

"I didn't want to go to prison." Was all he said when he eventually spoke, which made me furious. Adrian, an innocent moroi, had died for a crime he hadn't committed, while the real culprit was living life like it was a lap of luxury. I didn't understand how Dimitri could think this was fair.

"But Adrian didn't go to prison did he? He was _hung; _which means he's _dead."_ I said, empathizing the correct words as I went. I watched as Dimitri didn't even flinch.

"I had to do what I had to do. I didn't want to go to prison, or die and sadly Adrian got in the cross fire. It didn't help that he had been involved with Lissa and..." Realising what he had just said, he shut his mouth, waiting for me to respond.

"That's right – Lissa. You slept with my best friend. How can you ever think that's okay? Adrian might have slept with her, but I wasn't with him nor was I in love with him. You on the other hand..." I could tell by the level of my voice that I was becoming angry again and from the expressions on other dhampirs and moroi that were in the cafe when I looked around, I knew my voice had become louder as well. I tried to tone my voice level down as I continued what I was going to say. "It's all right trying to be sensitive now, trying to make me feel better with a cake and a drink, but the fact remains that we can't change what you have done in the past. Your mistakes are huge and from the way you have acted just now, you don't even consider them that."

"You're right. Roza, I still care about you, whether you want to believe it or not. But sometimes people do things to protect themselves; this was no different for me. It was either me or Adrian – who do you think I was going to save? Some stupid drunk who doesn't really care about his own life and keeps brooding and thinking about his 'love' for you, or someone who still has so much life to lead. Hard choice." He said the last words sarcastically, with a hint of sick humour I thought.

Seeing that I had finished the cake but hadn't finished my drink, I stood up with my drink in my hand and poured it over Dimitri's head. Dimitri tensed in shock at first, but then looked at me with pure fury in his eyes. "What was that for you stupid bitch?" He mustn't have realised his voice level, which had become a lot louder and fellow dhampirs and moroi at other tables had begun staring at the pair of us; me in sympathy and Dimitri in shock, horror, fear and anger.

I didn't answer him as I walked out of the cafe, knowing Dimitri was still sat in his chair and I more or less jogged to my room. I knew Dimitri hadn't gotten everything he deserved just now, but it was a start. I hoped Adrian was looking down at me and smiling. Once I arrived and then entered my room, I went straight to my bed and fell asleep.

I woke to the sound of footsteps in my room. I looked up to see Christian staring down at me. "What the hell are you doing in here?" I asked him, furious. He was acting like a freaky stalker, knowing how to enter my room, especially with me sound asleep in my bed.

"Sorry, I had to come and see you. We need to discuss Ibiza, and..."

Trying to avoid that particular subject, I said, "How were you able to enter my room without a key?" I asked him, suspicious.

Looking guilty, he said, "I kinda went to the reception and when they weren't looking took the spare key to your room; I wasn't sure whether or not you would let me in after what happened earlier today." He looked sheepish as he said this.

"Whatever." I said, much to his surprise.

"Listen... the thing that happened in Ibiza, it was meaningless right? Just a bit of fun. Besides, I was unhappy for most of the holiday anyway, so if any girl had been there I would have been with them." Hearing him say this hurt, because whether he liked it or not, what he was saying was all _lies. _He didn't mean it, I mean, I saw how happy he was on the holiday. But then I kept thinking, maybe he was right? Maybe everything that I felt for him was just one sided and all he felt for me was what a _friend _felt for a friend; purely platonic, or in a sister/brother way.

"Right, okay." I said, trying to keep my voice indifferent, which I saw seemed to make Christian happy. He must have expected me to be bawling my eyes out now. The idiot.

"About the baby... I only found out when I was packing my things for our holiday to Ibiza. I wanted to forget about it or something, so that's why I never mentioned it or anything while we were in Ibiza. I just wanted to have _fun."_

"What about when you said that you knew it was over with Lissa? What about that?" Christian seemed shocked that I had remembered this.

"I-I wanted to give the impression that it was over with her; so you didn't keep asking me questions about our relationship."

"That's a stupid ass lame excuse and you know it." I fumed, no longer showing my act of indifference. Did he think I was stupid?

"Excuse? Excuse? You want to talk about excuses Rose? You got it on with me when you know as well as I that you still have feelings for Dimitri and your mad at Lissa for sleeping with him. I just don't get why you don't just make it up with her and be over with it. She made mistakes, just like we all do. It wasn't Lissa's fault that Adrian died, it was Dimitri's. Sure, Lissa should have mentioned something before Adrian was sent to court, but she still _isn't responsible. _She regrets sleeping with Dimitri and knows he's an ass. She wishes that your friendship could be built up again and so do I. I want to stay friends with you Rose. Why can't we forget this mess? I care about Lissa and I care about you. Come on." He said the last two words softly, but I felt like the damage had already been done.

"You never said you were in love with Lissa – you just said that you cared about her." I said, my voice breaking.

"Okay, if it makes you happy, I am _in love _with Lissa; I always have and always will be. You just have to accept that."

"What if I can't?"

"Then there's nothing else I can say to you. Bye Rose." He said, before storming out of my room, trailing his anger with him.

Feeling deflated, not wanting to feel pain anymore than I already have, I fell back on my bed, (I had gotten up whilst speaking to Christian) I went back to sleep.

The second time I woke up that night was to the sound of screams. I woke up in a sweat after having an awful dream about Adrian and when I originally woke up, I thought it was just a continuation of the dream; well nightmare.

I scrambled out of bed, feeling groggy, and reached for some clothes which I had left on a chair near my bed. I put them on and then raced to my door. When I had opened it, I looked out into a blanket of darkness. The light (it was a light which protected moroi and so wasn't blinding and couldn't burn or kill) which was usually always on in the corridor, whether moroi/dhampirs were asleep or not, was no longer on and I couldn't hear any sounds coming from any of the bedrooms which surrounded mine. The area looked eerie, to describe it in one simple word.

I crept into the hallway, closing my door quietly behind me and I tiptoed to the end of the hall in which the staircase stood. I couldn't see a single face from which ever angle I looked around from, which further spooked me out. As I was about to walked down the stairs to see if I could find any face anywhere, I felt a movement behind me. I turned round, but before I was able to glimmer a face or anything, I felt the sweet sensation of a bite in my neck and as I felt the endorphins, I tried to focus on the matter in hand and not being able to do this, I slowly crept into the heaven that was having your neck bitten. Once it had finished, I looked into the face that stared back at me and was shocked.

"Hello Rose." Said my father, Abe.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

I couldn't believe what I was seeing; this really couldn't be my father, right? As I struggled with my words and trying to stay sane, I had a glimpse from the corner of my eye, someone else appearing out of the shadows.

Whoever it was appeared before me with a black hood covering his eyes; he removed the hood and I was staring into the face of Abe. I looked back at the moroi that had just bitten me and saw that he was Abe too. Feeling lightheaded, I looked from one to the other, trying to work out if I was seeing things or whether this was all a nightmare; a sick nightmare.

"Rose, it's me Abe; your father. He's trying to trick you into thinking it's me so you don't trust me anymore and start trusting the wrong people." The man with the black hood said. "Come with me now; please." He pleaded.

The man that had bitten me looked at the other 'Abe' with amusement. I tried to work out who was who but this task felt impossible. I had never thought Abe would bite me, but then everyone was acting differently lately; or maybe I just refused to see the truth.

I looked back at the man with the hood who was looking at me, pleading with my eyes to believe him but at the same time acting almost indifferent, which was when I realised he was the right Abe; my father.

In the short time I had known him, I had come to know his facial expressions and the way in which he portrayed himself to other people, whether they were family or not; this time was no different. He always tried to make people think he had a cocky arrogance and an air of indifference, but this wasn't the case. Only people that knew what he was about would understand, otherwise it was hopeless.

I turned to the mysterious moroi still holding my arm and felt my anger start to be built up. "Get your arm off me." I said quietly and slowly, but all he did was smirk and as he was about to laugh, someone else appeared to join our group; this guy was Dimitri. Feeling shocked, I watched him as he walked with a confident stagger, and as he was about to near me, I saw the Abe with the black hood quickly move so he was in front of me. He didn't turn to look at me, nor the hand that was holding my arm in a strangling grip, but I saw how he tensed up and knew he was mad.

"If you come any closer to my daughter, I will kill you. You got that?" He said, the anger lacing his voice and if I hadn't been his daughter, I knew I would have been petrified of him; I wasn't scared of people that easily, but it was like Abe was in a bubble of violence – cross it and you were dead.

I watched as Dimitri completely ignored him and began a graceful walk, one that I used to find attractive and now I knew I didn't; I know I just said it was a graceful walk, but on closer inspection it was more the walk of someone who was too cocky and sure of themselves. When he was near me, I saw how black hood Abe moved into a battle stance and without me realising it, had taken a silver dagger out of one of his pockets, one that was sure to kill Dimitri should it hit him in any part of his body; it was that powerful.

"Calm down, I just want to tell Jeremy that he doesn't have to shape shift for any longer." He clicked his fingers and then the next thing I knew, the moroi that had been 'Abe' before, was now a man who was of average height and weight, had piercing blue eyes and dirty brown hair; he had the beginnings of what looked like a beard and he looked about forty, although if you looked closer, you would realise he was actually probably only about twenty-five. Jeremy loosened his grip on me and stepped back, walking to one of the pillars near the stairs and leaning with his back against it; he folded his arms and stayed silent as Dimitri took over on the 'entertainment'.

Having been distracted on Jeremy, I hadn't realised that Abe had moved towards Dimitri, his shining dagger with him, whilst instead of looking frightened as he should have, Dimitri looked at the dagger, amusement lighting his eyes. "I want you to get out of Court, get out of the country and away from all our lives. You understand?" Abe said to Dimitri in a menacing voice. At this question, which was more of a statement on Abe's part, Dimitri burst out laughing.

"You-you think that I-I would really do that just because of your 'scary' face?" Dimitri said, barely being able to say the words because of his laughter. As Abe stared at him in shock, he didn't realise Jeremy, who having took his weapon out of his pocket, had launched it at Abe and the weapon, being able to see it now, was a dagger, almost identical to Abe's and it hit Abe in his left thigh. I hadn't been able to warn Abe myself because just like Abe, I had been too focused on Dimitri and therefore when I saw the blow, I fell back slightly from shock and as I began walking quickly to Abe, who had fallen down in agony, I felt Jeremy from behind me and place a piece of thick material around my mouth and then covering my eyes with another of the same type material; however, this piece of material was see through and I was able to see the on goings in front of me. I started to wiggle around a lot, trying to get Jeremy's hands off me as he held me in a firm grip. Dimitri, having seen Abe fall to the floor, took Abe's dagger off him and stabbed it into his back. When he saw his achievement, as I knew he would see it, he grinned like a child on Christmas Day.

I tried to scream, but with the cloth covering my mouth this was no easy task. Tears had started to burn my eyes and this fuelled my anger like never before; with my arm, which Jeremy hadn't had chance to tie yet, I elbowed him in the chest and because he hadn't expected it, I saw him lurch back in agony and I saw Dimitri walking at a fast pace towards us, particularly me, in fury. I saw him holding his dagger, ready to lunge at me when he got in front of me, but when he was there, I kicked him in the chest and watched as he fell to the floor, clutching his chest. Jeremy had let go of me at this point, shocked at my sudden defence and he went to see if Dimitri was alright as I ran to where Abe was. On the run to Abe, I had thrown the cloth that had been covering my eyes and the cloth that had been covering my mouth.

Abe was close to unconsciousness when I leaned down to see if he was alright. He was pale in the face, more pale than was normal for a moroi, and his wounds both in his left thigh and back were awful. I wanted to cry with fear and panic at the state he was in. Abe was my father and although I hadn't even known him for a year, I had grown to love him as one and to see him like this was one of the worst things I had ever faced and would ever face in the future.

Abe looked at me, his eyes about to close and said, "Get out of here." Then his eyes closed. I knew he wasn't dead at this moment but there was every chance he could soon. The thought frightened me but I knew he was right; I had to try and protect myself from Dimitri and Jeremy and whoever else was on this weird and dangerous tirade and there wasn't much I could do for Abe now, except killing myself and him in the process. I was angry I couldn't help him, but I knew it had to be done.

I scrambled up from where I had crouched down beside Abe, and as I began to walk at a fast pace away from the group, I heard Dimitri gasp out to Jeremy, "Don't let her escape. Get her now." Jeremy didn't need to be asked twice and as I began to run down the staircase, I heard Jeremy behind me, getting closer and closer to me, but I didn't give up. Once I was at the bottom of the staircase, although I still saw the eeriness of the place, I ran to where one of the doors was which led to the grounds of the Court.

When I was out there, I briefly looked at the night sky with the stars twinkling in the sky and rushed to where the main big fountain was. I crept behind it, and stood there for a moment, panting from all the running I had just done and not knowing how to feel about the whole situation. I was scared about what could happen to him in Dimitri's presence and although I knew Abe was powerful and could protect himself from other powerful forces, I wasn't sure today. He was in bad shape and I hated that I wasn't able to get someone to help him and I was terrified that he could die.

Realising that I was alone and Jeremy wasn't around anywhere, I felt my heartbeat slow for a second. Maybe I was safe now? All I could hear was the water dripping from the fountain and seeing the water made me realise how thirsty I was and how perspiration was dripping from most of my pores. With a scoop of my hands, I drank some water and it was then that I realised I was wrong in my assumption that I was alone for once; I felt a movement behind me and when I turned round, (too late it turned out) I saw Jeremy smirking at me with clear triumphant in his eyes.

He grabbed me, his hands circling my waist, but where Christian had held me gently and adoringly, Jeremy held me roughly and aggressively. I began to scream and tried to kick Jeremy, but it was no use. I had always tried to make out I was the strongest dhampir out there, I mean, someone who has the amount of marks as I do at my age, would gladly think this, but Jeremy was clearly proving this assumption wrong. Knowing that I had missed defeat, I let Jeremy start to drag me away.

As we were walking back into the darkened Court, it was then that I saw Christian step out of the shadows with a dagger in one hand and a fire ball in the other. His eyes were glazed with pure menace directed at Jeremy. He stepped towards us and I felt rather than saw Jeremy's shock at his sudden appearance.

"Let. Her. Go." Christian said slowly and angrily and I saw with every word he said, his anger seemed to go up a notch. Jeremy didn't flinch or step back with me in fear, but instead I felt his chest fall up and down with laughter.

"You think I'm scared of you vampire? You want to know what my trick is?" He asked. The next thing I knew the water that had been in the fountain was now flooding Christian and I heard him scream in pain; moroi and dhampirs had always assumed that moroi who had the gift of water were useless, and it was only until Mia had proven me wrong in our last battle against strigoi that I had realised how wrong this assumption was; except, I wasn't fighting against strigoi this time; at least not yet.

Feeling fear for Christian, I began to shake and again tried to twist out of Jeremy's grip; this must have distracted him for a moment against Christian, because the next thing I knew the water that had been hurled at Christian and making him shake with agony, was magically restored to the fountain and Christian had lit up another fire ball; this time he didn't hold back and launched it at Jeremy. I also knew he had used his gift of fire on the mind because the next thing I knew Jeremy had let go of me and was clutching his head, screaming in pain and agony, more than Christian had been when the cursed water had touched him.

Christian launched another fire ball at Jeremy and the next thing I knew, Jeremy fell down on the floor and as soon as his head hit the concrete, his eyes closed in death.

Paying no attention to Jeremy, Christian walked up to me with fear raking his eyes as well as a deadening worry I had never seen before from Christian, especially directed at me. Sure, I had seen him worry about me, but never to this extent. "Rose? Are you alright? Please be alright." He said and when I looked into his eyes, I saw them glittered with tears, which the dark sky empathized.

"I'm okay." I said, as Christian hugged me and I rested my head on his chest for a moment. "I need to know whether Abe is okay or not. He was stabbed pretty bad by Dimitri." I told him.

Christian looked down at me and said, "There is no way you are going back in there. It's way too dangerous. The rest of the moroi and dhampirs were evacuated before to a safe place; you're going there, where you should have gone before this whole mess took place."

"How did you know I wasn't there? Why wasn't I told to go there? What's going on?"

"Well, there's been some type of invasion at the Court and no one's sure what type but when a moroi was killed in cold blood in the night and guys came storming out of nowhere, we knew there was trouble. I would have gone to your room, but I thought you would have been alerted straight away and that put my worry at ease; when you weren't at the safe haven, I started to worry like crazy. I would have known straight away if you had been there and you _weren't; _as for why you weren't told, I'm not sure and when I find out, I'm going to cause a storm." Christian said, looking like he could rip someone's head off right now at the mere thought that I wasn't told of the danger we were all in.

"Is Lissa there?" I asked quietly, not actually having been aware I said it.

"Yes." Christian said, nearly inaudibly.

"Okay then. Well, it looks like I have no choice but to go with you. But what are my going to do about Jeremy's body?"

"We'll just have to leave it there. It's not like he deserves a special memorial or something is it?"

"Yeah, you're right. Stupid thought." I said, as I saw a hint of a grin light Christian's features. I smiled in return and although I knew we shouldn't be laughing in the situation we were in, it was still good to feel happy for a minute.

As he began to lead me away, we were stopped by more mystery guys who had come from the Court as well. Christian realised first, because the next thing I knew Christian had shoved me behind his back and was making more fire balls, ready to shoot at the swarms of guys who had appeared. However, whereas before Christian had managed to defeat and kill the horrible moroi, he was outnumbered this time and the swarms of moroi and dhampirs that came at him knocked him off his feet and then they turned towards me. They grabbed me and I felt one of them twist my arms in a Chinese burn which made me scream in agony. Another put a piece of cloth around my mouth to stop me from screaming and as I was too distracted by this moroi, or dhampir, (I couldn't tell anymore) I didn't feel the sting in my arm. I looked down at my arm and saw a large needle sticking in there and then the next thing I knew everything had gone black.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

I woke up in a dark room with my hands tied to a pillar. I looked across the room to find, to my shock, _Lissa._ She was mirrored to me, being tied to the opposing pillar, but as with me I knew to remain calm, I could see the level of panic Lissa felt from the look in her eyes and the way she was visibly shaking. She looked me straight in the eyes, and as before they were laced with menace and triumphant, now was a deep contrast and she looked at me in fear and she just looked lost.

We stayed like this for what felt like hours, until I heard a door being closed and then the sound of movement as someone walked towards us. Lissa became a shadow of herself and seemed to be trying to crouch out of the way of danger, whereas I didn't even turn to either move out of the way of danger, or turn to look at the intruding figure.

I took a sharp intake of breath as I felt a chunk of my hair being twisted in a strong hand and heard the faint sneer of the intruder. "You liking this?" Said the faint voice and once I had managed to twist round to see who it was, I saw an unfamiliar face of a strigoi woman. She looked about twenty, with blonde hair and looked quite similar to Lissa in looks.

"What do you think?" I told her rather than asked and spat in her face. The mystery strigoi moved slightly backwards and then I watched as her anger seemed to blow up in my face. She lunged at me and just as I saw her take a sliver stake from her pocket, one that couldn't kill me like it could a strigoi, but would injure me badly, another voice broke into the iciness in the room.

"Now now Louise. Drop the stake and go back to your post." Said the familiar voice of Dimitri. Louise pocketed her stake and moved away from me quite abruptly; she then dashed from the room. Dimitri turned to me with a devilly almost inhuman smile and glanced from me to Lissa, gloating like he had just won the lottery. "So, I have the best friend and possible mother of my child in the same room." He laughed harshly, and I watched as Lissa looked up at Dimitri now with both fear and longing; what she was longing for, I didn't know. I was willing to bet she had fallen deep for him and if he killed one of her family members she would still go running back to him. The thought made me sick and angry. However, I also realised due to the next conversation that Lissa might long to be with Dimitri, but she also would do anything to protect her child: by trying to convince him whatever the cost that Christian was the unborn child's father.

"This baby isn't yours, its Christian's. I've told you that." Lissa said softly, trying to keep the obvious fear out of her voice.

"I heard and I also don't believe you. What makes you so sure that douche bag is the father? Do you honestly think that if that baby is mine I'm going to let some useless twat raise it?" He said, sounding both jealous and angry which actually amused me. I didn't like the way the conversation was heading though. The thought that Dimitri might be the baby's father and not Christian after all this, built a fury in my veins like no other. If this turned out to be true, I was going to kill Lissa with my bare hands. She had said she was certain Christian was the father, and me being me, believed her as much as it pained me. I had wondered why she had felt so certain, because Christian, Dimitri, Lissa and I all knew that she had slept with both Dimitri and Christian around the same time. I guess I was too caught up with my own grief to really analyse the situation. I also wondered how many months gone Lissa was; I had been so shocked at her news that I had failed to think and ask these questions that was likely to affect a lot of people's futures.

"YOU AREN'T THE FATHER! CAN'T YOU GET THAT INTO YOUR THICK HEAD?" Lissa yelled unexpectedly, to my amusement. However, this was short lived as I watched Dimitri tense with anger and then race to Lissa's side and grab a chunk of her hair as Louise did to me before.

He moved millimetres from Lissa's face until I knew that he was so close Lissa would be able to feel his breath on her skin and vice versa. "Don't you dare speak to me like that. I'm not some piece of dirt you found yourself stepping in. You would do good by remembering that; it will make the world a better place." He said with a slight grin on his face that made me want to barf with the sickness of the situation.

He let go of Lissa's hair and then walked back to the door. "You girls will be released soon to have something to eat with my guards. For now, you can stay in here and suffer." These were his last words as he walked out of the door and slammed it behind him.

I realised what he meant by suffering, as he had turned the bright lights on which meant that it could _kill _Lissa. Vampires weren't made to be a part of lightness and were made to be a part of the darkness and therefore Dimitri had put her in a dangerous situation. It surprised me because if he was that convinced Lissa's unborn child was his own as well, why would he put the child in jeopardy?

I looked over to Lissa, to see how badly she was coping with the recent light exposal Dimitri had relinquished on us. She was trying to jerk away from the light into the shadows, but it wasn't easy for her because of her hands tied to the pillar. Her panic was washed all around the room like a thick blanket and although it wasn't completely normal for a shadow kissed dhampir to feel this, but I also felt waves of fear rake through Lissa as well; but it wasn't for her, it was for her _baby. _

"Lissa, everything's going to be okay. Dimitri isn't going to let you die. He seems pretty convinced the baby is his, so that should keep you alive for now. It's me that should be worried, if anyone." Lissa briefly smiled at my words.

"I doubt that Rose. He would kill me whether or not I have a baby in my belly. The truth is, I hate him but at the same time I love him. It's a weird feeling that I can't seem to break from. Even if I _was _with him, this baby would remain to me as the fruit of _Christian's _loins. I couldn't have Dimitri raising this baby; not in a million years."

"How many months gone are you?" I asked her, curious.

"I'm actually not sure. I think about two or three months gone. I'm supposed to be having a scan in a week. Christian-" She broke off when she mentioned the name Christian and looked at me with a pained look on her face.

"Yeah I get it. Christian's supposed to be going with you. I mean, why wouldn't he? He is the dad right?" I asked her, suddenly suspicious. Dimitri's words got to me more than I wanted to allow. But the weird thing was, for once I really hoped this wasn't just some 'in his head' scam to try and snatch Lissa's baby. The baby being Dimitri's would solve so many problems.

Lissa looked away from my scrutinising gaze. "Yes he is. He's going to be such an amazing dad. Don't you think? I was also meaning to ask you, well _we, _Christian and I, if you would consider being the baby's godmother? I know you don't like me at the moment, which is understandable with everything that happened with Adrian and now this baby and Christian... but I feel like this is like a sorry in a way, if that makes sense? Also, we were best friends for so long, I want us to get back to that." Lissa had to be kidding me.

"Don't you remember that Adrian died? That if you had spoken up in time, that his death could have been avoided? That you slept with _both _Adrian and Dimitri behind my back when, as you put it, _we were best friends. _Sure, I wasn't with Adrian by the time you slept with him, but it was obviously one of your ploys to try and upset me again. We've known each other since we were toddlers, all I've ever wanted to do was protect you and you threw it back in my face. You think I can get over all that and be like, 'OF COURSE I will be your unborn baby's godmother. OF COURSE we should be best friends again and OF COURSE I don't mind if you screw a couple more of my boyfriends behind me back." I realised tears had began to slide down my cheeks and were falling into my lap. I couldn't brush them away because of my hands tied to the pillar, but I could feel them, the slight tickle one of the worst feelings I felt.

Lissa, on the other hand, looked at me in astonishment. "I don't get why you're taking everything so personally and to heart. Sex is just a physical thing, it doesn't have to have meaning. I know you delude yourself into thinking that it meant something when you lost your virginity to Dimitri, but in a simple word Rose, it _doesn't. _Love fades; if it was ever there in the first place." Her words echoed Dimitri's, which sent a shiver down my spine.

"So I take it you mean you and Christian don't love each other?" I asked her, sarcasm in my voice. Lissa looked lost for words. I guess today was full of surprising people; well, vampires and dhampirs.

"What is between Christian and I has nothing to do with you. Christian and I are going to have a family and we're going to be the happiest we've ever been. The end of our last relationship was distasteful, but now it's going to be bitter sweet; this is just the beginning." She said as she looked down at her belly which contained the small life inside.

Our conversation was cut short, as the door opened and a couple of strigoi guards entered the room. Two of the four which entered went to me and released the rope holding my hands to the pillar and the other two went to Lissa and released her hands from the other pillar. I noted that they seemed to be gentler when releasing Lissa, whereas with me they were almost _too _aggressive.

They dragged us both out of the room, into a corridor. Stepping out of the room made me realise how claustrophobic and hot it was in the room and out here the cool air hit my face and the space I was in was like receiving the best present a girl could ask for: it felt like freedom; which was stupid, because I was far from free.

We walked down the long hallway, passing doors as we went. Some of the rooms we passed I was able to peek inside and to my shock, some contained classrooms with children learning with strict teachers and then other rooms were games rooms with people playing poker or table tennis.

Eventually, we reached our destination which was indeed a lunchroom. The guards dragged us down the empty walkway and then plonked us down into chairs near where the food was provided. Again I was placed down more forcibly than Lissa was.

Greasy food was placed in front of us and we were told to eat it. Surprisingly, our hands were our own and we were 'trusted' to eat it. I knew better though: guards were guarding every obvious exit and weren't sitting at the edge of the table, but rather, we were squashed between fat guards and although I trusted my guardian abilities, I also felt like I didn't have the energy to fight, plus I was too outnumbered and hungry.

The taste of the food was horrible, and all it tasted like was salt. I couldn't bring myself to delve further into the taste, so I tried to gulp it down as much as I could, however hard I may have found it. Lissa didn't seemed to be struggling at all and although I had seen the same greasy meal being placed in front of her at the same time as mine was, now I saw that food in front of one of the guardians, and an almost trendy type meal was in front of her instead. I honestly couldn't understand how suddenly Lissa was being given the Princess treatment when just before she was left in a room filled with light which could have indeed killed her.

Once I had nearly finished the food, which felt like hours, I heard rather than saw Dimitri enter with his cocky stride, walking straight towards us. I heard him tell a couple of the guards to move and whisper some instructions for them to do something, and then he sat down beside me.

"How are you Roza? Enjoy the food?"

Being honest, I said, "How do you think I feel? And the food is revolting. Tell whoever made this food that they need to go back to learning _how _to cook." Instead of seeming angry, Dimitri looked amused at my burst of honesty.

"That's something I love about you Roza." He said, pointing his finger towards me as he spoke, "You're always so honest, so honest in fact that it's amusing rather than annoying. If anyone else was as abruptly honest as you are, like Lissa for instance, then I would be incredibly mad and my anger doesn't go away easily." At his words, he had actually made _me _amused. As if he could scare me with words. My motto had always been, 'Actions speak louder than words.'

"And your point is?" I bit back harshly. Dimitri watched me for a couple of seconds, before turning to his guard in a manner that said, 'this discussion is over with. Don't try to bring it up again, because it won't do you any favours.'

"I want you to bring these girls with me now." He said to the nearest guard to him and then the next thing I knew, I was being dragged out of my chair and shoved away from the table and out of the door that led away from the lunchroom.

Again we walked down the long corridor, but instead of going back to the claustrophobic room, we walked past it to the very end door of the corridor. Inside, to my shock and horror, was Christian. When he saw us enter, he all but yelled, "What have you done to them?" Saying them in a very obvious panicked voice that Dimitri seemed to enjoy, from what I gathered when I caught a glance at him for a moment.

Lissa and I were sat down at _another _table and Dimitri made sure to have Christian as far away from us as possible, two guards blocking him from running to us. Dimitri then spoke. "Christian has been nothing but trouble trying to save you girls. Therefore, to stop this nonsense, I've decided to give him his wishes." I knew there was a but before he even mentioned it. "BUT, he can only have one of you. The other, I will kill." I heard Christian moan a 'No!' under his breath and I knew he was about to cry. I wanted to tell him to be strong and to not cry; showing your weakness is the first sign of failure: I had always lived by that.

Dimitri then turned to Christian: "So what will it be Christian? Will you choose your pregnant girlfriend to save and so you can be happy families with your child? Or will it be Rose? The girl we know you are in love with?" I knew this wasn't going to be a discussion that would end in happiness.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

The room was intoxicated in silence. Christian looked straight at me in panic, as if _I _held the answer to this almost impossible question. I knew what he should be doing, but I couldn't bring myself to say anything.

I watched as Dimitri looked back and forth, between me, Lissa and Christian, obviously loving the fact the drama that he had let unfold. He disgusted me and there wasn't a shred of love left inside me that felt anything for him. The fact that he was willing to let Lissa and I die, particularly Lissa whom was pregnant, with what he believed his child, both puzzled and angered me and I hoped he died a sick and painful death. I mean, I wasn't Lissa's biggest fan after her involvement with Adrian, but that didn't take away Dimitri's obvious cruelty.

"I-I can't do it." Christian whispered before he shied away from our looks. "I don't want or need either of them to die."

"The problem is, we don't always get a choice do we?" Dimitri smirked. His smirk died down however when the door was bombarded open and there stood my mother and Stanley with others I didn't recognise. My mother was pointing a long and fat gun at Dimitri and if looks could kill, Dimitri would be dead by now.

"Get away from the kids now Dimitri. I don't know what you're playing at, but I suggest you do everything I tell you or tonight won't end in happiness." My mother slowly walked up to Dimitri, keeping the gun posed in the same place and direction all the time. Dimitri held his hands up when she was just inches away from him in a stance of defeat.

"Okay, okay you just have to calm down." Dimitri told my mother. He really did want a death wish, I thought.

"You don't dare tell me what to do! You have my daughter and her two friends held prisoner and you've put Abe in hospital!" My mother all but screamed and exclaimed. At least it confirmed my suspicions about my father – he wasn't dead but there was a chance he could; I felt my body prickle with fear.

When I sat down in a chair at the far end of the room without my permission, one of Dimitri's guards had forcibly tied my hands to the back of the chair, not realising I had managed to obtain one of their weapons which would help free me from the capacity I was in.

While my mother and Dimitri continuously argued, without the guards seeing me, I managed to get the weapon with the force of my teeth from where I had hidden it at the top of my top and I twisted round as much as I could to where my hands were tied. The guards that were supposed to be guarding me weren't doing a very good job, as they were both studying the exchange that was going on between Dimitri and my mom. Two of the three guards in the room were staring at them in opened mouthed astonishment, whereas the other guard was staring off into the distance, in a world of his own.

I tried to tear the rope that was holding my hands to the chair as best as I could with the weapon – which was a knife – in the secret of my own little world. No one was paying attention to me, not even Christian or Lissa; well, that was until Christian who although was stood far away from me, was still able to hear the ripping of the rope with which I had done in the distraction of the others with his vampire hearing. Lissa couldn't hear because I was guessing she was too into the exchange going on whereas I doubt Christian was that bothered. He turned to me, and when he saw what I was trying to do, with more difficulty than I thought it would take, he carefully and quietly moved to where I was. That was when the problems started.

Christian had thought it would be a good idea to set fire to my ropes to free me and as he was doing this, it very quickly caught the attention of the guard who had been in his own world. He turned, and seeing what Christian was doing, moved at vampire speed to the area in which we stood. Christian didn't see him at first, too focused on the task he in which he was subjected to, but eventually realised something was wrong by the obvious way I tensed and when the guard shouted to the top of his lungs, "HELP!". Dimitri and the other two guards all swiftly turned round and seeing what was going on under their nose, quickly launched themselves at us. However, by this time Christian had just managed to free me and I was standing with the knife in my hand, feeling ready for a battle that was sure to take place now.

The guard who had seen us, launched at me first, but he was too slow. I clutched the knife to my chest in a firm grip and when he was close enough in my range, I took the knife in a swift move and swung it so it landed in the middle of his chest. Dark red blood drizzled from his chest as he yelped in pain and fell to the floor. He tried to take the knife out of his chest, but I was there first and once it was in my hand again, I moved the knife back into the same position in his chest again. I kept doing this movement over and over, until eventually the guard shrivelled up in death and disappeared in a pan of ash.

For a moment there was a shocked pause because no one had seen me kill a strigoi in what felt like a long time and therefore weren't expecting to see this badass Rose all of a sudden again. However, the pause ended in less than a minute and then the 'battle' commenced.

As the second strigoi tried to launch at me, I saw my mother throw one of her specialised daggers in the back of the strigoi, straight in the middle of his chest where his heart would be; this time there was no pause when the strigoi dropped dead to the floor and blew away in ash. We all continued fighting for a long time, until eventually I heard the door slammed open so loud, it shocked us all into stepping away from each other.

I looked at the door and saw Tatiana standing there. Wait? _Tatiana? _I was so shocked at her appearance, especially as she was supposed to be dead, that I immediately fainted. I heard my mother calling my name, but it soon turned into a faded voice until I didn't hear it anymore. All the way through being unconscious, I tried to escape the black hole I was in because I didn't want to be unconscious _again. _I should have been living up to my reputation, to _be _badass Rose everyone knew; this wasn't _me _– this weak version of myself. It turned out that I didn't need to wake myself up anyway, because not long after I had drifted off into another world, I felt someone shaking me awake, shouting, "Rose! _Rose!" _to the top of their lungs.

I looked up into the eyes of Christian, who had a pained look on his face, his eyes pleading with me to wake up; I didn't blame him though – the amount of times I had fainted over the past month was shocking for someone who should have been getting a bullet in the head and then saying "Do that again and I will knock your brains out." Sneering all the way.

Christian helped me to my feet and when I was finally standing and _not _feeling disorientated, I saw Janine, my mother, slowly walking towards me with a look of concern; this was unusual for my mother – not because she didn't care about me or love me, but because my mother had managed to control herself since becoming a guardian all those years ago, even before I was born, so that her eyes were almost always unreadable. You wouldn't think so now, looking at her.

"Rose! Rose! Are you okay?" She said, her voice frantic.

"I think so... where did the remaining strigoi go?" I asked her, confused.

"Well, after you blacked out, the last one that we never managed to fight, just ran away along with _Dimitri."_ She emphasised Dimitri's name, showing how much she was angry and hated him.

Remembering seeing Tatiana before I blacked out, I said, "Where did Tatiana go?" - to the looks of confusion and sympathy. These people in this room were looking at me like I was _mad, _but they seemed to think it was result of going unconscious and therefore tried to answer me with a clear headed answer, that wouldn't upset me.

"Rose, what are you talking about? Tatiana wasn't here." She began shaking me, as if trying to knock sense into me when I didn't reply with an answer to this statement. What she didn't know was I was beginning to think, 'Did I make it up? Was I seeing things? And if yes, was it down to the shock of the whole situation?' But then I knew that it couldn't be this because my nature and my true personality contradicted this as I might act crazy, but I wasn't seeing things; I know what I saw. It made me think that it was possibly me seeing Tatiana's ghost, with me being shadow kissed and being able to see ghosts and all. However, I was only able to see ghosts that came to _me _for something; I couldn't seek them out, so it made me curious as to what Tatiana's motives were to see me, especially in the most inconvenient time ever.

I looked over at Christian, who had walked to where Lissa was when my mother had walked over to me; Lissa was in the far end of the room. Although I knew Lissa was pregnant with his child, it didn't help me from feeling the pulsing jealousy that was pumping away in my blood, as I watched Christian hugging Lissa affectionately and Lissa holding onto him for dear life. Christian heard my sudden silence and looked at me then; his eyes contrasted to the scene in which he was in and I knew this because unlike my mother who, like I said, was usually really hard to read, Christian was actually usually _easy_ to read – over the past month, due to the fact I had began to learn a lot more about Christian, I had been able to start recognising the signs to what he was feeling; his eyes said that he wanted to comfort me, but he couldn't because he had to comfort Lissa – because of their baby. It also made me wonder whether I was wrong in the assumption that Christian was still in love with Lissa; ever since our return from Ibiza and finding out Lissa's baby news, I had been convinced that this was obviously a shock for Christian at first, but once he had gotten over his shock, it had been a blessing in disguise. But then I remembered he had known about the baby _before _the trip to Ibiza. He had told me he loved Lissa with all his heart but maybe that was just a cover up because it was something he _wanted _to believe was true for the baby, but actually it wasn't? Or maybe I was just dreaming; maybe it was just me with wishful thinking. Looking at Christian full on in the face and into his eyes, I gave him a deathly smirk. Obviously shocked, which I knew from the way his eyes narrowed, he looked away from me and back to Lissa.

"Rose! Are you listening to me?" My mother asked me, as I looked away from Christian.

"What?" I asked rather rudely.

"I said, maybe we should take you to a doctor. You seeing a dead vampire isn't a good sign, besides, you and Lissa have been through a traumatic experience and we need to make sure you're both okay." At this, I just nodded in agreement absentmindedly – my brain was still too focused on Christian and the closeness he seemed to have with Lissa; I was too confused at the moment.

At the hospital, Lissa was taken to the maternity ward to check that her baby was okay and Christian went along with her. My mother went with me to check to make sure I was okay. The doctor checked me over and confirming what I had already said – that I was okay – she allowed me to leave. However, as I was waiting outside the door, I saw my mother speaking to her, having a serious expression on her face. The doctor was nodding and before she replied, she looked at me straight in the eye, and then looked at my mother and mumbled something so I couldn't hear. I wondered if it was about my 'sighting' of Tatiana: I knew I would have to evaluate that eventually.

Trying to close my mind from that, I knew that before I left the hospital building, I wanted to see Abe. However, my mother was reluctant to let me see him; at least at first.

"Why?" I asked, utterly confused and not having a clue why my own mother wouldn't want me to see my father, who could die any day.

"It's not that I don't want you to see him, it's just that there is some things I need to tell and discuss with you first." She told me, looking vulnerable again; my mother was killing me – no pun intended – because I just wasn't used to this type of vulnerability from someone who was usually such a 'hard' person. It made me realise that my mother cared about me a lot more than I originally thought; I mean I know I've probably already said this, but even though I always knew my mother cared and loved me like a daughter, I didn't think her maternal feelings ran that deep.

"Erm, okay." I replied, as she led me out of the hospital building and round the corner, where there was no one else in sight. "Well what is it then?"

"There are a lot of things you've been in the dark about Rose. I-I know it's probably late or whatever, but I just want you to know that I did what I thought was best for you." My mother was literally scaring me now, and I wasn't supposed to be easily scared. I guess from the experiences I had experienced so far, had taught me that even the hardest or angriest people could be scared too.

"What?" I breathed my voice barely audible; this time her revelations came out so fast, it was hard for me to keep up.

"You had a sister – she died – Abe is your uncle and not your father – I slept with Dimitri..." I looked at her in open mouthed astonishment, these being the last things I expected to hear.

Being my stupid self, I repeated my earlier question. "What?" Because I was unable to believe what she was saying. I felt like Ronnie Mitchel in Eastenders, where everything that could possibly be bad seemed to happen to me; my life was like a soap opera.

"I didn't sleep with him while you were with him, it was before he even came to your school, but it happened. Trust me, I wish it never happened. About Abe..."

"You're giving me too much information all at once mom. Is it true? Is Abe not my father?" She looked at me with tears in her eyes and I knew it was true. I began walking away, hearing her faint 'Please' behind me but I didn't listen. I knew I would have to speak to her eventually, to discuss me having had a sister, the whole daddy issue and the Dimitri issue, but at the moment I was just too mad.

I walked back into the hospital, fully intending to see Abe, when I bumped straight into Christian. Not thinking about anything, feeling like I didn't care much anymore, I asked him: "If we had still been with Dimitri and the strigois and you'd had to pick either Lissa or I, who would you have picked?" I knew the answer, but some part inside me I willed the answer I desperately wanted to be the one I heard from his mouth.

"Lissa's pregnant." Was all he said and that's when I broke down in tears.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

I don't think Christian expected to see me cry like this; at first, he gazed down at me in shock until eventually he kneeled down to where I was. I looked at him with teary eyes and I tried to blink back the tears and the expression on his face was one of pain. He brushed my tears away with his thumb and whispered, 'I'm sorry.' He didn't elaborate, just said those two simple words that were heartbreaking nonetheless.

At this moment in time, my mother came into the hospital looking frantic; when she saw me, on the floor in a puddle of tears, Christian beside me and many doctors and nurses looking at me in concern, her eyes widened in fear.

"Rose! Are you okay? We need to discuss what I told you..." Her voice trailed off and I knew it was because she didn't want Christian knowing what she had told me – at least not yet anyway.

I tried to ignore her standing there, but it became impossible when Christian said, "Whatever this is about, I think you should discuss it with you mom Rose." I knew he was trying to distract me from his earlier wording of truth and that pissed me off more than any of these truths making me upset.

"Don't you dare tell me what to do!" I yelled at him, leading the whole reception area to go in a blanket of silence. A nurse came up to me to calm me down, which led me to scream in her face to 'shut up!' That was when another nurse went up to my mother and told her to take me outside to take some deep breaths and to calm down. At this point, although I'd just gone mad at Christian for trying to order me about, I went with my mother without argument. I felt Christian let go of me reluctantly (he had placed his hand lightly on my arm during the exchange) and as I was walking out of the hospital with my mother for the second time that day, Christian was heading in the direction that Lissa was.

We didn't stay just outside the hospital though; my mom led me to her car and she drove me to a cafe about five minutes away from the hospital. She told me that being near the hospital at the moment was probably a bad move for me and I was inclined to agree with her.

The cafe had a McDonalds feel to it which I liked and put me to ease; I wasn't the type of girl that was impressed by expensive restaurants – flash cars I was impressed with, but when it came to restaurants I had always been a burger joint type of girl. Therefore, this restaurant was my type of place.

My mother led me to a corner booth and as I sat down, she asked me what I wanted and once I had told her, she went over to order for the both of us as I sat down. I looked out of the window at the rain that was now falling from the sky, glossing the windows with their glow and all I felt was numb. I didn't feel like the girl before that had felt heartbroken at the fact that Christian was willing to choose Lissa over me, even if it was for the baby; all I seemed to feel was indifferent and I began to wonder, was this a good thing?

My mother stopped me from continuing my thoughts and placed a strawberry milkshake in front of me, and one in front of her. We sat in awkward silence for a few minutes drinking our drinks, until eventually Janine broke the silence.

"Listen Rose; I know what I told you was hard to process, but you have to let me explain." She looked at me with pleading eyes and I didn't have the heart to tell her I didn't want to hear it. The fact was, I didn't actually care one way or another what she told me.

"Sure, tell me." I said, only slightly convincing her that I cared.

"I met your father just after I left school on my first mission; I was assigned to Abe and at first I _hated _him. He was this typical moroi, all the girls fancied him and wanted him, he didn't care what people thought of him and he was always getting into trouble. There were so many times that I wondered whether I was actually going to be able to save him all the time; then about a year into the assignment, I finally snapped. I told him, 'If you don't care about your safety, why should I?' What made me furious though was the fact that instead of replying, Abe just _laughed. _He told me that I needed to relax more and that he understood I was a dhampir and had to protect moroi, but that even dhampirs should have fun sometimes; he told me I was too serious for my own good and that same night he told me that if I didn't have a night off and enjoy myself, he would tell my boss that I had yelled and threatened him, ironically, just what he was doing to me now.

Being a dhampir guard was my life and so I agreed reluctantly, but the problem was I didn't actually have any friends – I was a loner at school and being a guard isn't exactly the best way to make friends – and so I didn't know what I was going to do with my time off. It turned out, it didn't matter. Abe told me he was going to a club that his dad owned and he invited me along; knowing I actually had nothing else to do, I agreed.

I made sure I dressed up to the nines, and I bought a new dress with my salary; it was a black strapless dress and it cost a lot, but I don't know what it was, I wanted to impress Abe as much as I _hated _him. I knew I impressed him as well, because when he saw me in my dress, his eyes seemed to pop out of his head and he just stared at me open mouthed. I told him, 'Stop gawping and take me to this club.' He just nodded and with his hand at the small of my back, led me out of the house to where a long white limo stood. I was speechless because although I knew Abe came from a family of wealth, I had seen scarce of it, but I put it down to the fact that I was so focused on my job that I didn't notice all the things I knew I wouldn't be able to afford. The limo was just as exquisite on the inside as it was on the outside, if not more and I enjoyed a glass of champagne with Abe on our journey to the club.

I ended up having so much fun with Abe; I danced for most of the night with him on the dance floor, also getting drunk and socialising with strangers; it was about three in the morning when I realised that I better go. Abe agreed but this time instead of going in the fancy limo we walked all the way back home. I knew I wasn't that drunk that I wouldn't be able to remember the events of the previous night, but I also knew that I was weak minded from the alcohol and that I would probably regret things that happened that night the next day. When we were back home, I ended up sleeping with Abe – I don't know how it happened or who came on to who, but it did nonetheless." She paused for a moment and I felt like vomiting at the thought of my mother and Abe in bed together.

"The next morning I couldn't believe what I had done and was embarrassed with myself but Abe didn't seem to be bothered either way. I knew it was because he was used to one night stands, but I wasn't and so I felt teary when I left his room. As I was his guard, it wasn't like I could just leave the house and forget what we had done. Luckily or maybe unluckily, Abe never mentioned sleeping with me, and for the next couple of months I just carried on being his guard and pretending I had never gotten intimate with my charge.

However, that all changed when just as it was nearly three months since we had slept together, I started feeling really ill. I thought it was because I had food poisoning at first but when I didn't feel any different for the next two weeks, I took the rare day off and went to see my doctor; she told me I was pregnant and when she said those words, I felt like my world was crashing down on me. I knew that if I had a child, it would mean that either my career as a dhampir guard was over, or I would have to give my baby up. I really didn't want to tell Abe about the baby either, but I knew he would find out eventually anyway because he was after all my charge and it wouldn't be difficult to see my growing stomach after a while.

Another two months passed without Abe knowing, until eventually when he was having his dinner one night and I was guarding the door, he said 'When did you start putting on the pounds? When do you get the chance to eat that much?' I had felt my face burn and I don't know what it was, but Abe guessed. He was furious that I hadn't told him sooner, but he was also determined to make sure that our baby was safe and so he sacked me from being his guard; I had learned that behind my back Abe had been learning with a couple of other moroi and some guards as well about how to defend himself to the point he didn't need anyone else there unless of course he desired it. Therefore, he didn't actually need me anyway, he was just as badass now.

I spent the rest of my pregnancy putting my feet up, watching television and eating junk food, until that day came where my waters broke and I gave birth to Abe's baby. There were complications during the labour, and both Abe and I were so frightened, and it didn't help that the doctor and his assistants were looking nervous too. I was scared because during the remaining months of my pregnancy that Abe was involved with, I had fallen in the love with him; this baby was a way to keep me in a relationship with him that wouldn't go away and he wouldn't run away from. Without this baby, he wouldn't want anything to do with me.

When my baby girl was born, I felt like my whole world had come to an end. It turned out we were right to feel scared because when my daughter was born, she was dead – a still born." Both my mother and I had tears in our eyes now; lately had been a time where both of us were more open in our emotions, and to see my mother on the verge of breaking apart was heartbreaking. "I-I named her Rhoda because she was a rose to me; she represented my desire to have a good life and although I had never wanted a proper family and had wanted to concentrate on being a guard, seeing my little girl unmoving was one of the worst things I could and would ever see. I had felt my heart slowly break, my heart that I had always thought to be unbreakable.

I knew that Abe was hurting as well, but unlike me that wore my emotions on my face, Abe closed off to everything. He became more violent – not with me but I knew he was close to. The man I had fallen in love with and had had so much fun with seemed to have disappeared before my eyes and for the next month it was like that; I knew that Abe wanted me to disappear, but he didn't tell me to go or anything because he knew by telling me to go, it would mean bringing up Rhoda, something I knew he wanted to avoid just as much as me.

One night it did all come up though; we argued so much and I felt like I was suffocating in that house and so non too quietly I left, going in the direction of the club we had both gone to so long ago – I would have gone to another club, but there weren't any others round here that I knew of and I liked this one. The guys at the door recognised me and let me in straight away, wearing looks of sympathy on their faces; it seemed that word had got around about my daughter.

At the bar, I recognised Abe's younger half-brother Lucian, who worked at the bar. When he saw me, he wore that same look of sympathy just like everyone else, but unlike everyone else, he stayed with me to keep me company and he gave me a strong drink of vodka to try and keep my nerves steady. I told him how I was feeling and he listened; he didn't try and contradict me, or ask questions or anything; he just _listened._ No one had let me spill my guts out since Rhoda's death, but Lucian _had _let me. I think that's why subconsciously maybe, I hadn't stopped myself when Lucian had led me out of the club, back to where he lived and slept with him.

The next day I wanted to kill myself; I knew sleeping with Lucian had been one of the biggest mistakes of my life and it had been my agony over Rhoda that had led me to it. Lucian had just laughed when I told him this, no longer than kind gentleman from the night before who had listened as I spilled out how I was feeling. I had ran from the room still hearing his laughter and then I had ran all the way back to Abe's. Abe didn't ask where I had been and I didn't offer it either; I knew on some level that he didn't care at all. He was too caught up in his grief over our daughter.

However, he _did _care when I found out for the second time that I was pregnant. I had had no choice but to tell him who the father was, because it obviously wasn't him as we hadn't slept together since before Rhoda's birth, and so I had watched, feeling helpless, as he'd beaten Lucian up to a pulp and before the ambulance at gotten there in time, Lucian had died.

I couldn't say I was too worked up over his death, I was too worried about this new baby I was having. My emotions over Rhoda were still too raw and I was frightened that the same thing was going to happen to this baby; to _you. _Surprisingly, Abe helped me through it. He told me that although this baby wasn't biologically his, it was still his niece and he didn't want to lose another family member like he did Rhoda. I think it made me fall in love with him all over again, because I was seeing the real Abe that I hadn't seen in months.

When you were born, Abe and I had already decided that it would be better if we didn't raise you. We both loved you, but being a guard was in my blood, and Abe was too into violence and was too into his job which involved being violent, that you being in our world was a danger. I named you Rose because although I had picked a name for Rhoda that meant a rose, this time I wanted to show that you _were _a rose; if that makes sense?" I nodded and she continued. "I still wanted to be a part of your life, but I wanted you to have the best life and being in that school was the best thing for you and I was right. You've become an amazing guard and a daughter that I'm proud of." I blushed at this.

"Abe became too busy and cut out of your life, but he made sure to keep an update on you every so often and I knew he loved you just like you were his own daughter. Both Abe and I would always think of Rhoda but you were our daughter too, and we had to think about you now. You met Abe that first time when you went to Russia to find Dimitri, and he told me that he had felt that paternal instinct towards you that had surprised him. Sure, like I said he _did _see you as his daughter, but that didn't mean his fatherly feelings for you would increase when he saw you - which they did.

Anyway, now onto Dimitri." I sucked in a breath and tensed up when she mentioned his name. "I met him just before he was coming to your school to guard and it was just a one night thing. I slept with him, I realised that he was in fact a man slut and couldn't keep it in his pants; he was a cheat and all the other stereotypes made towards man sluts, and I knew he was dangerous because not long after he had actually started working at your school, I realised he had killed his first boss out of rage for not getting his own way. At first I was worried about you, but when I was told about how dangerous you had become yourself, I was confident you would be able to take him down should the need arise."

"Well... thanks for telling me I guess." I replied.

"I think you should see Abe Rose. He could die and..." She trailed off, tears forming in her eyes again.

"What?" I asked softly.

"You might not ever be able to hear from his own mouth how much he sees you as his daughter." I nodded and this time we both stood up, waved at the workers in thanks and walked to Janine's car. In the car, we were silent as my mom drove us back to the hospital. I realised that I hadn't thought about Christian in all that time, and thinking about him again made me feel a pain in my stomach again; I couldn't help the fact that I knew I was in love with him and that I couldn't have him. As I walked into the hospital, trying to keep thoughts of Christian out of my head, fully determined to see my father (Just because I had found out technically he was my uncle, didn't mean I would start to _see _him as my uncle) when my mother had some final words to say to me. "Christian was lying before Rose. He would have picked you in a heartbeat if he'd had to decide who to save out of you and Lissa."


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

I looked at her, stunned and unbelieving before I asked the receptionist if she would lead me to where Abe was so I could see him; I didn't want to think about Christian at the moment.

Abe didn't look in good shape when I saw him and it broke my heart to see him like that. I had tears in my eyes as I sat down beside him and took one of his hands in mine. I stayed like that for a while, with an unmoving Abe, until eventually I saw slight movement from him.

"Abe?" I whispered to him, my voice hopeful. He didn't answer, but his eyes opened slowly and then stared into mine.

"Rose? Are you okay?" His voice was croaky, but also filled with concern and worry. Before I had a chance to answer, the door to the room opened and a young nurse came in. She checked the various drips coming out of Abe's arms, checked the monitors and just as she was about to leave, she asked: "Is everything okay?" I nodded and then she walked out without a backward glance.

"Mom told me that you're not my dad." I blurted out without thinking. Abe looked at me, shocked, and then nodded.

"You're my dead brother's daughter technically, but you still feel like my daughter. I don't want you thinking I love you any less because you're not mine biologically. I've been a better father to you than my dead brother ever would have." I was slightly shocked at the hate I heard in his voice while talking about his brother, but then I thought about what my mom had said and realised it was understandable. To be honest, I didn't feel anything towards the father I never knew.

"I'm sorry Rose, I shouldn't be talking about him like that he was still your father regardless. I-I just get so mad when I think about him; he tried to destroy-"

I silenced him with a wave of my hand and said, "It doesn't matter. He's a stranger to me anyway plus I don't like the way he treated my mom." Abe nodded and we remained in silence for another unclear length of time. Eventually, I asked him: "Are you in love with my mom, Abe?" Abe looked shocked at me asking this and didn't say anything at first.

"Yes I am." He said quietly eventually. I wasn't exactly shocked at hearing this, because deep down I already knew the answer – I was just shocked he had admitted it to me.

"Then why haven't you done anything about it?" I was actually perplexed for once.

"It isn't who I am Rose; I'm a busy and dangerous man, I can't afford to have a woman by my side and constantly worry about her."

"You forget that Janine Hathaway is anything but weak. She is one of the best Guardians out there. You know that and I know that so don't use that as an excuse." I was starting to feel pissed off, Abe was in love with my mom and it was obvious she was with him so why couldn't they be together without one of them making up excuses as to why they _shouldn't _be together?

"Okay Rose that was a poor explanation, but you have to know that I treated your mother terribly in the time frame from when she was having you and onwards. Actually, even before that when Rhonda..." He paused at that and he actually looked like he was going to break down. Big, scary and badass Abe looked like he was going to fall apart.

"It's okay Abe mom told me about it. I understand your pain about it so you don't have to talk about that." I was trying to be strong too, but knowing the amount of pain my parents must have gone through was killing me inside.

"I love you Rose but you will never understand how it feels unless it happens to you. When I found out my baby was dead, I felt my heart explode into a million metaphorical pieces and becoming beyond repair. Your mother was distraught, but I couldn't show my emotions, at least I tried not. I used to cry myself to sleep most nights and I've never cried in my life; it just isn't _me. _Love hurts, and I didn't want to feel anymore, but I knew that was impossible. I knew I still loved your mom whether I wanted to or not and when she told me she was pregnant, I actually felt the instinct to protect her and her baby from harm. I was upset that the baby wasn't mine and sometimes I actually felt almost _jealous _because I knew that this baby, _you, _would survive and would be well protected because Janine was being more careful this time around. When she told me that my brother was the father, I was beyond furious because I felt like I was being betrayed by the ones I loved. I went to him fully intending to beat the crap out of him, and I killed him instead. I didn't mean to take it that far, but at the same time I was relieved nonetheless. I could move on with my life and pretend he never existed, and you could be my child instead of his. Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that I don't want to put your mom through more pain and that's why I can't be with her."

"How can you even think that, Abe? Times have changed since then, I mean you were both kids back then and now you're not. Also, with mom being a Guardian and a stronger one at that, it's not like you will have to worry about her."

"Wrong Rose – you don't stop worrying about someone you love no matter how weak or strong they are."

Ignoring him, I said, "Instead of worrying about that Abe, why don't you just speak to mom about it? You might surprise yourself."

At first he looked like he was going to say no and I was ready to just leave it at that, when he said, "Okay then. I will." I smiled at him and I didn't broach the subject further.

"Anyway Abe, how are you feeling?" In my hasty attempts at trying to see if there actually was something there between my parents still, I had forgot one crucial detail – was my dad okay?

"I'm recovering. It's you I've been worried about. I wasn't sure what happened back there at Court; whether you were badly injured or worse, _dead._ I don't know how I would have felt if you had died. It would have been like losing Rhonda all over again." I was both stunned and touched by what he said, and I tried to hug him for it, but he stopped my attempts to hug him. "I would rather you didn't Rose, I'm not _completely _recovered and I have a badass attitude to uphold." I kept my amusement to myself when he said this, and we stayed in _another _long silence. It was starting to get awkward.

"How are Christian and Lissa?" He asked suddenly, and I felt my face go pale at Christian's name being mentioned; I didn't want to think about him and the way he seemed to break my heart all the time lately. I knew he wanted to be the best dad to his son or daughter, but it was like he was treating me worse and worse as the baby's due date grew closer, either to push me away because he hated me now, or he didn't want to have feelings for me when he wanted to concentrate on his new family. Either way, it sucked the way he was acting towards me. "I guess that's a sensitive topic, huh?" I realised that tears had started to form in my eyes and I blinked them away before they could cascade. "If either of them have hurt you in any way I will-"

"No threats Abe. You're still in a hospital bed so technically you can't hurt them anyway." I grinned at him when I saw the furious look that marked his face.

"Seriously Rose, what's wrong?" I still didn't say anything but it wasn't like I needed to anyway. Abe must have guessed from the expression on my face. "You love Christian don't you?" I nodded my head slowly. "Can I ask you something Rose?" I nodded again. "If I have to speak to Janine about my feelings, why can't you speak to Christian about your feelings?"

A while later I left a dozing Abe asleep as I left the room, fully intent on finally going home. When I rounded the corner that led to the reception area, I saw Christian coming the opposite way and I paused. I thought about the question Abe asked me before about telling Christian how I felt and I also thought about what my mom had told me; it was then that I decided I had nothing to lose; I hoped.

"Christian? Can I speak to you about something?" I asked him just as I neared him.

Christian looked hesitant at first but then said, "Sure." He led me inside a room and I realised it was where people went to find out news about their loved ones that were in the hospital – whether happy or tragic. Once we had settled in, (well when I had sat down; Christian stood near the door, as far away from me as possible, looking like he wished he was anywhere but here with me) Christian said, "What's this about Rose?" Good question, I replied silently.

"I know you said before that if you had to choose either me or Lissa, you would have picked Lissa because of the baby, but I want you to be honest with me now: is that the truth?"

Christian looked lost for a moment, not understanding what I meant which I actually found quite insulting, until he realised what I was talking about. "I told you my answer. Why do you keep asking me this Rose? Are you going to keep asking me until I tell you what you obviously want to hear?" I was hurt at this, but unlike every time before when I had let him see my emotions evident on my face and the actions I chose, I refused to let him see it this time.

"I don't believe you." I said my statement and I knew to his ears it sounded like sharp ice breaking; I was becoming furious.

"Okay Rose do you really want an answer? REALLY? Okay I will give you an answer: YES, I would have picked you in a heartbeat. YES I would have done anything and everything in my power to protect you from Dimitri and the strigois. I _love _you Rose Hathaway, and I do more every day. You want to know the problem though? It doesn't matter. I'm staying with Lissa because I refuse to let my child grow up without his or her father. I know too many people who live with only one parent and it isn't all plain sailing to all of them; I won't put my child through that." I was stunned when he said that; there was no other word to describe it so instead of replying, I felt my mouth opening and closing making fish like motions. "I have nothing else to say Rose. You've got your answer so leave me alone from now on." With that he stormed out of the room, not waiting for my reply to his short, _shocking, _speech.

_Seven months later_

Christian and I rarely saw each other for the next seven months. Christian was too busy looking after Lissa, who was looking more and more pregnant each time I saw her, which was rarely; Christian didn't seem to leave her side, so by seeing Christian by default I saw Lissa. I heard at one point that they had found out the sex of their baby and found out they were expecting a boy, and for a moment I actually thought of what their baby boy was going to look like: he would probably have Christian's eyes and mouth, and Lissa's hair and nose; I knew the baby would be gorgeous regardless. Christian and Lissa were both good looking vampires so it was inevitable.

At one point during those seven months Lissa came to me to try and make friends, saying she felt it was strange no longer having her best friend around her; I had to admit to myself that although I would never be able to be friends with her again, part of me was sad when I thought about the good times I had with her; finding out that my best friend had changed doesn't take away the memories I share with her. It also doesn't take away the fact that there will always be that blood bond between us, so I would always be able to feel what Lissa is feeling. Most of the time I could control it and I was glad of that; I was also glad of the fact that my mind had never wandered to Lissa when she was with Christian. I told Lissa I couldn't be friends with her again, and she hadn't even seemed that bothered anyway, and just nodded and walked away. I think I stood in the same spot for so long after she left, realising that her walking in the opposite way to the way I would be walking was ironic; I knew our friendship was gone for good, and her walking away emphasised this and that it was broken beyond repair.

Something good that happened in the seven months though was that Abe and Janine confessed their feelings for each other and became a couple. What I love about this is that they still act the same around each other, especially when I'm nearby, yet underneath the 'arguing' and teasing is a love that has gone through so much to be tested, yet has come out the other end almost neatly packaged – they weren't perfect, they still fall out, but I knew this time they wouldn't run away from each other, they would stay with each other and help each other through everything – the good and the hard times. Something that was never mentioned again between the three of us was both Rhonda and my dead dad and I was grateful for this; I had never met Abe's brother, so how could I feel a love for someone I hadn't met, a _stranger_? In my gut all I felt was that Janine Hathaway was my mom and that Abe was my dad – nothing would change that, not some man who wasn't even alive anymore. As for Rhonda, I knew she would always be a fragile topic with my parents, whether a day or a hunded days went past; she would also be the daughter that didn't get to lead the life she deserved and that's what will always be Janine and Abe's heartbreaking thoughts - that's why I knew it was better to leave it be.

Dimitri and his remaining strigiois fled, and no one knows where they went; so luckily for us, we had seven months of peace.

Something eventful however, that happened during the end of the next seven months, was Lissa finally giving birth to her baby boy. There were wild celebrations when she had her baby boy, after what I was told was a 'very hard delivery'. Christian hadn't been by her side because in the one second he hadn't been watching her, he had been checking some things 'unknown' out in Court. Lissa's helper, Jessica, had been with her through the whole process and it was just as her son's first cry was heard that Christian appeared having ran the whole way there. Lissa had not been amused.

I debated for a bit whether I should visit Lissa and the baby. Sure, Lissa wasn't in my good books anymore and I doubted I was in hers, but this _was_ Christian's baby and I just couldn't hide my curiosity. I wanted to know who this baby would look like, how Christian was feeling about his new found fatherhood and in some ways I wanted to know how Lissa was finding new found motherhood; the Lissa I had loved had been gentle and sweet, but at the same time she hadn't suited motherhood. I was wondering whether when her personality changed for the worse, whether her motherly nature had changed as well.

I hadn't been to the hospital since I spoke to Abe and Christian there, so going there felt weird and although it shouldn't have, because it was somewhere you went to get better, basically be repaired, I felt like this was the home to some important memories in my life. Don't ask me why, it puzzles me too. I asked the receptionist where the maternity ward was and when I was there, I had to wait for a bit so the nurse could ask if Lissa was okay with seeing me, and when she came back and confirmed that Lissa was okay for me being there, I went to see her as she laid in a bed surrounded by balloons and cards; there was also a box of chocolates laid open next to her too.

"Rose! I wasn't expecting you to come and visit me and baba." She grinned at me.

"Where's Christian?" I asked.

"Finally gone home!" She laughed. "Well he went to have a change and he's coming back later. He was with me and the baby for about fifteen minutes and then said he had to dash off." Lissa actually looked confused at this and I would have to agree with her. Why would Christian go off home so early after the continuous months of being by her side, and reminding everyone that he was determined to be there for his child?

"Can I see the baby?" I asked her; she seemed hesitant, but nodded slowly and pointed to the cot at the other end of the room. I walked slowly there, until eventually I saw some blue blankets and a baby wiggling about there. I looked down at him, fully expecting to see a baby that looked exactly like Christian or at least a mix of Christian and Lissa, but instead I nearly jumped back in shock. The baby looked like Adrian.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

I couldn't believe what I was seeing. How was this even possible? Okay, Lissa had slept with Adrian but...

I turned back to Lissa who was looking at me with worried eyes and it wasn't worry for my wellbeing; it looked like worry for what I would or already had found out. "What's wrong?" She asked me, looking nervous.

"Oh I was just wondering why the hell this baby looks like Adrian and _not _Christian?"

"It's a baby Rose, how can you even tell _who _he looks like?" I knew what she was trying to do – trying to take away my doubt by making the claim seem stupid; what's weird is that I used to believe this logic too, but there was no denying the truth: this baby was the spitting image of Adrian which meant after all these months and the agony I've had to go through, it turns out the baby isn't even Christian's after all. All the heartache was for _nothing._

"You horrible _bitch!"_ I more or less screamed as I was fully intent on launching myself at her; I was so furious beyond any realms of the imagination. Lissa shrieked back at the same time that Christian walked through the door, looking gobsmacked at the display I was showing. Seeing him there stopped me in my tracks.

"Rose, what are you doing?" He asked quietly in a confused voice.

"She was just about to attack me! Tell her to leave Christian." I looked over to Lissa at that moment I saw the game she was trying to pull; I saw the slight glitter of tears in her eyes and the way she was visibly shaking – although from my point of view, knowing the fake she is, I knew she was faking it this time too; being able to be inside her head helped as well and I could feel it as I slightly moved into her head for a split second to make sure I wasn't making a _complete _fool of myself. Sure, Christian and everyone else might not believe me when I reveal Lissa's lies, unless they already know, yet at least I knew the truth and because of that I knew I would always keep my dignity.

Christian looked at me, his eyes unreadable, and said, "Rose, I think you should leave." Not in the mood to argue, I nodded slowly and walked to the door.

Just as I was about to leave, I turned to Christian and said, "I need to have a word with you." Christian looked hesitant at first, but then nodded and started walking with me out the door. I knew that Lissa was angry about this and didn't want me trying to 'poison' his mind yet I knew it had to be said; whether Christian believed me was another question altogether, although I was slightly curious as to his feelings and motivation when he left so soon after the birth of Lissa's child.

We found ourselves back in the 'bad news' room and it really was like déjà vu; this hospital was becoming more of a 'revealing truth' and 'revealing feelings' meeting point and it was both creepy and weird. The only difference from the last time we were both in here, was that Christian wasn't the first to speak.

"The baby isn't yours." I said quickly, before I chickened out of telling him.

"I know." He surprised me by saying. However, I felt that it should have been obvious because the Christian I knew would never leave the mother of his child fifteen minutes after his child was born to go home and get changed – but part of me did feel that maybe that's what he was just doing, or at least something else bad had happened.

"Then why are you here?" I asked him, quite annoyed that he would still visit that bitch and her kid after the truth was revealed.

"I've been with Lissa since she told me about the child, how can I walk away now? I've gotten attached now and I can't just walk away. I have to be there for him; he doesn't have a dad."

"And whose fault is that? Lissa is partly the reason Adrian is dead and she's used you because you're reliable and you wouldn't walk away from a child that you thought was yours. She might have been sleeping with Dimitri while she was with you too, but it doesn't matter how many times Dimitri says the baby is his, he would never be a good father to her son."

"What you're saying it useless Rose; I'm not abandoning Kyle no matter what you say. I suggest you leave now and leave Lissa, Kyle and me in peace." With that he stormed out of the door. I was slightly stunned at the name Lissa and Christian had decided for Lissa's child, but that was for a moment because the next thing I knew I felt tears form in my eyes and I left the room and left the hospital before they were falling down in rapid succession.

Later that night, I found myself pacing outside my bedroom at Court; after the strigoi attack, it had taken some time for things to get back to normal, but it had been possible and although most people in Court were still quite nervous and the Guardian count had been increased, it didn't stop that fear that more strigoi could invade and attack them again any day.

Anyway, the reason why I was pacing was because I couldn't get the short conversation with Christian out of my head. I was puzzled as to why he would willingly give up his pride for a child that he knew wasn't is; if it had been a couple of years into the future then I would have understood, yet the baby had only just been born and he hadn't even been there for the birth. Sure, he had been there for Lissa during her pregnancy, but that was it.

When I thought about Lissa my insides squirmed because of how angry I was at her; it was like she had been out to destroy my life: she hadn't come forward during Adrian's trial which had led to a full panel of 'guilitys' and Adrian's demise, something that could have been avoided. I felt my eyes well up at thinking about Adrian; I knew he would always have a place in my heart and I thought back months ago when Christian had asked me whether I had been in love with him and I thought that maybe I actually had been; not to the extent I had been for a time with Dimitri and the way I now felt for Christian, but the love had been there – I couldn't deny that and maybe that was partly why I felt more upset than someone who had lost a friend; I also felt sad knowing that Lissa had robbed Adrian's chance to be a father to his child.

Next, she had led Christian to believe he was the father of her child which meant any chance of Christian and I becoming a couple was second to none and that when we did finally find out the truth, it was too late – at least in Christian's eyes.

One thing I didn't want to think about but couldn't help myself was the time when I had realised Lissa had slept with Dimitri – I had really thought Dimitri had loved me just as much, if not more, than what I felt for him yet when I had seen them sleeping together; the look of passion written on each of their faces confirmed that any feelings I thought Dimitri had for me were in fact not there and it also confirmed that Lissa wasn't the friend I thought she was – the events after that made that fact even more certain. It was like a two for one deal; finding out the two most important people in my life weren't who I thought they were at the same time and that these two people then later went on to frame and destroy one of my best friends and then cause his death. It still angered me that only Lissa, Christian and I knew it was Dimitri that had killed Queen Tatiana and anyone else Dimitri had trusted with his secret.

The last thing I thought of was my sighting of Queen Tatiana when Dimitri and his strigoi had kept me, Lissa and Christian hostage. I hadn't had a chance to think about it because of the events that had happened in my life since then up until those dreadful seven months when I hardly saw Christian because he was with Lissa and her baby bump and my mom was too busy on her Guardian missions and when she wasn't on one of those, she was usually with Abe. Although I was happy for them, since they had become a couple, they only had eyes for each other a lot of the time. I supposed that was down to the fact that it was like the 'honeymoon period' for them and eventually when it became the norm for them, they would have more attention to give to me and everybody else really. Seven months was a long holiday period, but with the lack of time off my mom and dad have, seven months is nothing. Obviously my mom was fully alert when she was on those Guardian missions but away from them she was a nightmare – she still acted like herself but was a lot more happy, which was quite annoying sometimes. However, we did have brief moments to the three of us where we discussed life and such and in those times I forgot how different it was having my parents together.

Anyway, in the time I had to think over Tatiana, I came to the conclusion that the reason she came to me was to warn me; possibly from Lissa's games or maybe she wanted to protect me from Dimitri and the strigois. Part of me kept thinking that maybe she intended for me to faint because maybe something worse would have happened if she hadn't appeared and allowed me to faint. That's when I thought that seeing the dead was both lucky and a curse rolled into one. I was lucky because like with Tatiana and even Mason months back just after he died, I was helped to be kept safe from dying – I wasn't extinct from death, just the risk of dying was less significant. However, seeing the dead was also a curse; there were times I was forced to help people who had died but refused to move on to their next lives and there were times that it was overwhelming seeing a lot of dead people; but the worst curse to it was meaning I was linked to Lissa for the rest of my life until either I died or Lissa died.

I knew I should have been thankful to Lissa for saving me from permanent death and bringing me back to life and not realising she was linking us together, but the pain she had caused me far outweighed the good she had done for me. She might be the reason I was living and breathing now, but I knew I would never be able to forgive her, especially for Adrian's death.

Trying to block those horrible thoughts from my mind, I finally slipped back into my bedroom.

As I was climbing out of my clothes to put my pyjamas on (I was getting tired for bed now, and just wanted to climb into bed and slip into unconsciousness) I heard the door being knocked on. I crept to the door (I was reluctant to open it just in case it was Mia or Eddie coming to see if I was okay and persuade me to come out, which I didn't want to do) and then heard the sharp voice of Christian.

"Rose, please open up, I have to see you." Feeling shocked and nervous, I opened the door, using my shirt to cover up my chest. (I only had a bra and knickers on.) Christian was slightly flustered when he saw me like this, but I saw him take me in admirably and I wasn't stupid: the sexual tension between us was like an overheated room.

"What do you want?" I asked him.

"I hate her; I freaking _hate _her. What she's put you through..." He was rambling now, and I also wasn't fooled when he tried to blink back tears. Christian was the type of guy that when he was so mad he actually wanted to cry – he always tried to stop himself from getting this angry before it got that bad though. I also thought that it was an emotional toll on him finding out Lissa's lies and so he must have been quite stressed out. In that moment I wanted to hug him, but I didn't.

"Are you talking about Lissa?" I asked him, like I didn't know.

"Yes. I-I wanted to be a part of Kyle's love but then I realised that he isn't mine and that you're more important to me than some child she had while being slutty. What I've put you through... Rose, can you forgive me?" I was overcome with emotion, but I kept my facial expression indifferent: I wanted to forgive him but he must have forgotten who I was; I was Rose Hathaway and I wasn't the type of girl that allowed a man to walk all over me. If I forgave him in this moment then sure, we would have sex and be happy for the rest of today and tomorrow, yet it would also mean that Christian would feel he has the right to be able to break my heart again and give him a sense of power over me which I couldn't allow; if anyone was going to wear the pants in our relationship then it would be _me. _By working his hardest to get me, he would have a sense of achievement but he would also appreciate what he had and wouldn't dare hurt me again.

"No." That simple word could have cute ice, I knew, and I saw the look of shock cross Christian's features at my answer. Ha! He really thought I would just run into his arms and this whole disaster could be brushed under a carpet and be forgotten. The past couldn't be changed but the future could and I was determined to make sure it was as well. "I mean, I want to be with you Christian but I can't allow you to break my heart again. All these months that you've put me through all this pain; I think I've felt more sad than actually happy and I don't like that because I've always had this notion that guys shouldn't be able to hurt me, because guys aren't worth it, yet I've let you get under my skin. Now I will ask you to leave Christian, I want to go to sleep."

I walked him to the door, almost dragging him there because he was reluctant to go and when we got to the door, Christian tried to stop me from pushing him out the door as he turned to look at me, deep in my eyes and try and convince me that I was making a mistake. Before he had a chance to say anything though, I crushed my lips against him, flicking my tongue into his month and exploring, feeling his teeth against my teeth, then I felt the slight pain in my bottom lip as Christian slightly bit there; the pain turned to passion and desire though and I could feel a groan coming on. To stop it from coming, I pulled away from his mouth rather reluctantly myself and pushed him out the door. He didn't relent this time because he was too dazed from my unexpected kiss.

I leant against the doorframe, and said in a flirty voice, "Bye Christian." I then winked at him and as I stood up from leaning against the doorframe and was about the close the door, I heard him say very quietly that I was a tease; I secretly smiled as I shut the door. I realised what he meant as I must have dropped my shirt without me realising it at some point during the kiss, add that to the fact I had pulled away from him quickly when things were started to get heated between us, then I would have to agree with him.

I went to bed, feeling more content and happy than I had in a long time, and I closed my eyes as soon as my head hit my pillow. Happy dreams to me.

The next day when I went to one of the local cafes to have something for breakfast, I bumped into someone I least expected. "Tasha?" I asked the vampire, stunned. Tasha looked at me and was clearing stunned too, before she waved me over to where she was sitting at a table in the corner; the cafe I was in was also the one I had been arrested in all that time ago for the murder of Queen Tatiana.

"Sit down Rose." She left no room for argument as she removed her handbag from the other chair at the table, and I sat down next to her. "How are you Rose?"

"I'm good. Are you here to see Christian?" I asked her; I wasn't in the mood to talk about my own feelings.

Tasha looked shifty, as she said, "Sorta, yeah." Not elaborating either.

We sat in an awkward silence, neither of us not having a clue what to say. Tasha was eating a chocolate muffin, and in the time we didn't speak, looking at the muffin made me realise how hungry I was; my stomach confirmed that as I heard and felt the rumble of my belly, and saying "Excuse me for a moment" to Tasha who nodded, I went and bought myself a chocolate muffin too. I sat back next to Tasha and I ate the muffin at a really fast rate much to Tasha's amusement.

"So what are you up to today Rose?" Tasha finally asked. "Are you going to see Christian? I know he would love to see you. I've spoken to him and he's told me about Lissa, the baby and you; he does love you Rose. I really think you should speak to him; he would really like that."

Feeling uncomfortable talking about Christian, I tried to take the attention off me by asking: "I'm not sure yet. Anyway, what are you doing here Tasha? Really? You saying you're 'sorta' seeing Christian which makes me suspicious, so what's the real motivator for being here?"

She looked hesitant to tell me, but eventually she looked like she had decided to risk it and said, "I'm going to be adopting Lissa's son." Oh no.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

I stared at her in a stunned silence and thought _and so the plot thickens._

"What?" I asked her.

"You heard me Rose; I know it's hard to believe and I mean I'm shocked too, but Lissa came to me a month ago and said that she didn't want to be a mother to her baby and that she wasn't ready for motherhood. Me, on the other hand, _was _but I can't have children biologically and I've been trying to adopt for so long. I know you didn't know that, and Christian didn't even know that but I didn't what either of you to be a part of my problems when you both had problems of your own."

"What I want to know, is how you were planning on taking Lissa's baby with Christian by her side? And why would you do that to Christian when he's supposed to be your nephew?" Tasha had a pained look on her face and it infuriated me that she had that there. Christian was her nephew, and Tasha was also Christian's only living relative yet she treated him like this? I was so mad on Christian's behalf it was unbelievable. "Lissa was p-planning on keeping the baby for a month with Christian, and then giving him to me and she was going to pretend he was kidnapped if anyone asked. She was then going to compel Christian into thinking he had been kidnapped and could never be found and she was planning on sending a search party out for him for a couple of weeks and then saying that he was obviously long gone and not to bother."

The more words flew out of her mouth, the more my mouth widened in shock. I had never heard anything so sick and twisted in my life. "And you thought this was _normal_? Tasha, this is a _baby _we're talking about, not some toy. Lissa can't pretend he's been kidnapped because she's afraid to admit to not wanting her child. I don't care if you're planning on 'adopting' as you call it, Kyle, because in my eyes at this moment in time I don't think Kyle should be with either Lissa _or _you. A child needs security and I don't think you could provide that."

Tasha actually looked like she was going to cry. "Rose, please listen."

"Why did you tell me anyway?"

"You asked."

"I know, but I wasn't expecting anything major like this; especially when you decided on this deal at a time when we all thought Christian was the father; I think that's what makes the situation worse."

"I told you Rose – when you want something so bad, you will do anything to get it and screw the consequences or other people's feelings; sometimes you have to put yourself first."

"Now this is when I know you have never been in love because that's where you're wrong – when I was in love with Dimitri, the only thing that mattered to me was his protection and happiness and now the same applies to Christian; I would do anything for him, and even though I felt like my heart was breaking into a million pieces when he decided to stay with Lissa and her baby, eventually I would have accepted it because if that's what Christian had wanted than that's all that matters."

Tasha looked slightly stunned at my speech.

"I understand what you're saying Rose, but this is completely different; like you said, it's a _child _we're talking about, not some piece of meat or even someone you're in love with. I'm sure Rose that one day you will have lots of cute little children that you adore with Christian or anyone else that you might end up with, but that can't happen to me. My face isn't as beautiful as it used to be, I've never been able to conceive a child and I never will be and I've never been in love; I've lonely Rose and by having a child, it takes some of that ache away."

"You can't use a child just because you're lonely Tasha. What about when he's a teenager and he's running riot round the cities, and when he eventually moves out? What are you going to do then? That's right Tasha: you will be lonely again. I'm sorry, but I can't let you go through with this; this child isn't just Lissa's but Adrian's as well and he was my best friend. I'm not going to allow some depressed woman to look after his son and let the world think he was kidnapped because his biological mother was a psycho." Not waiting for her response, I scrambled out of my chair and sped walked to the door not looking back as I went.

I was fully intent on visiting Lissa at the hospital when I walked straight into Christian.

"Rose? Are you okay?" He asked me, concerned. His concern overwhelmed me in that moment and I burst into tears. Christian wrapped his arms around me shushing me and telling me that everything would be okay. I didn't believe him but in that moment comfort off someone else made me feel safe and I didn't think about Adrian, Dimitri, Lissa, Tasha or Kyle in that moment; it was just me and the person consoling me. I mean I knew it was Christian, but it wouldn't have mattered who had hugged me then because I was in such a vulnerable mood and so comfort was something I needed desperately off _anyone. _"What's this about?" He eventually asked me in a soft voice.

"It's just everything. Why is everything always so hard? Why can't it be easy? Why does my life feel like a permanent stress?" I knew I was feeling sorry for myself, but the sudden burst of tears had awakened the old fears I had locked away at the back of my memory.

I began to tremble and then the next thing I knew, Christian had gathered me into his arms, so he was carrying me, and was walking in the opposite direction to where I was going and was taking me in the direction of where his room was.

We were both quiet on the way there, and when we arrived, Christian gently placed me on his (huge) double bed so that my head was resting on some comfy cushions; Christian then sat beside me.

"Please explain Rose." He said gently, as he looked at me and he used one of his hands to pull a bit of my hair back that had fallen straight down my face. He briefly placed that hand on the side of my face and rubbed, and then pulled back, leaning down to look at me once again.

"Okay, maybe my crying fit was a bit extreme but I'm just sick of everything I'm going through and actually being in a sick world; do you know what I heard today before when I was with Tasha?"

"What?" He asked gently.

"That apparently Tasha is planning on adopting Lissa's baby but even before that Lissa was apparently going to pretend he's been kidnapped when she hands her son over to Tasha; this was all arranged while you were still by her side as well."

"Tasha said that?" Christian sounded hurt which was understandable; Tasha was his only living relative yet she had betrayed him.

"Yes and it didn't sound like she was lying either."

"But Tasha wouldn't do that to me; it's just not _her;_ this can't be true. I've got to speak to her." He scrambled off the bed and walked to the door. "Will you be okay Rose? I don't want to leave you but I really need to speak to Tasha about this."

I didn't want to tell him to stay, because I really did want him to stay but I also knew that if I was him then I would want to do the same thing too. Although I knew Christian believed me, he still needed to hear it from the horse's mouth. "I'll be fine; go and speak to your Aunt." He smiled at me, and quickly ran to my side as he gave me a kiss on the cheek. He then walked back to the door and out of it, fully intent on speaking to his last living relative about her betrayal. Me on the other hand, had quickly climbed off the bed as soon as he had left as I was determined to go to the hospital to speak to Lissa about this.

Lissa was asleep when I went to see her. The nurses mustn't have been aware of Lissa and my 'disagreement' the last time I was here because my name was still in the 'allowed visitors' book and they nodded at me as I walked past them to Lissa's room.

Seeing Lissa asleep, I went over to where Kyle was asleep in his crib and I marvelled at how beautiful he was; with a mixture of Adrian's eyes and some of Lissa's features, he was going to be a heart stopper when he was older. I hated the thought that he would never know how amazing his father was, and I wondered how he would feel when he was older and found out that Lissa was partly responsible for his death – if he ever found out.

Since Tasha's revelation, I was worried about Kyle's future, because there was a part of me that really did care about him; he was a part of Adrian and that was enough of a reason to care about him.

"Rose?" I turned around and saw Lissa gazing at me, with a cynical look on her face.

"Hi Lissa." I walked over to the chair next to her bed, and sat down. "Care to tell me why Tasha is adopting Kyle?"

I watched Lissa's expression, slightly amused as she tried to pretend this was news to her. I was beginning to think all wasn't what it seemed in regards to Tasha and Kyle.

"What are you talking about? I would never give up my baby, especially to someone I hardly know." For a second I actually believed her.

"Lissa, quit with the games. Tasha told me that you both have been plotting for months; that you were going to pretend Kyle had been kidnapped so you didn't have to face up to the fact that you are a Royal moroi yet you don't want to raise nor see your child."

Lissa actually looked frightened now, and the next thing I knew she had pressed the buzzer next to her bed. A nurse flew into the room a couple of seconds later and said, "What's wrong Lissa?"

"Can you ask Rose to leave, she's making me feel overwhelmed and stressed out, and I would like Kyle and I to have some sleep."

The nurse looked in my direction. "I would like to ask you to leave on behalf of Lissa."

"Okay I'm going." I said as I stormed out of the room, not looking back.

I went back to my room at Court, forgetting all about Christian and being in his room just before I went to see Lissa. When I arrived at my room, Christian was leaning against the door frame. When he saw me coming up to the room, he dashed over to me.

"Rose! Where have you been?"

"I went to see Lissa about Kyle and Tasha." I replied.

"Why did you do that?" He asked.

"Because it had to be asked; what I've – we've – been through these past months is all because of how selfish she's been. I thought it was just me that she had something against yet I've realised all she cares about is herself – she doesn't even care about her son. Anyway, that doesn't matter; what's more important is what happened with Tasha."

"I went to see her, and she started rambling on about needing to adopt a child and not being able to have one biologically, and I let her go on and on about. It was only when she mentioned Dimitri and Lissa sleeping together that I knew something wasn't right; she shouldn't have known about that – the only people that knew about that was you, me, any strigoi Dimitri has told and of course Lissa and Dimitri."

"And?"

"I realised that she had been compelled to say everything she had said. It takes a very strong and powerful moroi to be able to compel someone as well as they have with Tasha, and so the only moroi that are capable of that kind of magic have to be spirit users. How many spirit users are there in Court?"

The ball finally got rolling. "So Lissa compelled her? Why would she do that?"

"I'm not completely sure, but I'm going on a hunch – Lissa never stopped telling me how much she loved me during her pregnancy, and being the guy that I am I always said that I loved her in return." When he said this I felt jealousy course through my veins because although I knew they weren't together anymore, it still hurt thinking of Christian and Lissa together in any capacity. "Maybe it was something in my gut, but I felt like she would do anything to keep me; she was very possessive towards me and if a girl even looked in my direction slightly, she would more or less go in a jealous rage. She always blamed it on her hormones but I wasn't convinced; I mean, sure, part of it I thought could come down to her hormones but also she was just acting like she did when she _wasn't _pregnant. When she wasn't pregnant, she was more of a milder version of her pregnant self.

Anyway, I remember Lissa telling me once about a year ago about how she would never have children because she didn't feel maternal and she liked feeling independent. I put it down to our age because even _I _didn't feel paternal at all and I just wanted to enjoy being young; most people in my family have children at a young age, but I didn't want it to be like that with me – maybe in the future I will have children but as of right now; not a chance. I suppose that's why I've shocked myself into how much I had gotten used to the role of 'dad'. Lissa knew that if her baby was 'kidnapped' then I wouldn't leave her; how can you leave someone when something as awful as that happens? One thing I know though is that this is just another thing to add to the collection of what makes Lissa _evil._ One thing she didn't compel Tasha on is the fact that Tasha really _can't _have kids biologically, it was down to an accident when she was younger and it's because of that that any shred of respect I had for Lissa still has gone out of the window. The compulsion will wear off eventually but it won't take the memories away; this could potentially destroy Tasha."

I stared at Christian, taking everything in that he had just told me and I pondered how someone who looked as sweet as Lissa could actually be the complete opposite; it was true what people say: you shouldn't judge a book by its' cover because you can be pleasantly or not so pleasantly surprised once you open it and read it. In this case, everything I had thought I had known about Lissa had been a lie. She had not only betrayed me, but also Christian, her son and of course Tasha. I couldn't help but think her betrayal of Tasha was the worst.

"I don't want Lissa to get away with this, Rose. She was treading a thin line when she was bad mouthing you off, but then she crossed the line by making me think that her baby was also mine and also bringing Tasha into this horrible mess."

"I don't want her to get away with it either." I replied softly.

"What are we going to do about it?"

"Revenge?" I said jokingly.

Christian said seriously, "Maybe that's a good thing." I looked at him in silence for a couple of minutes and then I nodded without saying anything.

We stared at each other for another few minutes and the next thing I knew, Christian had walked up to me with a strange expression on his face. He looked into my face and I saw the raw emotions on his face because of the current events; I wanted, desperately, to wipe that sadness from his eyes and wrap my arms around his waist; to tell him that everything was going to be okay and that he didn't have to keep thinking about it. In that moment I realised I didn't even care about Lissa anymore and the misery she had inflicted on me. All I cared about was _this _moment with Christian; _this _emotionally charged moment.

Unexpectedly, Christian leaned down and brushed his lips against mine; he pulled back and said, "Sorry, I shouldn't have done that." Waving my finger onto his lips briefly to silence him, I pulled it back and stood on my tip toes and kissed him back. Christian looked mildly shocked when I pulled back, but the difference with when Christian kissed me first and then me with him, was that I didn't say sorry – why say sorry to something that you actually weren't sorry about?

I wrapped my arms around his neck, and leaned forward so my face was resting on his chest for a minute. Christian began a trail of butterfly kisses on my neck and then came back to kissing me on the mouth, until he trailed more kisses along my neck; I then realised what this was all about. Christian wanted to _bite _me and I realised I wanted him to as well.

I looked at him and nodded and after a brief hesitation, Christian extended his fangs and then bit into my neck. At first the pain was excruciating, and then it turned into a pain/passion type feeling, and I heard myself groan. Christian gathered me into his arms and crushed me to him, as he continued to suck on my neck and I felt the endorphins kick in.

Amazingly, Christian had managed to remove all of my clothes while he continued to feed on me, and what I loved was the fact that he was still fully clothed. Feeling my breasts against his shirt allowed them to become fully erect and I wasn't clueless to Christian's erection that was pressed against me through his trousers. It was the most erotic moment of my life.


	17. Chapter 17

_**Author's note: **__Okay I had to change the rating to M because of this chapter. The first 700 words is smut and then near to the end there is a lot of violence, drug use and bad language; this is my first attempt at smut like this as well so if it's bad please don't kill me! Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter and please review.:)_

**Chapter 17**

The next thing I knew, Christian starting sucking on each of my breasts, biting slightly. The pleasure/pain feeling I got was too much to bear, I groaned and almost squealed at the amazing sensations I felt.

Christian pulled back, and he grinned at me as he pulled his shirt over his head and let it land on the floor beside my clothes. He then crushed me to him again, and thrust his tongue into my mouth and we let them meld together, working in and out. He eventually pulled his tongue out of my mouth and began kissing his way down my body, sucking on my breasts again and then working his way further down. When he reached my canal, he pushed two of his fingers into me and I felt my eyes water at first from the unexpected sensation. He began pulling his fingers in and out for what felt like hours of pure pleasure, until he pulled them out for the last time and sucked on those two fingers, licking my juices away and enjoying the taste.

Not wanting him to have all the control in our fun, before he knew what was happening, I slipped one of my hands into his pants and squeezed his rather large erection. Christian groaned, and grabbed my arm; I thought at first he was grabbing it to pull it away, until I realised he was holding it in a strong grip to steady himself from the raw desire he was feeling. Feeling his erection, I realised he was getting harder if that was possible.

I removed my hand from his pants and I more or less tore his pants from his body, until we were both standing in front of each other, naked, and admiring each other's body. Christian had a small scar right near his belly button, that wasn't easy to see from a long distance, and could only be seen being this close and this intimate. I kissed it lightly, much to Christian's shock.

"Do you like that?" I asked him as he looked at me with a puzzled expression.

"Yes; it's just that... no other girl I've been with has ever been able to notice it, never mind kiss it." I grinned, before I grabbed his erection again, and as I squeezed it, I bent down until I was level and then I thrust it into my mouth. Just like when Christian had pushed two of his fingers inside me, in and out, in and out, this time Christian's cock was flung into my mouth, in and out, in and out, but at a much slower rate because both Christian and I wanted to enjoy it. I also loved the fact that Christian's groans could have woken up a whole neighbourhood, but he didn't same to care; same as me. Christian soon came in my mouth, and I swallowed the cum, enjoying the taste of Christian; he still lingered in my mouth even after the last bits of him had fallen down my throat.

After I had removed Christian's cock from my mouth, I slowly stood up and smiled at him teasingly and then the next thing I knew Christian had moved me back at an alarming rate against the wall; all I heard was my resounding thud as my back hit the wall, but with the amount of strength I had gained over the years and being able to get used to pain should I ever experience it, the impact was only slightly hurtful.

Christian began kissing me more urgently this time, biting my lower lip as well and drawing blood – he slowly licked it away soon after and he also began trailing butterfly kisses along my neck again. Being a multi tasker, he was also able to position his cock at my entrance, and thrust inside me.

He was almost brutal with me, thrusting in and out, faster and faster, as we both groaned together, sweat foaming on both our brows. We didn't move from our position against the wall, and we stayed like this as we came together and I felt Christian slip out of me.

He kissed me briefly on the head as he moved lazy strands of my hair out of my face, and then he picked me up and took me to my bed where we carried on our games into the night.

###

I woke up the next day with my head rested on Christian's bare chest. Christian was snoozing lightly, and I smiled looking at him. No one was perfect but I found myself thinking that love is when you see something or someone imperfect perfectly. Christian had a small scar near his belly button which he had gained as a child when he was playing with other children at the age of six, and he also had another small one on his back which had been caused by a similar experience as a child.

There was nothing about Christian I didn't like; I know I sound cheesy right now, but that's what love seemed to do for me. I couldn't think of anything bad that happened in life, all I could think of was this moment with Christian and hoping it could stay like this for a long time.

It was just as Christian was waking up that I remembered my pact to myself not to sleep with Christian until he earned it. That sure went out the window!

"Hey gorgeous." He said to me, with a sexy grin on his face. He grabbed my face with both his hands and gave me a sloppy kiss. During the kiss, I felt his really huge morning erection sticking into me. Christian noticed me noticing. "Seems I can't get enough of you."

We pulled the covers over us, giggling, and made love again.

###

Later that day, both Christian and I went out to the cinema; it sounds overly romantic, but I hadn't been able to do anything fun for a long time, so this was like an escape route for both of us. For months our lives had been filled with stress.

The film I wanted to see was 'Paranormal Activity 2' as I'd seen the first one and I hadn't exactly found it frightening, but it was interesting and I have this habit of having to see the sequels to movies, even if I didn't like the original. Also, I'm a big fan of horror films and this film had been having a lot of praise from everyone I knew that had watched it.

Christian wasn't that keen on the choice of movie, but he didn't say anything; I could just tell from the way he acted and because of this I think I loved him more.

Throughout the film, he kept looking at me sideways to make sure I was okay, not realising that more drama happened in my life than a horror film that 90% of people in the cinema were screaming at. He put his arm around my neck and I leaned my head into his chest briefly, before pulling away to get more comfortable to watch the film.

For the rest of the evening we carried on having fun together and although we had set out to talk about Lissa and Kyle, we never did. I was glad about that because I hadn't had as much fun in a long time so it felt good to not think of reality. I also liked how we acted a lot like a cheesy couple. I mean, I never thought that me, Rose Hathaway, could ever be in a relationship that could be named the 'c' word.

Anyway, Christian stayed at my room in Court that night (I still hadn't stayed at his room yet, and I was itching to) and while he was sleeping, I kissed his forehead and then made my way out of the room to just have a walk. Now that I had the time to think, I was trying to block out the things I hated in that moment, but it proved useless; it was so hard to not think about what was going to happen to Kyle when even though I had seen him twice and only briefly I was coming to care about him a lot; he was a part of Adrian and for that I would probably always care about him.

As I was walking, I bumped into someone I should have known I wouldn't see the back of – Dimitri. When he knew I had seen him, he smiled and it was a smile that at one time used to give me butterflies even thinking about it, but now it seemed to have a sinister edge to it and made me want to throw up.

"Hello Roza. None time no see." He smirked.

"What do you want?" I asked, trying to come off as indifferent.

"You." That simple word sent chills through my body.

"Well you can't have me." I replied as I began to turn around and head quickly back to my room.

I felt Dimitri grab hold of one of my arms and he whispered into my ear, "Not so quick Roza. I suggest you come with me willingly, otherwise I will have to take you with me forcibly, and maybe risk the people you care about's lives – if you get my drift." I could hear the humour in his voice, which made me sick to the stomach.

I grabbed hold of his hand that was holding my arm and pulled it back. I faced him and said, "Don't you dare threaten me. I'm not scared of you."

"Well that's where you're wrong Roza. You _should _be scared. Especially for the well fair of Christian, your mom and Dad - or should I say Uncle or Step Dad?" He laughed for a second and in that single moment where he thought he had me hooked, I pulled my hand into a fist and punched him in the face; this only fuelled his anger, and he shot out trying to grab hold of me by the waist, but failed when I kicked him in the groin.

I began running at a fast rate back to my room as Dimitri keeled over in pain, and just as I was rounding the bend and was nearing my room, I felt someone's arms twist around my waist. I began kicking my legs about to get free and I tried to kick whoever held me in the groin, but it didn't work and so I began to scream for help. However, no sooner had I opened my mouth, did a hand shoot out to cover my mouth; I tried to bite the hand but again it was no use. Although I knew I had no chance, I never gave up so I still kicked about even though I knew it was useless.

"Now now." Said whoever held me, and I realised it was a strigoi. His eyes blazed red and I could tell he was hungry and thirsted for my blood. The thought made me feel sick.

"Take her to the car. You know what to do." Dimitri said as he appeared, still bent over in agony, but I could tell the pain was starting to wear off.

"Okay Sir." The man slapped me across the face before I had any chance to do anything and the impact sent me into shock, and as I felt my eyes wanting to close, I refused to allow myself and kept trying and trying to keep them open, until I realised it was a battle I hadn't won.

###

I woke up feeling dizzy and realised that I must have been drugged; the only time I ever felt like this was when I took drugs and this was one of the side effects.

I tried to move my head around to see my surroundings to be able to make out how to make an escape route but I felt really light headed and it was also pitch black; I couldn't make out anything at all. Feeling quite panicky, I tried to stay calm because I knew that if Dimitri or one of his minions appeared, they would feel my fear and possibly see it and they would use that against me.

"Feeling okay?" I suddenly heard Dimitri's voice from behind me and I tensed up.

"Like you care." I replied.

"Of course I care Roza. You're the love of my life." He said the last part sarcastically as he burst out laughing. "I still can't believe how much you were in love with me. You really believed all that crap I spun you." His words were becoming muffled as he struggled to control his laughter and trying to speak to me at the same time. One word came to mind in this conversation and that was _cruel. _

"Oh shut the fuck up." I failed to hide my anger.

All of a sudden, I felt Dimitri behind me and he grabbed my hair and pulled my head backwards. He whispered in my ear: "Don't you _dare _speak to me like that. You have absolutely no right."

Trying not to think about the pure agony I was in, I knew Dimitri had already heard my slight grunt of pain, I replied: "I don't give a shit about what you think and what you believe. You're delusional if you think that just because you kidnapped me _again _I will be at your beck and call."

I didn't expect what came next.

"You want to talk about control Roza? I will give you control." I heard him pull something out of his pocket, a packet of some sort, and at the same time I heard him light a lighter so we could see in the dark. "There's no way for you being able to leave here Roza without dying first. We're in a ship in the middle of the Atlantic with freezing cold temperatures, and not hard for you to die." I tried to keep my fear in check, as I realised I was probably going to die either way if what Dimitri was saying was the truth.

Dimitri flung the packet I had heard him take out of his pocket and made sure I had full eye sight of it. "See these? This is what put you to sleep. You were in and out of it up until we reached my car at Court, and I couldn't cope with listening to you drone on; I was beginning to get bored of it – you realise how tedious you are sometimes?" I didn't answer and he continued. "Anyway, I've been buying off a dealer friend for years and so I had the necessary requirement to put you to sleep for a bit – at least until we arrived at our destination; this gorgeous packet you're looking at is the finest drugs you will ever taste and can also be lethal. I always use them for the people that piss me off the most. Therefore, I'm going to use them for _you. Again. _You're a strong one, you are. I'm still amazed you survived them. Only about 10% of people do the first time around and the second time round..." I tensed up again as he placed one of his cold hands on my bare shoulder. "You get my drift?" I nodded, not knowing what else to do and then I felt him open my mouth (My hands were tied to something and so I couldn't stop him. I could have tried to keep my mouth closed but it wasn't the easiest thing to do in the world) and pour a huge amount of white powder into my mouth. I didn't want to swallow it, but again this wasn't easy and the horrible powder went down my throat without my control.

Unlucky old me, I didn't have any fun with the drugs controlling my body.

###

The second time I woke up, I wasn't in the same place before; this time I could see where I was and I was tied to an uncomfortable chair on what was the deck of a huge boat or ship or whatever you wanted to call it. There was sea going for miles and the air was chilly. I didn't doubt that what Dimitri had told me before was definitely true.

Feeling dizzy from the drugs and not wanting to recall how I felt and what happened while the drugs were controlling me, I closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep.

I realised that I was unable to do this because I felt so uncomfortable and all I wanted to do was wrap my arms around my body at the deterioration of the last remaining warmth leaving my body.

It also didn't help when I knew Dimitri and his strigoi minions had seen me awaken from my slumber.

"What are we going to do with her?" I heard one of the strigoi's ask Dimitri.

"Does it really matter?" I heard Dimitri barked back.

"We can't keep her here forever. I'm getting hungry." The strigoi replied trying to keep his anger under control.

"I don't give a fuck how you feel. Just do what I tell you and everyone will be okay." I heard Dimitri say to the strigoi, not unaware of his anger building. After he had said this, he ignored the murderous glance the strigoi gave him and he walked over to stand in front of me.

"Hello again Roza. Have fun?" He smirked.

"Like you care." I spat back; Dimitri just laughed.

"You can be hilarious when you want to be Roza. One of your many charms. You continue to surprise me though. Surviving the drugs again?"

"Whatever." As my anger lifted, Dimitri's amusement seemed to grow. I hated him so much, especially when I had told him countless times about my drug use in my younger days and I was beginning to feel that the only reason he was giving me these drugs was to try and get me to remember those dark days in my past. He was _evil _to want me to go through that again.

"You should speak nicely to the last breathing person you will ever see." Seeing my confusion, he elaborated. "I don't plan on keeping you on this boat alive. Either you will die at the hands of the strigoi or me. Either way, you won't be getting off this boat alive."

"You're bluffing."

He lifted one eyebrow. "Am I?"

"What was the point of kidnapping me then? What did you have to gain?"

As he ignored me, I saw him look at someone behind me and I saw his nod. Next thing I knew, someone had come up behind me and untied my arms. When I got of my chair, ready to run and find a way of getting off this boat safely – although I knew this was probably not going to happen. I was pretty much stuck here – Dimitri grabbed me and put my arms safely behind my back in a death like grip.

"Oh no you don't." He said as he stroked my hair from my face for a second.

He led me to the side of the boat, and I looked down to see the many waves lapping at the boat furiously. I knew the sea was freezing, because the cold air hit me in the face.

"See down there Rose? It looks nice don't you think?" Then he threw me overboard and I fell right into the sea.

As predicted, the sea was freezing and it was also moving at a fast rate and I was finding it hard to keep my head above water. My breathing was becoming shallow and my body couldn't take the cold temperatures the water was currently holding. I also saw the boat I had just vacated beginning to move and I realised it was moving in the direction that I was in.

Trying to move out of the way, I felt panicky and also, every time I thought I was finally at a safe distance from the boat, the water moved me back into the position I was just in. I saw the boat gliding towards me, and I actually felt tears in my eyes – my fear felt so strong – and before I knew what was happening, the boat was moving above me and there was nowhere for me to breath; I was currently under water, the oxygen I required for my body not there and I knew I was dying.

Both the freezing cold sea and the lack of oxygen did it for me, and I felt my body starting to switch off and falling further and further into the sea.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: I'm so sorry this is a really late update, I've been really busy with college, christmas etc. However, I've finally got it here and I hope you enjoy it! Be warned that there's bad language and lots of angst - some of which will be shocking. Let me know what you think anyways. Also, what did you guys think of Last Sacrifice? Personally, I don't think it's the best of the series and I was quite disappointed with how Richelle Mead handled Rose and Adrian and the way Rose treated him in the end. Let me know! And on with the chapter...**

**Chapter 18**

It was dark. Well, I thought it was dark until I realised it was just that my eyes were closed.

I found myself sat next to a fountain and it was daylight; the sun was overhead, burning the ground and the only sound in the daylight was the trickle of water coming from the fountain. I was in the ugly clothes I had been in on the ship, and as I stood up, I felt disorientated. It was as I stood up that I saw Mason, of all people, walking towards me with Queen Tatiana in tow.

"Rose? Are you okay?" Mason whispered to me as he stood before me, and Tatiana was just a little behind him, looking serious as I remembered her when she was alive.

"Where am I?" I asked him, although I knew I wasn't in the living world at that moment, because Mason and Tatiana weren't a part of the living world any longer.

"You're in our world." He whispered to me, as he knelt down beside me. "You fell in the sea and then... and then you _drowned."_

I liked at him, and before I knew what was happening, I burst out laughing. "Very funny Mason. Seriously, where the hell am I? If you don't tell me in a minute, then I'm going to kick your ass." He looked at me gravely, and although I wanted to deny it, to deny that any of this was true, all I saw was truth in his eyes. "You mean... you mean I'm _dead?"_

"Yes." And then I broke apart.

"Rose, listen to me." I looked up and saw Tatiana looking at me with something I had never seen shine in her eyes, for me anyway. It was concern. "You were never meant to die now and that's going to change. We're not supposed to do this, and I know we're going to be in a lot of trouble for this, but we're going to send you back to the living world."

I felt emotional that Tatiana would do this for me. "But why? Why are you doing this for me?" I asked her.

"Dimitri killed me and my nephew and also you. I want justice to be served."

"Speaking of Adrian... where is he?" I asked, feeling tears prickle my eyes. I missed him more than I would admit to anyone; even Christian.

"All you need to know is that he's happy. He's at peace. He doesn't care anymore about his death, but the problem is that I do. Every time I see his face all I feel is anger. Adrian had the rest of his life to lead, and Dimitri took that away from him out of jealousy. He also took Adrian's right to be a father to his son."

"Can I see him?"

"No. Rose, you have to move on; that's what Adrian wants for you. Before you got kidnapped by Dimitri, you were finally happy with Christian; that has to carry on. I know and so does Adrian that you loved him very much, but you can't change the past. What you can do is change the future and that's why I'm going to send you back."

"If I can be sent back, why can't Adrian? And you? Mason?" I asked, utterly confused by this whole conversation.

"I can't be sent back because I was meant to die now. If Dimitri hadn't killed me physically, I would have died eventually anyway – maybe a week later or something. Dimitri just sped up the process. I was only ever meant to be alive to be Queen until Lissa was ready to become Queen; then I was supposed to die."

"But will Lissa become Queen now anyway? She's part of the reason you're dead in the first place."

"I don't think she will; not for long anyway. But it doesn't matter – my time came, and I'm happy about that. However, I don't want Dimitri to live the rest of his life happily when he took the life of someone who had a good future ahead of him and he took the right from a baby to know his daddy."

"What about Adrian?"

"I wanted to send him back. I really did, but he refused. He did it for _you."_

"Me? Why me?"

"If he'd come back to life, he knew that you would be in danger of dying in his place. He didn't want that because although you loved him you never loved him as much as he loved you. You were the love of his life. Always have been, always will be. He said that if him dying was the price to pay for you to lead a good long life then so be it. He was obviously sad but he accepted it."

"Why can't I see him and let me hear this from the horse's mouth?"

"Because it will create more harm than good. Please Rose, leave it. You always were stubborn but this is when I need to tell you to back off. Leave Adrian at peace." I nodded, but secretly I was thinking of ways that would help me see him for one last time. Tatiana raised her eyebrows, obviously being able to read my thoughts, but she didn't say anything. She was probably thinking about what she had just said – that I was stubborn and whatever she said wouldn't help me to see reason as much as she wanted it to.

"Why can't Mason come back then? Why not all the dead?"

Tatiana held a hand up to silence me and said: "We all come back eventually Rose. Maybe not in the same life, but we do. Me and Adrian just decided we didn't want to come back to this life. It's not worth it. Please Rose, enough with the questions."

I nodded slowly and the next thing I knew, I couldn't see Tatiana or Mason anymore and all I could see was a bright light up ahead. It was shiny and sparkly and I started to walk slowly towards it, wanting to touch it desperately and when I reached it, I realised that I couldn't physically touch it; it wasn't a light bulb or anything, but I was standing under it and around it and then all of a sudden, light shone everywhere and then it disappeared, and all was dark.

###

"Rose! Rose! Please wake up sweetheart." Slowly, my eyes opened into the terrified face of Christian.

"Christian?" I asked stupidly, although obviously it was him.

"Yes! It's me. Are you okay?" I gazed down at my body and then I looked around to find that I was in a hospital room. I had a headache and I saw dried blood on my arms and when I looked at my hands, especially my right hand, I wanted to be sick.

"Oh my god." Was all that came out of my mouth though.

Christian gazed down to the hand I had been staring at in horror, and he looked at me softly. "Everything is going to be okay Rose. Don't think about it. We _will _get through this."

"What are you talking about Christian? I'm _missing _a finger! I have three fingers now instead of four and now I'm a fucking freak." The machine next to me started beeping louder at my growing heart rate.

"Calm down Rose. _Please _calm down. I told you-"

"Oh shut up Christian. You're starting to sound like Edward in Twilight. I'm not in the mood for this. Just fuck off." Christian looked at me with a hurt expression, and although I knew I had made a mistake in what I said to him, I was just so angry. I had lost a finger, and it wouldn't have mattered _who _was there next to me. I would still have said the same thing. He then stalked out of the room, leaving me on my own and in silence.

However, a couple of minutes later, my mom appeared with Abe. "Rose! Thank god you're okay." She said, as she raced to my side and hugged me in a strong grip.

"Okay mom! Let me go. I do need to breathe you know." I said. She let go of me and looked me over.

"You're lucky to be alive. You know that right?"

"Of course I freaking do mom."

"Don't talk to your mom like that Rose. I know you've been through a terrible ordeal but it doesn't change how you speak to your parents."

"Yes dad." I replied.

Abe gazed down at my hand then, and so did my mom. My mom flinched back though, whilst my dad gazed at it in surprise. "When they said... never mind. Rose, I know you're probably freaking out right now looking at your hand, but just remember that you're alive and that's the most important-"

"I know Abe. I've been told already and I don't need to hear it a million more times. Anyway, what exactly happened to me?"

"You were found lying unconscious at the beach near court. You had a really badly bleeding hand and arm, and apparently you were dead for about three minutes or something."

"And why is my bloody hand not covered up?"

"It was, but the nurses said that there was too much blood and you needed to let some of the blood go on its own first. It will be covered up again soon and a long time after you leave the hospital as well." I cringed at the thought.

After about an hour, Abe and my mom left me to sleep. I didn't want to dream, and I didn't. However, when I woke up the next day, I realised that I wish I had dreamt. Maybe I would have seen Adrian. Okay, he was dead, but anything was possible. I mean, I had come back to life right?

###

A week later, I was allowed to leave. I hadn't seen Christian since I told him to fuck off, and I was quite angry and miffed at him for not coming to see me. Sure, I had told him to fuck off, but I would have thought he would have _wanted _to come and see me. That's one of Christian's flaws though; he holds a grudge for far longer than he should.

My mom came to pick me up, and with my hand in lots of white plaster to cover my missing finger, I got in my mom's car with not that much effort. She drove me to Court which surprised me more than it should have, especially as most of the drama in my life had started and finished here. I didn't ask her any questions though, and stayed quiet in the back seat. My mom had brought my IPod with her, so I was listening to that instead and the volume was on full.

When we were at Court, my mom parked in Court in the Guardian's car park, and we sat in silence for a few minutes. "There's something you should know Rose. Something important; well, two things actually."

"What?" I whispered.

"Well, have you wondered why you're not sucked into Lissa's head anymore?" I hadn't even thought about that, but now she mentioned it...

"Actually, that's a good point."

"Well, when the relationship between the one shadow kissed and the vampire that brought you back to life is strained, and is shred at the seams, the bond is ripped apart as well. That's what happened to the bond between you and Lissa."

I nodded, and before she continued, I asked her: "How did you know the bond between me and Lissa hadn't been in use for a while?"

"I didn't, but I had a good feeling something had happened to it. I wanted to make sure I was right." I nodded, and then she went on to say something else she had wanted to tell me. "What I'm about to tell you now Rose is heartbreaking and something I think you should know. Something you would find out eventually anyway." I nodded again. "A few days ago, Lissa came home with her baby boy, but yesterday... he died of a cot death." I stood there, stunned, and then I burst into heart wrenching tears. There was no way that Adrian would have a part of him in the world anymore, no way of that little man leading a life he deserved, regardless of who his mother was. I also realised that although I had barely seen him or even had a chance to think about him that much, I had grown to love him _because _of the fact that he was a part of Adrian.

My mom came and gave me a hug, comforting me, and said: "Maybe you should go and see Lissa. I know that she has put you through a lot, but she has just lost her baby. She needs people around her at the moment." She didn't have to convince me. I knew it was the right thing to do. Before she had even gotten through her sentence, I was on my way to where Lissa stayed.

I knocked on her door, but there was no answer. However, I could sense that she was in there, probably because of the bond – which made me wonder how I could still sense she was there if what my mother had said about our bond being torn to shreds beyond repair. I stood back, and used my foot to break the door down.

I went in, and all was quiet and then I heard it - noises coming from Lissa's bedroom. I went to her bedroom door, and opened it quietly and what saw me had me nearly giggling. Lissa was having sex in her bed, and all I could hear was the sounds of pleasure coming from both the people in the bed. However, my laughter died down when I saw who Lissa was having sex with. His head popping up from the covers, I saw Christian's head – no mistaking, I knew it was him – and I stood motionless as I watched the scene in front of me. Lissa started shouting Christian's now out and Christian was shouting her name out and then Lissa turned towards the door and stopped what she was doing when she saw me gazing at them in shock. Christian stopped as well and looked at the door as well, and saw me standing there. He gazed at me in surprise. Then I ran. Ran from the apartment towards where I stayed. I would have run, but it had only been in that moment that I realised I shouldn't be running anymore. I had to face my problems head on; just not today – never today.

###

That night I did dream; well, had nightmares. In my nightmares I saw Lissa and Christian, holding hands and a baby in Lissa's arms with them both gazing down with love in their eyes. I saw Dimitri having sex with my mom and I saw Adrian in the background holding a baby in his arms, which I gathered was the baby he had with Lissa, because he had tears streaming down his face.

My nightmares disappeared though, when I felt someone shaking me awake. "What? What time is it..." I mumbled, and I looked up to see Christian looking down at me. "What do you fucker want? Had enough of bonking Lissa and decided you want another piece of me?" I shouted at him.

"Rose, calm down. Let me explain."

"EXPLAIN? YOU SHAGGED LISSA WHILE YOU WERE STILL WITH ME. You shagged her..." The last of my sentence I mumbled again, as I started crying.

Christian started shaking me to stop, and through my blurry eyes I saw that tears shone in his eyes as well. "Let me explain." He said quietly. Having no more energy to tell him to fuck off, I let him. "I suppose you heard about the baby? Lissa was distraught; so was I. I was upset with our last conversation at the hospital, and when I found out about the baby I was upset about that too. He might have turned out not being mine, but finding out he had died made me realise that he _was _my son. Maybe not biologically, but I was there for Lissa throughout her pregnancy, and I probably would have ended up being there for her during his life as well. I stayed with her last night, and we cried together and, well, we had sex; lots of it. All we have done since last night is have sex. Comfort sex. You have to understand that Rose..."

"How can I understand Christian? I've just seen my boyfriend having sex with my ex best friend and you're here telling me how much of it you had. Next you will be telling me you're in love with her again..." I looked at him, and I was shocked to see he didn't deny it.

"I don't know Rose. I thought I wasn't, I was so mad at her. But since, you know, and seeing her cry; it broke my heart. I hated seeing her so caught up like that. All I wanted to do was be there for her..."

"I thought you loved me. What about all these love declarations you've given me. Make your mind up Christian, I don't understand you."

"I do love you. I _am _in love with you."

"Then what are you saying?"

"That I think I'm still in love with Lissa as well."

###

My mind was filled with revenge. I had to kill him: Dimitri. He had to pay for what he had done to Tatiana and Adrian. He had to understand what he had done. What he had done to me; to my life.

I saw him right where I told him to meet me, and I lunged for him. However, I should have known that the man that had trained me himself would be stronger than me. At least I tried.

"Roza. I see you survived drowning..."

"No thanks to you, you dick."

He smirked at me and said: "It was a test. A test to see how strong you are and you past; you survived."

"What are you talking about?"

"War, Rose. I'm going to give you an offer. An offer you can't refuse."

"What kind of offer?"

"Christian betrayed you; Lissa betrayed you-"

"_You've _betrayed me-"

He grinned. "Roza, I might have betrayed you and you might want to kill me, but Christian is the one that left you at your most vulnerable time and decided he was still in love with his ex."

"And you killed my best friend, killed the Queen and tried to kill me. Oh and slept with my ex best friend." He actually laughed at this point.

"Don't hold grudges Rose. Anyway, how about you listen to my offer? Okay. I will help you get revenge on Christian and Lissa, if you join me in my battle to become King. To change the law so that it doesn't just have to be vampires that rule our land, but Dhampirs as well."

"You're mad."

"Are you in?"

"Of course I fucking am."


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

I couldn't think rationally anymore; all my thoughts were around one thing: revenge. I had to make Christian and Lissa pay for hurting me; for cheating on me; for breaking my heart.

Over the past months, I had thought that I was the only girl in the world that Christian was in love with and to find out he might still have feelings for Lissa after all was the worst thing in the world to be told. I wasn't stupid; I could tell that Christian still loved me. However, he loved Lissa too and that's where we had a problem. Add that to the fact that Christian cheated on me while I was still in hospital with his ex, and you have a bullshitting man.

After he dropped the bombshell on me, the tears had already rolled down my face to the point that my eyes were now so dry, tears were impossible. Christian looked at me with a mixture of despair and sorrow, pleading with me through his eyes to understand. But what did he expect? That I would be okay with being cheated on by the man I was in love with and to be told that said love of life was still in love with his ex and that I would jump into his arms and tell him everything would be okay? Who was he kidding?

He told me that he wanted a break from our relationship, from any relationships including with Lissa. He said he was going to take a week away abroad somewhere away from Court to sort his head out and maybe realise who it was he actually loved. I was confused when he told me this, because Lissa had just lost her child and I thought he would want to stay and comfort her (although the thought still left me feeling empty inside) but he said he had been there for Lissa for more than a day, and that he needed to give both me and Lissa a break from him; whatever that meant.

He said that he had loved Lissa when he had first got with her and the events that led up to them getting together for the first time, but after the hell she had put me through, put him through, that he had thought he was falling out of love with her; when she told him she was pregnant with his child, he had felt heartbroken because he had fallen in love with me, but he wanted to do what was right, and stay with the mother of his child and raise their baby. When he had found out that the baby wasn't his after his birth, he had finally realised what type of person Lissa was and that he deserved better than someone like that. He deserved someone with a heart of gold like me.

He told me that that time we spent together before my kidnap was the happiest he felt in a long time. He didn't have a conniving bitch on his arm, he had someone he knew truly loved him for _him _and he didn't feel like he was being used. When I was kidnapped, all he could feel was fear for my safety and whether he would see me again alive. Finding out I was alive and in hospital had been one of the happiest days of his life, he said. Being at my bedside, holding my limp hand had been so hard on him, and when I had woken up and given him nothing but grief, he had felt heartbroken, and he had left. He had gone back home and just watched the television and had lots of beer. When he got a call to tell him about the death of baby Kyle, he had dropped the beer in his hand on the floor in shock, saw the mess the beer had created but hadn't cared; he had gone straight over to see Lissa to comfort her over the death of her son, and although he knew Kyle wasn't biologically his, he felt her grief in his heart because he had been with her throughout her pregnancy and during the birth. He hadn't planned it and he didn't think Lissa had either, but they had slept together to forget about their loss and afterwards, with Lissa in his arms, he realised that there had to be a reason why he slept with her so willingly; it couldn't have been all down to Kyle, and when he felt Lissa awaken slowly, he knew the truth: that he _was _still in love with her even after everything she had put him through.

He said that he wished he hadn't cheated on me, because he hated the thought of hurting me, however he said that grief had a play in him not acting how he usually would and that seeing me walk in on him having sex with Lissa was one of the worst things to happen; seeing the look of agony of my face was really hard for him to see. He said that although this was true, it still didn't change the facts.

###

I stood on the beach I was found on only a few weeks ago, and gazed at the clear blue sky. The only sound was the sea moving backwards, forwards and sideways and I was the only one there. I looked down at my right hand and where my little finger used to be, and shuddered. I was starting to get used to the loss of one of my fingers, though it was still a strange feeling. When I had come onto the beach, I had taken the bandages off to allow the area my finger was to have a chance to breathe – I didn't want the spot to become infected after all.

I began walking along the beach, letting the sand tickle my toes and feeling the warm breeze and then I saw Dimitri walking towards me with his usual smug grin. After I had agreed to help him become King in exchange for help in having revenge against Christian and Lissa, Dimitri had talked none stop about his plan of action to become the first Dhampir king that this world had ever seen and not at all about Christian and Lissa. There were times during our plans that I wondered why I was helping him in the first place. Sure, he was helping me get revenge on Christian and Lissa, but he had betrayed me too. He had slept with Lissa, tried to get me killed and _had _killed my best friend, Adrian. But then I realised that although I had loved Dimitri, I had loved Christian more and as for Adrian... like Tatiana had said, the dead should stay dead; at least until their next life. There was no point on opening old wounds and there was definitely no point in remembering why I was brought back to life in the first place.

"Well hello Roza; I trust you slept well?" He was referring to the beach house we were currently staying in. It was about a mile away from Court.

I rolled my eyes and said: "Yes Dimitri, yes I did. What is it you want now?"

"It's time to pay Court another visit." I was shocked when he said this; mainly because I hadn't thought we would return so soon. It had only been a week since we left.

"So soon?"

"Yes Roza. Doesn't Christian return today?" He smirked again.

"So that's why we're returning. We're finally going to get to the revenge part of our deal."

"Of course Roza, I never back down from my deals." He winked at me, and led me to the beach house. "It is time to eat something before we leave. I don't think we will have much time to eat for a long time after we arrive back at Court."

The beach house belonged to Dimitri's family, so he told me when he first arrived. Although he was born and bred in Russia, there had been one year as a child that his mom, grandmother, himself and his sisters had moved to America to live for a bit, because jobs were scarce for a time in Russia and America was the only place they could find that would be able to provide his mother with a job to keep them all alive and being able to be fed well, and have somewhere suitable to live. His mother, Olena, had managed to bag herself a job in a posh hotel, and they provided her and her family the beach house to live in. After a year, the family had become homesick for Russia, and finding out that the jobs in Russia had become easier to come by again, Olena had quit her job and moved the family back to Russia. Dimitri had loved America in the year he had lived there, and once he was old enough to leave home, he became a Guardian in America.

Dimitri had provided me with the room he said one of his sisters, Viktoria had slept in. I remembered Viktoria from the time I went to Russia to find Dimitri when he was strigoi and to kill him. She had been the sister I had been closest to, though the bond had been destroyed and we never did make up. The room was plain, with white walls and a wooden floor and the bed had white covers as well. It wasn't the type of room I would boast about, but at the same time I wasn't looking for a room to boast about; I was here and what I liked to refer to as _business._

One of Dimitri's servants had made us some tomato soup, and I slurped it up as quickly as possible. I wanted to be going to Court as quickly as I could, because although I had agreed to the plan with Dimitri, there was still some part of me that felt that it was wrong - I kept pushing it back though. Dimitri was much slower with his food and I guessed that it was on purpose from the way he kept smirking at me and when he was finished he went to gather our weapons for our trip.

He returned and said, as he gave me the weapons: "Here you go Roza. Now let's have some fun..."

###

It was strange seeing Court again knowing I was back but I wasn't here to protect it like I had previously. There were the normal Guards posted at the gates and I could see Royals milling around inside, happy chatter between each other. From the corner of my eye, I could see Jill, or as Adrian referred to her, Jailbait, with a couple of girls who I assumed to be some of her friends. She was smiling happily and for a second I wanted to go to her and hug her. I hadn't spoken to her in a long time, and the last I saw of her was when she was training with Christian to become a vampire that had strong powers and could fight alongside Dhampirs in fights against Strigoi. I had heard rumours while I was at the beach house that Jill was Lissa's younger illegitimate half sister. It was when I was eavesdropping on a conversation Dimitri was having with one of his spies at the beach house; I wasn't sure whether to believe it or not, but I decided it couldn't be true. It was obvious to anyone that had eyes that Lissa's father adored her mother.

"Are you ready?" Dimitri asked me suddenly, and I nodded. I put my balaclava over my head, and jumped out of the moving vehicle.

I followed Dimitri (who was dressed all in black – we were all dressed in black) round the back of Court, and he used his secret technique in opening doors, and I followed him inside. I knew that his workers at the front would be creating havoc right about now which would distract them from us. Dimitri led me into an empty room, and threw one of the black bags he had been carrying at me, and inside was a change of formal clothes; they weren't the type I would usually wear, for _any _event, but I made an exception this time. I slipped the pink sparkly dress and put the heart shaped pendant on and then I looked over at Dimitri who was looking very dashing in a black suit. I might hate him, but it didn't seem to be able to take away the attraction I had towards him.

He took my hand in his (I didn't want to hold his hand, but he didn't seem to let me have a choice) and led me to where the really important moroi lived, the ones that had the final say in laws and who was King and Queen. He barged through the door without knocking, and the Royal Moroi who were sat chatting together gazed up in shock and surprise.

"We've come to speak to the Royal Moroi who's standing in as King or Queen until a new one is found." Dimitri said to them, with an air of confidence.

"Who do you think you are? Barging in here like that. How did you get in? There should have been Guards on duty..." One Moroi said.

"I think they are otherwise engaged at the front of Court, where I left some of my workers..." He said, and I watched as all the Moroi's eyes in the room widened.

"Why would they be there and not protecting you here?" Said a gorgeous Moroi woman who I noticed had been gazing at Dimitri since we had walked in with nothing but desire in her eyes. I didn't recognise her, but from Dimitri's stance, I could tell he had the same thoughts in his head as she did and I knew something would happen between them eventually. Having my eyes opened about what Dimitri was really like, had made me aware that he was a womaniser. Anything that was a girl, had long legs and was sexy as hell was usually his type. I'm not big headed by the way, I just say it how it is.

"Because I told them to be there." He replied, grinning. The other Moroi in the room started to look frightened, but this particular woman didn't look frightened at all.

"What did you want to ask us?" She asked him, seeming to forget I was there.

"I want the law to be changed. I want Dhampirs to have a chance at being King or Queen." He told the shocked room.

"Absolutely not possible." Said one Moroi.

"Why isn't it possible?" Dimitri asked. "Dhampirs grow up and are told that they can be one of two things: a guardian who protects Moroi or a blood whore. On the other hand, there's Moroi who grow up and if they are from the most powerful families, they have to want for nothing. How is that fair? Dhampirs have to leave in danger all the time, without much choice. Sure, women Dhampirs have the extra choice of becoming a blood whore, but all that brings is disapproval and disrespect. Look at my sister if you want proof."

"Moroi aren't as strong as Dhampis and you know it. Sorry, but this discussion is ended. Please leave." A man at the far corner of the room said abruptly, and both me and Dimitri looked in his direction, and from the powerful respect he was given from the other Moroi in the room, it was obvious that he was the stand in King.

Dimitri began to walk over to him, his weapons posed and when he reached the other side of the room and was in front of him he said: "Are you going to make me? I don't think you can Frederick. Your Guards are on the other side of Court, and you and the rest of these Royals are all unprepared. I would say both me and Rose here have enough weapons to fight you all off."

Instead of looking scared, however, Frederick, (I was shocked that Dimitri knew his name, but I should have guessed with the amount of experience and destinations Dimitri had been to) just grinned. "Do you really think I would go anywhere unprepared? How stupid do you think I am?" Frederick then produced a long and sharp knife from his pocket, and pointed it at Dimitri's chest. "I should warn you: I have a knife right in front of where your heart is, and I'm also one of the rare spirit users out there. I don't need any Guards or any backup, I'm perfectly capable of defending myself. I just have the Guards because that's something I don't get a choice in."

At that moment, the door opened again and there stood five of Dimitri's men. They ran to where Dimitri was, and before anyone had a chance to think, one of them had stabbed Frederick right in the chest. He fell on the floor in a grey heap moments later. There was an intake of breath at the suddenness of it, and then Dimitri was walking at a fast pace towards the door and where I stood. I was frozen in place at the unnecessary death. Dimitri grabbed my arm, and dragged me to the door; well, I didn't stop him, mainly because my brain felt like mush.

Before we left, Dimitri turned to the group of Moroi who were all looking absolutely terrified now, and said: "I suggest you think about what I have just asked you. We don't want any more deaths like that one." He pointed to the dead Frederick on the floor, and then we left the room.

As we were walking out of Court, I saw Christian. He was looking at me with remorse in his eyes, and when I tried to gesture for him to come to me, he shook his head no. I felt sad, and then I realised that if anyone should be feeling remorseful, it should be Christian; I hated him with every fibre in my body. It was consuming. I made Dimitri let go of my arm, and I ran at Christian with my stake in my hand, death in my eyes. I was going to kill him. However, before I got there, Dimitri stopped me. "Come on Roza, there is plenty of time for that.; one stage at a time." I tried to tell him to get off me, so that I could go over to Christian and cause him pain just like he had caused me. In that moment, I thought about the show _Skins_ that I loved so much and what Cassie said to Jal one day about what love felt like. _"__**Cassie:**__ Have you ever been in love? __**Jal**__: I don't think so. __**Cassie**__: Do you want me to describe it to you? Do you remember when you rode with me in the ambulance after I tried to kill myself? __**Jal:**__ Of course. __**Cassie:**__ That's what love feels like." _I realized that her definition of love was true. I had loved both Dimitri and Christian, and I had loved Adrian as well, and every single one of these guys had caused me pain; especially Christian. Always Christian.

"I hate him. I HATE HIM." I shouted, as Dimitri grabbed me by the waist and dragged me to his car where it had been hidden. I looked back at Christian, but he was no longer there. Maybe that was a good thing I thought, because if he had still been stood there, I knew I would have killed him.

###

The following week, nothing had really changed in our plan. Except for one thing: I had began to have really bad stomach cramps, and every morning and some nights, I would be throwing up in the toilet. It wasn't particularly nice, but I decided that it had to be something I ate; or just a really bad illness. I didn't think much of it until I fainted, and found myself in hospital. But that wasn't what surprised me; it was being told I was pregnant that did it.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

I didn't understand how I could be pregnant; or how I wasn't told sooner. I mean, I had been in hospital since the last time I slept with Christian, so I thought it would have been brought up. Also, I didn't understand how I was still pregnant. I had _died _for god's sake!

I looked at the nurse who had entered the room to see how I was. "I want answers." I said firmly.

"I know Miss Hathaway, and we are going to do our best and answer your questions, but for now you need to rest for the sake of your baby and for yourself." She replied. At that moment, Dimitri entered the room. I watched the nurse blush, (Dimitri seemed to do that to the majority of girls out there) and leave the room; Dimitri came and sat next to me in the chair provided.

"Well well well Rose, you're full of surprises." He said to me.

"Shut up." I replied.

"No need to get snappy Rose. I'm not the one that got myself knocked up. Are you sure you know who the father is? You seem to be in love with everyone lately..." I tried to punch him in the face, but it didn't work. "What did the nice nurse say? You have to rest for the sake of your _baby _and _you._" He smirked.

"I know very well who the father is and I don't appreciate you making jokes like that. Have you rang my parents for me?" Dimitri laughed.

"Why would I do that? It's got anything to do with me..." I tried to punch him again.

"It's called being considerate Dimitri. But I suppose I should have guessed you wouldn't have. It's not like you care about anything but yourself..."

"That's me, looking out for number one." He said, and grinned.

"Stop fucking laughing for once you idiot."

"Calm down Rose..."

"I'm pregnant with Christian's baby, something I didn't know until now when I should have been told sooner, my life is a cannibal of disaster... and you expect me to _calm down_?"

Dimitri just shook his head and mumbled: "Hormones." I rolled my eyes; it was useless trying to get through to him.

Moments later, I finally saw a doctor that could explain things to me. "Miss Hathaway," He began, "According to my information, you never had the required tests you should have had after your accident. I apologize for that, but now we do need to check to see how the baby is doing and so we're going to take you for an ultrasound. I hope that's okay." He doesn't make it a question, rather a statement, and with the help of a nurse, they put me into a wheelchair to help me to the required room; Dimitri has left by then.

I lie down on the bed, and try not to think about the exact reason I'm here. I feel coldness on my stomach, and then the next thing I know I look up at the screen and although there isn't much there, as I'm not that far gone, I feel my emotions get the better of me. My baby. I feel speechless looking at the cute little bundle on the screen, (well my baby was going to be cute I knew, anyway...) and my eyes welled up with tears. Then I think that what Dimitri said before now makes sense for my situation now; it has to be my hormones.

"It looks like your baby is fine; more than fine." The doctor tells me, and I'm relieved to hear it. Knowing that my baby is safe inside my belly is the best moment in my life so far and it's in that moment that I realise: revenge against Christian isn't worth the cost of possibly losing my unborn child. I wanted to do everything I possibly could to keep my baby safe and if that meant never seeing Christian again and not helping Dimitri with his stupid plans, then so be it.

"Thank you." I whisper to the doctor, and she smiles at me with genuine warmth and then tells me about how to keep safe, how to keep the baby safe and everything else I had to know. I nod all the way through, thinking, I'm going to have a baby...

After the ultrasound, the doctor tells me that it's safe for me to leave. I nod, relieved and I gather my stuff and walk to the exit. When I get to the reception area, I sign myself out and I see Dimitri is waiting for me.

"What are you doing here?" I hiss at him.

"A nurse called me and said that it was safe for my 'girlfriend' to leave the hospital and that I should come and pick you up." He sniggers at that.

"I don't need picking up. I'm perfectly capable of leaving myself." I reply.

"I hope you're not planning on going back on our deal..."

"There never really was a deal Dimitri."

"Oh yes there was and you listen to me," He leans in and whispering he carries on, "If you don't help me, then something might 'accidently' happen to your unborn child..." I feel my face pale and anger forms in my brain.

I lean into him and say, "Don't you dare threaten me, you bastard. Stay away from me." I begin to walk away, but he grabs my right arm.

"What did I just say Rose? You're coming with me now." Before I have a chance to scream, Dimitri had put a hand over my mouth so my screams are muffled, and he manages to do this without anyone noticing as he walks slowly (I'm resisting) with me out of the door and full force into the cold air and he drags me to his awaiting car and pushes me in with a little force. He gets in beside me, and says to the driver: "You know the place." And then the car drives off.

"I can't believe you're doing this Dimitri. Why can't you just let me go?" I begin to plead. At one point I wouldn't have cared, but I realise that I have something to care about now: my baby.

"Because out of everyone I know, you are easily the person that is most likely to help me be successful. I need that. Just remember what I said earlier about your baby, Rose. I would hate for something to happen to it..."

"It's not an 'it' it's a 'him' or 'her'." I snap.

"Well we don't know the baby's gender yet do we Rose, so for now it's an 'it'." It annoyed me so much the way he seemed to act like the baby was his, but I kept it to myself. I didn't want any more trouble. I decided to bite my tongue because if it meant my baby would be safe, then so be it. However, I knew being involved with Dimitri's plan still wasn't exactly the best way to keep him or her safe, but I also knew that there would be a problem with whatever I chose, but this postponed the inevitable should the worst thing ever happen; though I was going to make damn sure it didn't.

He took me back to the beach house, and strangely he was rather kind to me, and told everyone to treat me well because I was pregnant. The doctor had told me that I was about three weeks pregnant, which was definitely right, but she also said that I was still in the danger zone for having a miscarriage, which scared me shitless. It hadn't been that long since I had been told I was having a baby, but I had already become attached to the little one; I was becoming maternal, something I never thought I would. Especially since, although I knew my mom loved me, I knew she wasn't maternal in the least; that's why I had been raised in a school for most of my life.

Dimitri didn't let me use the phone, ever, to contact my mom and Abe to tell them I was okay, because I think he thought I might tell them where I was and he knew that if they found out, they would come straight here to get me, and probably kill Dimitri for threatening me and my unborn baby. No, scratch that. My mom and dad would kill _Christian _first and then Dimitri. I think.

###

Another week past of complete boredom. I was so bored that I wanted to have another 'fight' at Court. I watched as Dimitri kept leaving the beach house to go somewhere, but I didn't have a clue where. That was, until he told me and put me into shock.

"What?" I said.

"You heard me... the powerful Royal Moroi have decided to change the law." I was gobsmacked. I had actually started to forget about that, but him reminding me was enough for me to just keep opening and closing my mouth at him like a fish.

"Just like that?" I was confused that they would accept so fast. I thought that they would go through a vote or something before they just accepted.

"I must have scared them pretty bad into accepting after Frederick died." He said. I was shocked that they would be scared of one man. When Frederick died, they were unprepared but I thought that since then they would make sure they were protected at all times in case something like this ever happened again. No, I was pretty sure there was more to it than this; nothing came that easy.

"So that's where you've been over the past week? At Court?"

"Of course not Rose. I've been entertaining a certain someone..." He didn't elaborate, and I didn't want him to. It was pretty obvious as to what his meaning was.

"So how do you know they've accepted?"

"My certain someone told me..." I realised that he must have been having sex with the hot moroi that was flirting with him with her body back when he was trying to get them to change the law.

"So what happens now?" I asked him.

"We have to go to Court."

"When?"

"Tomorrow."

"Why not today?"

"It's too soon. If we go storming in there _the day _Melissa told me, then even Melissa is going to think I'm actually easy to wrap around their fingers."

"But don't you think a week is pushing it anyway? What difference does a day make?"

"Enough with the questions Rose. We're going tomorrow, and that's final."

"Can I just ask you one thing?"

He sighed and said: "What?"

"When you saw that I had fainted last week, why did you take me to the hospital? It wasn't that long ago that you let me drown in the water at sea to die. Why the change of heart?"

"I needed you alive, Rose, for my plan."

"But I haven't really made a difference have I? You managed to get them to change the law without me."

He started to walk towards me, and when he reached me, he said: "Actually Rose, you _did _help a lot. They would have ran to the hill tops if I'd turned up last week without you. With you there looking terrified, they would have wanted to make sure you are okay. Therefore, they listened to me."

I was surprised at this, especially as everyone had known Dimitri and I had been a thing. Also, I was supposed to be 'badass' in everyone's eyes. "Oh," was all I said though, when he told me this.

"They are looking for you as we speak," He said to my surprise, "They think I kidnapped you." He chuckled.

"Well you actually _did _Dimitri." I replied.

"Whatever." Was all he said, and then he made sure there was a small gap between us and he was invading my personal space, and then kissed me on the lips. I slapped him when he did.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" I asked him, and for the first time in a long time, Dimitri actually looked _embarrassed. _I wanted to laugh at that.

"What did it look like to you?" He asked me.

Not having a very good come back, I hissed at him: "Don't you dare do that again. If you do, I will make sure you are never able to use your goods downstairs..." I pointed at his cock, which was fully erect.

"Okay then." He replied with sarcasm in his voice. Then he walked off.

He woke me at 4am in the morning the next day, saying that we had to leave now. "Why so early?" I mumbled, feeling the sleep in my eyes and my stomach cramps which indicated I was about to throw up. I ran to the toilet quickly and did just that.

"Element of surprise," He laughed, "Now get ready and meet me at the car in fifteen minutes. A Guard will lead you there so you don't run off..." I nodded, and he left the room open and went to do whatever he was going to do.

The Guard was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs like Dimitri said he would be and he led to Dimitri's fancy car. I climbed in, putting my hand on my stomach for a second and thinking, _I will keep you safe, baby, I will keep you safe..._

###

When we arrived at Court, I wasn't expecting what I saw: there were Guards and Moroi alike standing outside the Court's gates and for a moment I sat in the seat in Dimitri's car, looking out of the window in shock. I looked over at Dimitri, expecting him to explain all this, but I could tell from his facial expression that this had been the last thing he had expected as well.

"What the hell is going on here?" Though I knew not to expect an honest answer, or at least I knew what he was going to say.

"I have no fucking clue. I shouldn't have..." He trailed off.

"You shouldn't have what?" I whispered.

"I shouldn't have told Melissa about my plan." He said to me.

"YOU DID WHAT?" I screamed at him.

"Rose, keep your voice down. Of course I told her when and where we were coming, I didn't tell her what day, but she must have assumed anyway but I never expected her to turn against me."

"How could you be so stupid? For all the things you are, the one thing I was certain of was that you're smart. You're sure not acting like it though now. Just because you're screwing her doesn't mean you should tell her all your secrets."

"Oh shut up; we need another plan of action..."

"Exactly what, Dimitri? I would say we're pretty much screwed. Why don't we just leave it?"

"Are you kidding me Rose? We can't back down now. No, here's what we're going to do..." He told me what we were going to do now, fight, and a part of me quivered in fear; not for a fight, I was used to them, but for the safety of my unborn child. However, I knew I didn't have much choice in the matter. Dimitri gave me my stake and a couple of other weapons, and he carried a long and sharp knife, as well as a gun. The rest of his guards had the same as him. Once items were distributed, we climbed out of the car and walked the short distance towards Court where the many Guards and Moroi were waiting inside the gates. Then it happened; the fight.

The Guards at the gate threw the gates open, and came flooding out at a really fast pace, walking straight in the direction of Dimitri. Dimitri had his own Guards for protection though, so he didn't look scared, just confused and if I didn't know any better... _sad._ However, I saw him go into battle stance and then he ran towards people of the opposing side of his team, stabbing people with a perfect skill as he went along. I was amazing, as well as frightened at how well he was with a knife and at defending himself.

It was at this point that I felt someone grab hold of my arm, and going into battle stance myself, I punched the intruder in the face. I turned round to see the vampire or Dhampir that I had knocked out, and I was surprised and angry with myself when I saw Jill beginning to faint. "Oh god, oh god, oh god..." I mumbled and I began shaking her gently to make sure she was okay. She squirmed and then looked right at me.

"Why did you do that?" She whispered and before I had a chance to answer, she passed out.

"Rose! What the hell did you do that for?" This time I recognised the voice and turned round to see Abe running towards me in between all the chaos we were in the middle of.

"I was trying to protect myself in this mess. How was I supposed to know that I would turn round to see Jill looking at me?" I answered.

He shook his head and said: "She came to get you to go into Court; for your safety. The Guards are trying to capture Dimitri and then put him in prison. We know all about the harm he's caused." I stood listening to him for a minute, talking about Dimitri and then I remembered that we were in a middle of a fight and if we didn't stop standing here talking about something pointless in that moment, then we could find ourselves dead.

"Abe, we need to talk about this later. Right now we have this battle on our hands." Not listening to his reply, I ran off to some Guards to kick some ass.

About an hour later, the fight was still going on and at this point I had absolutely no idea who I was fighting anymore; whether I was fighting Dimitri's Guards and protecting everyone in Court or whether I was still on Dimitri's side and fighting the Guards that protected Court. All I knew was one thing: whoever I was fighting, it wasn't good for the baby I was carrying. But I couldn't stop; I felt like all the anger and sadness I had suppressed was coming out in my fighting against the other Guardians. I wasn't thinking about whether Jill was okay, whether Abe or anyone else I cared about was okay. In that moment all I could think about was _my _pain and misery.

It was also at this point that I felt a sharp pain in the side of my stomach. I gazed down at a stab wound and blood pouring out at a fast rate. I looked up and saw Dimitri leering at me; like he had won, _again. _I was so angry, angrier than I had ever been at him, that, holding the stake in my hand, I launched it at Dimitri's chest and where his heart was, and thrust it through in a perfect shot. I watched as Dimitri looked at me in surprise, his face paling and then Dimitri falling to the floor. I looked him over, and knew he was dead.

**A/N: Well I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and remember to review! Just a forewarning of the next chapter, the first half or so will be a bit depressing, however in the second half there will be a special guest arriving...**

**Hopefully I will have the next chapter up in a few days or so.**


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

I couldn't think straight. As soon as the dagger had gone into Dimitri's heart and I had killed him, it was like everything went in slow motion. Everyone put down their weapons and stared at the dead body at my feet and then there was no fighting anymore. After all, Dimitri had been the one to trigger the fighting in the first place. Then before I knew what was happening, someone pulled me away gently and I looked up to see ambulances ambushing Court; they weren't human, rather Doctor Moroi's because humans couldn't know about Court or our existence, and they were pulling Moroi and Dhampirs into the ambulances.

Everyone watched me as I got into an ambulance and then I remembered that I had been stabbed in my side. When I'd killed Dimitri, I had felt nothing but numb, but now reality was starting to hit me again. I had been stabbed, and I didn't know if my baby was okay...

"Miss Hathaway, please lie down on the bed for us," said the soft voice of one of the women paramedics. I didn't argue, and did what she said, and I began to feel numbness again. I realised that numbness was better than any other emotion. "The bleeding is very bad, so we're going to have to cover it up until we get to the hospital." She said to me.

"I'm pregnant..." I mumbled to her.

She nodded and said: "Okay Miss Hathaway, but there's nothing we can do until we're at the hospital." I nodded, but inside I was really scared. What if something had happened to my baby?

At the hospital, my stab wound was dealt with and I had stitches put into it. It wasn't as bad as I first thought, and it was just the blood that made it look worse than it actually was. Then it was time to have the ultrasound I was dying to have to see if my baby was okay. Like before, the doctor put the cool liquid over my stomach, and I tried not to think about anything as he twirled the thing he was holding over my stomach; then he stopped. He left me on my own for a moment, and left the room and then returned with a sympathetic look on his face.

"Miss Hathaway," He began, "There's no easy way to say this but I'm afraid it looks like you've miscarried. It looks like although the knife didn't slice you too deeply, it did slice you enough that it burst the small placenta your baby would be growing in, and at such an early stage in your pregnancy, this is very dangerous." He looked at me, trying to come off as indifferent, but I could see the sympathy in his eyes; this man that must already have a couple of children of his own wasn't the one that had just lost his baby: I had and I knew that the sympathy was for me but he was secretly happy it wasn't him that had lost a child. Sure, I might not have even reach the one month mark yet, but it still hit me like a ton of bricks. Before he had a chance to continue to break my heart further, I burst into heart wrenching tears and the next hour felt like a blur.

I had to stay overnight before the doctor could dismiss me for precaution. I wouldn't have cared anyway; I was in too much grief. It was for a moment, when I saw Lissa of all people to enter my hospital room that I forgot everything in the first place.

"What are you doing here?" I asked her and slightly harshly.

"I've come to see how you are. I heard..." She trailed off, and I realised it was because she didn't want me to feel any more upset. Though she should have realised it wouldn't mattered either way; I had lost my unborn child – how did anyone get over that? Especially when the person responsible you had been hopelessly in love with just a year ago? She looked at me, looking miserable, and said: "I know what you're going through Rose. I lost my baby too. I never planned to have children, but Kyle became my world. I know you didn't think so that day when you came to see me in the hospital, but it's the _truth. _I would have done anything for him." I saw tears form in her eyes, and I realised that she was genuine for once.

"I understand that Lissa, but why are you being nice to me? After all the hell you put me through, not doing the right thing by trying to save Adrian from death, stealing Christian from me..."

"Technically, you stole Christian off me in the first place. As for Adrian, I know you won't believe me when I saw this but I honestly don't remember any of it. I don't remember my time with Dimitri, I don't even remember being angry at you, except at the hospital with Kyle," It was at this point I realised that her voice was groggy from a lot of crying. "I know you hate me for sleeping with Adrian, and I hate myself. Christian and I were having a rough patch and Adrian was just _there. _He was upset over you and we both just wanted the pain to go away..."

"If that's the case, then why did Adrian tell me different?"

"I don't know Rose; I don't know... All I know is that is the last thing I remember before giving birth to Kyle. Everything in between that is like a blur to me. I don't remember all the pain I inflicted on you; or anyone else. I got upset with you when you came to the hospital because you were obviously mad and I didn't understand why. You know me, I try and fight back with words when people upset me; especially my supposed best friend. When I heard you were kidnapped I was terrified that something had happened to you, and I panicked. But obviously I couldn't tell anyone else that because everyone had turned against me; Eddie and Mia wouldn't speak to me. Also, I had to care for Kyle. When I heard you had been found I was so relieved, I can't even begin... and then Kyle died. I was so upset Rose, and Christian was there..."

"Basically what you're saying is that when you're caught up in grief you like to have sex with the men in my life?"

"No! That's not what I mean Rose. Oh I don't know..." Then she really did burst into tears. I went over to her and wrapped my arms around her, and she wrapped her arms around me and then I found myself crying into her as well. Having someone comfort me, even if it was Lissa, was enough to make me cry because it made me realise and remember what I had lost only that day and who I had killed.

"Do you love him?" I asked her, curious.

"No! I did, but _way _before you even liked him. I swear, I'm so confused at the moment Rose, I don't know what's happening to me..." I nodded, and as I nodded, I remembered everything that had happened to me today and I burst into tears again. Lissa came to my side again and began hugging me, but I shrugged her off.

"I just want to be left alone at the moment Lissa. Everything's happening too quickly for me and I just..." I trailed off, but I knew she knew what I meant and she left me in peace. When she left, I crumbled to the floor and cried.

###

The next day my mom came to see me.

"Are you okay hunni?" She said, and for a moment I was in so much shock I was frozen; my mother _never _called me 'hunni'. It just wasn't in her vocabulary.

"How do you think I feel?" I whispered, "I've just lost my unborn child. _Miscarried."_

"I know Rose. I know how you feel; remember, I've lost a child too." And then I remembered that my mom had gone through a worse situation than me: she had carried her child full term and then lost her. This made me cry further.

"I'm sorry mommy," and big fat tears rolled down my cheeks again. My mom, looking as heartbroken as me, wrapped me in her arms.

"It's okay Rose, I'm here and I won't leave you..." She said as she curled my hair around her finger and let me fall asleep in her arms.

###

Another week past, and when I was home, I felt like a zombie. I couldn't help remembering, and I couldn't make myself forget. I had always had this habit that when I was upset about something, I was upset about everything: all my memories came back to the surface so that I felt miserable for days on end. It was like depression, though I knew I didn't have that; I had just been a very unlucky person.

I scrambled in my bed, (I had been having a sandwich that tasted like cardboard because I just wasn't hungry these days) and I went to sleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. I went into a dream almost instantly.

I was standing on a beach, the one that I had been found on when Dimitri tried to drown me, and as I looked around I saw someone I thought I would never see again.

"Hi Rose," said Adrian.

###

The sun shone out of my window at Court, and I pondered on the memories I had of seeing Adrian again the previous night. I remembered the shock I had felt when Adrian had looked at me again with bright eyes and a big grin forming on his face. Most of all, I had felt happier than I had in a long time...

"_Hi Rose," said Adrian._

"_Adrian?" I whispered, mesmerised in shock. "Am I dreaming?"_

"_Yes. I wanted to see you again, but no one would let me see you. I managed to get inside one of your dreams, finally, without them knowing for once." He smirked._

"_Adrian, always the dare devil," I grinned back before I rushed into his arms. Adrian wrapped his arms around my waist, squeezing me to him as if he never wanted to let me go. I had to admit for a moment I didn't want to let him go; he felt like the only honest person I had ever known, although I knew I would have to let him go eventually. "I wish you weren't dead Adrian," I whispered, mumbling and I didn't realise that Adrian had heard me._

"_Me neither. However, things happen for a reason and I don't want you to be caught up about it. I want you to enjoy your life, Rose. I don't want you to feel sad for me, or get revenge."_

"_But... Queen Tatiana said that I should, that..."_

"_Don't listen to what she said. She's angry because I died at a young age and she wanted me to enjoy the rest of my life, have a family..." He trailed off and I remembered the recent events in the 'real' world._

"_Oh Adrian; I'm so sorry about Kyle." Tears started rolling down my cheeks at a fast rate, and Adrian wiped them away with his fingers._

"_You don't need to be sorry. I'm upset, don't get me wrong, but it turns out he needed to come here. It's weird, but he's actually going to have a life in this new world." I stared at him, baffled. When Adrian saw, he laughed. "All you need to know is that things worked out for the best in that front. However, I heard about your baby too."_

_Tears trickled down my face as I replied: "It's not like I knew for long anyway..."_

"_But you still cared Rose. That's why I fell in love with you, because you care. You might hide it and try and look fierce to the world, but underneath is a person that is sensitive and will do anything for the people she loves."_

"_You really are in love with me?"_

"_I always have and I always will be."_

_Everything next happened so fast. I began kissing him passionately and Adrian responded happily. Then, near the water fountain, we ripped each other's clothes off and made love. I didn't think it was possible to have sex that felt so real in a dream, especially with someone who was supposed to be dead, but we did and when it was over, I was awake again in my bedroom, feeling real tears trickling down my face._

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Next chapter will be back to Christian/Rose. *Finally* Lol.**


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